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Transcript of How To Become So Magnetic You Are Unrecognizable | Aaron Doughty | JumpWatch

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YouTube Transcript/How To Become So Magnetic You Are Unrecognizable | Aaron Doughty

Transcript of How To Become So Magnetic You Are Unrecognizable | Aaron Doughty

Lewis Howes

0:00One of the strongest things that [music]0:01I think actually holds us back is this 0:03one simple question right here. Who did 0:05you have to be as a kid [music]0:07to receive mom or dad's love? One of the 0:10things I think that makes people more 0:13[music] in an energy of attachment and 0:15not magnetic is that there's an 0:18attachment to an old identity of who 0:19they had to be.0:20>> He's a spiritual teacher who has helped 0:22millions shift their identity, rewire 0:25subconscious [music] beliefs, and 0:27regulate their nervous system. So,0:28please welcome Aaron Dowy.0:30>> Don't ever say I'm a people pleaser or 0:32I'm this. [music] That's a pattern. And 0:33then what's happened is you've 0:35misidentified a pattern for an identity.0:37Instead [music] is you look at what are 0:39the parts of myself that I'm attached to 0:42that [music] are keeping this pattern 0:44alive inside of my body.0:45>> What do you believe is the number one 0:47thing that blocks people from truly 0:50being so magnetic that they are 0:53unrecognizable? The thing that blocks 0:55people I believe the most is 1:04>> I wanted to start with the question that 1:06what do you believe is the number one 1:07thing that blocks people from truly 1:11being so magnetic that they are 1:13unrecognizable?1:15>> The thing that blocks people I believe 1:17the most is attachment.1:21It's attachment to either beliefs, an 1:25old identity,1:27um attachment to outcome. And what 1:30happens is attachment if you think about 1:33it in the terms of magnetic energy and 1:35vibration. Think about it in this 1:37analogy that your vibration is naturally 1:40high. Love, joy, and peace is who you 1:43naturally are. Mhm.1:44>> The only thing that keeps you from being 1:46that magnetic version of you is that of 1:51attachment that puts the resistance 1:53underneath the surface. It's like a cork 1:56on the top of the ocean just bobbing 1:58along. You give it resistance, it goes 2:00down. And to make it become magnetic, to 2:04make it go back up to the surface of the 2:06ocean, what do you do? Just let go. When 2:09you let go, it naturally just comes back 2:12up. So part of the challenge in our 2:15lives is that what we hold on to is we 2:19hold on to subconscious beliefs. We hold 2:22on to repressed energy from our past.2:25>> And one of the strongest things that I 2:27think actually holds us back is this one 2:29single this one simple question right 2:31here. It's who did you have to be as a 2:35kid to receive mom or dad's love? Mhm.2:39>> Because whoever you had to be as a kid 2:41becomes the role and the identity that 2:44you live within as a survival mechanism 2:48in order to get by. So one of the things 2:52I think that makes people more in an 2:55energy of attachment and not magnetic is 2:58that there's an attachment to an old 3:00identity of who they had to be. That 3:02strategy was actually really effective 3:04because it helped you survive within 3:06your fi family dynamics. When you're 3:08eight, nine, 12, 16, you had to 3:11>> belong in order to survive.3:14>> Yes.3:14>> And you had to simply perform 3:16>> if your parents needed you to in order 3:18for them to be happy with you or give 3:20you food and shelter.3:22>> Yeah.3:22>> Like it was a it was a coping mechanism 3:24in some ways. Right.3:25>> Exactly.3:25>> And then it just became a identity into 3:28adulthood. It's not like we just let it 3:30go right away.3:31>> Yeah. Yeah, that that's the challenge is 3:32that a lot of times people will have 3:34like an identity. They'll say like, "Oh,3:37I am a people pleaser. This is who I 3:40am." "Oh, I am a perfectionist." You 3:42really aren't a people pleaser or a 3:44perfectionist. You have a pattern that 3:48was a survival mechanism as a kid 3:50>> that allowed you to be who you thought 3:53you had to be to gain the approval or 3:56validation of mom and dad.3:57>> Right? So don't ever say I'm a people 4:00pleaser or I'm this. That's a pattern.4:02And then what's happened is you've 4:03misidentified a pattern for an identity.4:06So instead, what you look at is you look 4:09at what are the parts of myself that I'm 4:13attached to that are keeping this 4:16pattern alive inside of my body.4:18>> And for me, one of the patterns that I 4:21had to shed a few years ago even was a 4:24pattern of people pleasing. Mhm.4:25>> It was a pattern where I would catch 4:27myself feeling like other people's 4:30tension was something that I had to 4:32mitigate in order to feel safe. And part 4:35of it, I think, was just growing up,4:37having an uh like a certain dynamic as a 4:40kid with a exepmom in my life that was 4:43controlling. There was an energy where I 4:45had to please in order to feel safe. I 4:49had to um that was my mechanism as a 4:51kid. So what happens is now as an adult 4:54there's times where I'd find myself in 4:56that pattern and catch myself and then 5:00recognize that to be in that pattern is 5:04not magnetic because it's literally a 5:07survival strategy that also demands 5:09things from other people.5:11>> So what we subconsciously do as adults 5:14if we have unresolved stuff from 5:15childhood is it's like this unresolved 5:18energy underneath the surface. We then 5:21try to go play that out with other 5:23people in our life because there's this 5:25unresolved energy that wants to be 5:27released. So who do people pleasers tend 5:30to attract into their life?5:31>> Takers.5:32>> Yes. Takers and people you feel like you 5:35need to fix and people that are very 5:36hard to please and you don't want to 5:38disappoint them.5:39>> Yes.5:39>> So that's become a pattern that's 5:41familiar. Yeah.5:50>> I'm trying to gain from someone else by 5:52pleasing them, but there's something I'm 5:54not giving myself.5:56>> What is the thing most people try to 5:58gain from other people by trying to 6:00please them?6:01>> Approval. Approval. So, when you think 6:04about it, like people people that become 6:07people pleasers as kids were parent 6:10pleasers. Yes.6:12>> So the belief was that I must please mom 6:15and dad because if I please mom and dad,6:18they will be okay with me. And as a kid 6:21to get the approval of your parents 6:24feels like it's survival. It's like 6:26death to not have that. And what happens 6:29as a kid too is we internalize 6:31everything, right? So if mom and dad 6:33divorce or in an argument like as kids 6:37we there's something wrong with me. is 6:39shame. And that's really a lot of times 6:42what people pleasing is. It's like an 6:43avoidance of shame.6:45>> It's an avoidance of vulnerability. And 6:47it's being afraid to disappoint people.6:49>> Yes.6:50>> Big part of breaking these patterns 6:52though is getting on the other side of 6:55actually feeling what's coming up inside 6:57of your body, but not being afraid to 7:00embrace what I call the dark side.7:02>> What is the dark side?7:04>> The dark side of a people pleaser. Every 7:06every person you meet that's a people 7:08pleaser or that has that kind of or an 7:10overgiver, there's an certain untapped 7:14energy inside of them that if they were 7:16to tap into would completely transform 7:18their lives.7:19>> What is that?7:20>> That energy is being in contact with the 7:23stored anger and resentment underneath 7:25the surface. Normally what happens is 7:28that anger that you're afraid to share 7:30towards other people by expressing 7:32yourself becomes internalized. M 7:35>> so then you beat yourself up because you 7:36said yes when you really meant no. So 7:39there's this this part of us that gets 7:41repressed underneath the surface with 7:43anger. And the key is actually the thing 7:46that you avoid. If you can embrace it,7:48you will start to become more free. So 7:51if you think about it in the form of a 7:53people pleaser, if instead you let it be 7:56okay that you express yourself and 7:59someone feels tension, the tension they 8:02feel in their body is not your thing to 8:04manage.8:06>> You will feel tension inside of your 8:08body when you first start allowing other 8:10people to feel tension. And the key is 8:13to sit with it.8:14>> So hard for a people pleaser.8:16>> It is. It is because that here's why 8:19though. because their tension feels like 8:22your tension.8:23>> So as a kid,8:24>> you just want them to be okay. You want 8:26them to be okay.8:26>> Okay. You don't have to do that. Yeah.8:27>> And think about it like this. As a kid,8:29you were in your own energy field.8:31>> As a survival mechanism, you may have 8:34expanded your energy field to include 8:36mom and dad because now in order for you 8:39to feel safe, you need to ease the 8:41tension in them because their tension 8:43felt like your tension. So now as a 8:46survival mechanism people that are 8:48considered empaths or people pleasers 8:51they expand their energy field 8:53subconsciously to include their 8:54environment. So now if there is a form 8:58of expression that happens which may 9:01mean I don't want to go to that thing 9:03which may mean hey when you said this 9:06this is how I felt those things used to 9:08feel like I'm not allowed to express 9:10that.9:10>> Yes. But now when you express it, if 9:13somebody else has tension about it, your 9:15next level of growth is to let them be 9:18in the tension knowing that that also 9:21might be their growth, which is a thing 9:25some people don't aren't even aware of.9:26>> Yeah.9:27>> Because we think we think that easing 9:30someone else's tension by overgiving or 9:32overextending oursel is benefiting them 9:35when in fact it's enabling them. M.9:38>> So as we start bringing our energy back 9:41into our bodies, as we start letting 9:43them be with tension, what we are doing 9:46is that tension that we sit with by 9:49letting them be in tension becomes the 9:51initiation out of the peopleleasing 9:53pattern. And like when it comes to 9:56breaking any pattern, the first time you 9:58do something that's outside of your old 10:01identity as the people pleaser, which 10:04wasn't your identity, it was a pattern 10:06and a survival strategy. As you start to 10:09take action outside of that, it will 10:11feel unfamiliar.10:12>> Yes.10:13>> And what might also come is the dark 10:16side of this is you don't want to be 10:18seen as bad. Mhm.10:20>> You don't want to be seen as um you 10:23could it was bad as a kid to be uh 10:26authentic.10:27>> It was bad to have needs. It was bad to 10:30express anger. And guess what? If it was 10:33bad as a kid to express anger, then what 10:36happens is you repress a certain part of 10:39yourself and that anger then gets 10:41internalized. So then you have it under 10:44the surface and are angry at yourself.10:47So when you think of people pleasers,10:49they say, "I don't like anger." Here's 10:51the thing. People pleasers 10:53subconsciously love. They they are 10:55extremely comfortable with tension. They 10:58just keep it inside of their bodies.11:00>> So for a person to break the pattern of 11:02people pleasing, the key is recognizing 11:05that you're actually already comfortable 11:07with tension.11:08>> It's just it's 11:08>> just within you.11:09>> It's just within you. But the way out,11:11the way into freedom is actually being 11:14able to express yourself in an authentic 11:16way and then letting other people be 11:19with their tension knowing it's not your 11:22thing to manage. And if they see you as 11:24bad, that also becomes something that 11:27you can begin to accept that you're not 11:31bad because you express yourself. You're 11:34not bad because you let someone deal 11:36with their own energy of what they're 11:37feeling based on you being vulnerable or 11:39expressing how you feel. You then start 11:42to recognize that it's actually 11:45authentic.11:46>> And the thing for people pleasers that 11:48will completely shift the pattern is 11:50when you go from subconsciously you 11:53value approval and validation because 11:56you didn't receive it as a kid. So now 11:58as an adult, you have to give your inner 12:01child that same approval and validation.12:05And then 12:06>> and you may not get it from anyone else.12:07>> You may not. And and here's the funny 12:09thing though. When you allow yourself to 12:13express yourself and you actually let it 12:16be okay if people don't resonate with 12:19you, that's when you're actually free.12:22>> Like freedom is the ability to be 12:25disliked. What's so bad about being 12:28disliked? We think that if someone 12:30dislikes us, it means there's something 12:33wrong with us.12:34>> We think there's something that there's 12:36something that we need to change about 12:37ourselves. When in fact, someone else 12:40not liking you may have nothing to do 12:42with you. M 12:43>> and actually if you can let other people 12:46not like you, you are actually free 12:50because then you've given up the role of 12:53trying to change what other people think 12:55about you,12:56>> right?12:56>> And as you know, being on, you know,12:58like being in the limelight and stuff 13:00like that, like there's going to be 13:02people that love what you do, there's 13:03going to be people that don't like what 13:05you do and everything in between.13:07>> It's a burdenful job to believe it's 13:10your job to please everybody. Mhm.13:12>> But here's the thing also that people 13:14can recognize about this pattern is that 13:17the more authentic you are, the more you 13:20begin to respect yourself, it's like you 13:24then will notice that other people, even 13:27though they may not approve of you in 13:29the same way,13:30>> they'll respect you. M 13:32>> so would you rather give up approval and 13:35validation from other people because you 13:37approve of and validate yourself and in 13:40exchange then there is many times 13:42respect and you've probably had that 13:44experience before where you meet someone 13:46that even if you don't resonate with 13:48them or agree with them you respect that 13:50they express themselves authentically.13:52>> Sure. Yeah. You may not want to be 13:54friends with them but you respect okay 13:55this person's living their life the way 13:57they want to.13:58>> Yeah.13:58>> I guess the challenge is how does 13:59someone 14:01>> [sighs]14:02>> How does someone navigate? Okay, I don't 14:05want to be a people pleaser anymore. All 14:06right, I don't want to have the pattern 14:08of being a people pleaser anymore. Good 14:10job. [laughter]14:11>> But I also want people to not think that 14:14I'm, I [snorts] don't know, unethical or 14:18bad or doing something in the wrong way.14:21Like, is there a way to still do that?14:23Or is it just they're going to have 14:24their opinion on you no matter what you 14:26do, even if you say it with the most 14:28integrity and the most kindness, but 14:30people are going to have an opinion 14:32about whatever they want.14:34>> Yeah,14:34>> that's I guess that's a challenge 14:35because people are afraid of 14:37>> maybe not being disliked, but also what 14:40if they just completely misinterpret 14:42what I said or who I am?14:44>> Yeah.14:45>> And now I feel like I have to explain 14:46myself or overexlain so that they 14:49understand it.14:50>> Yeah. Yeah. And in the same way, that's 14:52like another vein of a similar energy of 14:55being able to be misunderstood by 14:57people. Because ultimately, if you know 15:00who you are and you're living by the 15:03values of integrity, of vulnerability,15:06of authenticity,15:08>> and when you express yourself when you 15:10normally thought it was bad, if that if 15:13it comes up from other people and they 15:14misunderstand you, it's recognizing that 15:17it's still it's still not your thing to 15:19manage 15:20>> because there'll be times that some 15:21people may misunderstand you. But part 15:24of that is when you stop being a people 15:28pleaser or you stop overgiving, there 15:30will be people in your life that are 15:33used to that version of you. So when you 15:35stop doing it, their patterns come up 15:38because something's changed in you and 15:41you were very convenient for them for a 15:43long time.15:43>> They're going to think you're a jerk.15:45>> They think you're a jerk.15:45>> Exactly. If you're not overgiving like 15:47you used to.15:48>> Yep. What's changed? Did I do something 15:50wrong? And you got to be aware sometimes 15:52that that could be their own uh version 15:54of trying to get you to go back, which 15:57is guilt. Guilt is they may be doing it 16:00consciously or subconsciously, but you 16:03have to be aware of your own energy 16:05around guilt. Letting yourself feel the 16:08guilt that comes up,16:09>> but recognizing that what guilt is as an 16:12emotion is guilt means I feel 16:15responsible.16:16So I feel responsible for how you feel 16:19>> for their feelings.16:20>> Exactly. So even then their 16:23misunderstanding right is if you're 16:26still still means living with an 16:28integrity of yourself and of your own 16:30expression but knowing that even that is 16:33not your thing to manage for somebody 16:35else. And 16:37>> it's so hard for a lot of people.16:38>> I'm sure it is. But that's that's the 16:40cost that's the cost of breaking the 16:42pattern and of authenticity. If someone 16:44is living in a state or a pattern of 16:47people pleasing and feeling guilty about 16:50how others feel about their actions or 16:53lack of actions,16:56>> how high of a frequency can they 16:59actually get to inside of themselves 17:01energetically if they're constantly 17:03living in a state of people pleasing and 17:05feeling guilty for someone else's 17:08feelings and emotions?17:09>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean that will block them 17:11from getting to a state of true 17:13authenticity.17:15>> And really what it is is when you are 17:18comfortable being you and realize people 17:22feel 17:24when you how you feel in your body when 17:26you express yourself other people pick 17:29up on that energy and that becomes 17:31something that people uh gravitate to.17:34Right? So, it's like energy that's 17:36magnetic and contagious is the most fun 17:39you can have,17:40>> the most present to the moment you are.17:42Yes.17:43>> And the most accepting you are of what 17:45you're feeling becomes a frequency and 17:49an energy that other people can tune to 17:52and match. And this is why you'll 17:55probably notice that the podcasts that 17:59do the best are probably the ones that 18:01you have the most fun recording.18:03>> Yes. or there's the there's the most 18:04fluid conversation or even there's more 18:07of a divine energy flowing through where 18:09it's not as much the egos, it's like 18:10this dance that's happening,18:12>> right? And so energy that's magnetic is 18:17energy that's present. And the challenge 18:19with people pleasing in some of these 18:21patterns is when there's unresolved 18:23stuff under the surface and there's an 18:26attachment to outcome of what other 18:28people feel that creates resistance.18:31>> And people then play off of that 18:34resistance and are responding to it. And 18:37if you feel lack around acceptance or 18:42you feel ra lack around validation and 18:44approval, what you're saying is that 18:46that lack and approval is not inside of 18:47myself or that approval and validation 18:49is not inside of myself. You have it.18:52>> I need it from you. Now, here's the 18:54thing. When you're around other people 18:57and you're thinking about them and you 18:59want something from them, think about it 19:02like you are energetically sending them 19:04energy. You're sending them energy. And 19:06as you send them energy, it feels like a 19:08bombardment of energy. It feels 19:10intrusive 19:11>> from you. It feels that way. Or 19:12>> it feels it feels like if I really 19:14wanted something from you right now 19:16>> and I was really craving it and I wasn't 19:18telling you about it, you would feel it.19:20And you there' be a part of you that 19:21would feel you would resist it 19:23subconsciously.19:25>> And when you bring the energy back into 19:26your body and I'm not attached whether 19:28you whatever you do, you'll feel more 19:31freedom.19:32>> And that's when people can actually be 19:34chosen by other people. M 19:35>> that's when people can actually have 19:37that energy come to them. It's when when 19:39they bring their energy back 19:41>> and the way in which there it's this 19:43simple technique that I found that has 19:44completely transformed my life and thou 19:47like I have YouTube video on it and 19:49thousands of people even when I meet 19:51people that you know recognize me from 19:52my videos they that that technique is so 19:54powerful. It's very simple.19:56>> What is this technique and and what does 19:58it do?19:59>> So it's called the frame technique. The 20:01frame technique has to do with feeling 20:03safe inside of your body. And it has to 20:05do with this idea of either sending 20:08energy out or feeling safe inside of 20:10yourself. The way I found out about this 20:13was actually years ago I went to this 20:16transformation place in Costa Rica and I 20:19get there and there's this consciousness 20:21teacher there and she's teaching about 20:23energy and she did this simple exercise 20:25that I'll never forget. She had she 20:27stood at the front of the room and she 20:29said, "Now everyone in the crowd, I want 20:31you guys to send me energy. Send me 20:33energy. send me loving positive energy.20:36Any energy you want, just project energy 20:38at me. So even if you say it's good 20:40energy, I'm I'm going to send them good 20:42energy so they think about me, right?20:43Everyone would send her energy in the 20:45crowd. And she said it it it feels like 20:48a bombardment of energy. It makes me 20:49back up. So then she said, "Now I want 20:53everyone to bring the energy back into 20:54your body. Bring the energy back into 20:56your body. Bring the energy back into 20:57your body." And as people did that, she 21:00said, "Now it's a magnetic effect. I 21:02feel drawn towards the crowd.21:04>> You're pulling me towards you closer 21:06>> by you being more present to your body 21:07in your body.21:08>> Interesting. What What does that look 21:09like to draw energy into your body 21:12versus sending energy towards someone 21:14else?21:15>> It's actually the opposite. It has the 21:18opposite effect of what people think 21:20that it does because what you actually 21:23do is you kind of solve the challenge as 21:26a kid of what you did when you expanded 21:28your field to include everyone else's.21:30And now you're sending energy. You 21:32actually feel the separation between you 21:35and someone else 21:36>> when you draw it back.21:37>> Yes. Like you you do it's the frame 21:39technique is a very simple exercise 21:41where what you do is you stare at a 21:43candle flame about eye about a couple 21:45feet in front of you but eye distance um 21:48eye level. And what you do is on the inb 21:50breath you focus on the separation 21:53between you and the flame and that 21:56represents self. Okay. So in reality 21:58there's self and other. And what happens 22:01is you think about it like the movie The 22:02Matrix. Self and other like zeros and 22:05ones, right? What happens is people who 22:08didn't feel safe as a kid, they only see 22:12more of other around, but they think 22:14it's their job to manage the emotion. So 22:17it's like that's an extension of them.22:19>> So it's kind of like making sure 22:20everyone everyone's okay and people 22:23pleasing and checking in. What do you 22:24need from me? How can I be of support?22:26Whatever. Yep. But not from a lens of 22:28service and self, but more of a lens of 22:31I need everyone to feel good so I feel 22:32good.22:33>> Yes.22:34>> Yeah. It's a subconscious thing. Um and 22:37and what happens though is as you so you 22:39focus on this the diff the space between 22:42you 22:42>> and the flame on the inb breath you 22:45focus on the space between you and the 22:47flame.22:48>> On the outreath what you do is you still 22:50keep your eyes focused on the flame.22:52Eyes that wanders a mind that wanders.22:55And with your eyes focused on the flame,22:57you then focus on the peripheral and 22:59that represents other.23:01>> So it's self space on on the first inb 23:05breath and then on the outreath you 23:07focus on other but your eyes are still 23:09focused on the flame. And what this does 23:12is it allows you to start to feel more 23:14safe inside of your body. And you'll 23:16find that then when you go out and you 23:19meet other people, you find yourself 23:21less tuning to them wondering how 23:24they're feeling. So, and who do I need 23:26to be?23:27>> This doesn't mean, by the way, that 23:29you're not connected to other people in 23:30your life.23:31>> Like, it doesn't mean you're not still 23:33you can you can do this in regards to 23:35loved ones that you might take on more 23:37of their energy and you just want to 23:38like energetically feel safe inside of 23:40your body. You can still love them, but 23:42this allows you to separate your energy 23:45from other people's when you've been 23:47taking on their energy.23:48>> Wow. So, if someone listening or 23:49watching feels identifies themselves as 23:52an empath.23:53>> Yeah.23:54>> And I feel the energy of every person 23:56around me and I feel people and animals 23:58and you know, anyone who's feeling 24:00something, I feel it and it 24:02>> and it kind of becomes me. Their joy,24:04their sadness, I take it on.24:06>> Yeah. what technique or strategy can 24:08they use if it's this or something else 24:11to create kind of like a you know a safe 24:14space around them while interacting with 24:17someone h that has a range of emotions.24:19>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's the the frame 24:22technique is such a powerful thing where 24:25when you begin to feel the separation 24:28and the space between you and other 24:30people, you allow yourself to then 24:33create safety inside of yourself. So,24:36give me an example. If you walked in 24:37here and I just said like, "I'm having 24:39the worst day ever and everything's 24:40wrong and I'm breaking down and I'm like 24:42crying all over the place 24:44>> and I'm like throwing this on top of 24:46you, right?"24:47>> Yeah.24:47>> How would you in that moment use this 24:50frame technique? Like, what would you do 24:52inside of you while also being present 24:54to what my experience is 24:57>> and not detach yourself from the person 24:59in front of you?25:00>> Yeah.25:01and show that you're a caring, present 25:03human, but also not letting it be like,25:05"Oh man, I'm exhausted from this 25:07interaction."25:08>> Yeah. Yeah. The the difference is in the 25:11way in which I relate to you 25:13>> and whether I think or feel that your 25:16pain of what you're going through is my 25:19job to manage by fixing you.25:22>> Because that's where codependency stems 25:24from. Codependency stems from like the 25:26rescuer dynamic. I'm going to rescue 25:29Lewis because if I rescue you, you 25:32you're going to like me more, want to be 25:34around me more or something like that.25:36So, the frame technique is being able to 25:40still feel the space between us, but 25:43also allow myself to feel present inside 25:46of my body to feel present, be like 25:50present with you. Healing happens in the 25:53presence of an empathetic witness. M 25:56>> so to be an empathetic witness is 25:58different than me trying to fix you.26:01>> Right?26:02>> Part of the thing that really would help 26:04people to understand how to really be 26:06there more for people is that when you 26:09see people as broken and needing to be 26:12fixed, you are doing them a disservice 26:16in the sense that it is an identity that 26:19you're in a way projecting onto them.26:21It's an expectation that you're 26:23projecting onto them that you think they 26:25>> and a judgment in a way, like a label in 26:27a way. So if instead of seeing them as 26:31broken and needing to be fixed, you can 26:33acknowledge that they may be feeling a 26:36certain emotion, but you also understand 26:38that they're extraordinarily resourceful 26:40and powerful beings even if they're not 26:42in the moment aware of it. So the 26:45presence you bring, the energetic 26:47alignment and balance that you bring to 26:50yourself 26:51>> becomes the healing mechanism for the 26:53other person.26:54>> So if I was in, if I came into this room 26:56and you were like, "Oh my god, I'm 26:58feeling all these emotions and blah blah 27:00blah blah." And you looked up at me and 27:02I'm like, "Louis, are you okay? Anything 27:04I can do different for you? Like what do 27:06you you would would you feel safe?"27:08>> No.27:08>> No. But if you were feeling that way and 27:10I was like, "Oh, wow." and I was like 27:12present with you 27:13>> and I slowed it down for you 27:16>> and I asked you some questions that kind 27:18of got you more at to the root or or got 27:21you into reflecting things in a 27:23different way,27:24>> it might be a different energy.27:26>> Yes.27:26>> Right. So the thing is we heal through 27:30nervous systems.27:32>> Mhm. So when you when I am in a calm 27:35regulated nervous system and I'm 27:37coaching someone else whether it's at a 27:40live event or whatever my ability to be 27:43present with that person and my ability 27:46to be balanced inside of myself even in 27:49the midst of them expressing their life 27:52challenges or what they're dealing with.27:54The thing that really helps me that 27:57really helps them heal is that just 28:00being an energetic 28:02mirror to balance 28:05>> and understanding that they have the 28:07answers inside of themselves.28:08>> Yes.28:09>> And that's a huge part of the process.28:12It's we assume a lot of times because of 28:15how we've been conditioned that answers 28:16are outside of ourselves. And therefore 28:19we look for it in other people or we 28:21look for it in content or we look for it 28:24in another YouTube video or another 28:26book. And a lot of times what happens is 28:29there's a feeling there that I am not 28:32already whole and complete the way that 28:34I am. Mhm.28:35>> So that shame, that emotion then becomes 28:39the driving force towards trying to heal 28:41more, which creates a shadow side 28:44because you're robbing yourself of the 28:45present moment right now being whole and 28:47complete.28:48>> Mhm.28:49>> So when we talk about this energy of 28:52anything really, the things I've learned 28:55in the last couple years have been 28:58very powerful transformations in my life 29:01have been around just understanding the 29:03energy. When I am in an energy where I'm 29:06having fun and there's passion or the 29:08divine flowing through, there's a 29:10magnetic frequency there. When other 29:12people are expressing their challenges 29:14to me and I'm balanced inside of myself,29:17witnessing them even in their challenges 29:20and being present with them and asking 29:23questions that bring their own answers,29:25it's extremely powerful and 29:27transformative. If I try to give people 29:29the answers that they're asking that the 29:33answers are then in me and not them.29:35>> And the truth is the we're in an era on 29:38the planet now where people are becoming 29:41more empowered to understand that the 29:44answers are within them. Not some guru,29:47not some spiritual teacher. The answers 29:50are inside all of us. And the questions 29:54that that get asked are the ones that 29:56will reveal the answers to the people.29:59>> Yes.29:59>> And it's from it's just that we've been 30:01conditioned to believe and look outside 30:03of ourselves for the answer. And because 30:05we believe that we look for it 30:08>> and we never think it's here now.30:10>> So we're always looking. We're always 30:12trying to get somewhere else.30:13>> Yes. And the the joke of the whole thing 30:16is that in the present moment right now,30:18if we can accept this moment 100%. Have 30:22more fun and recognize that like that 30:25it's it's more of an energetic thing 30:28than it is a figuring out from the mind 30:30egoic thing. It's like from that energy 30:32state comes the answers and it comes the 30:37alignment and it comes the recip the the 30:39reciprocal relationships etc.30:42You've been doing this work for over a 30:44decade now.30:46>> Yeah.30:46>> But you said three years ago you just 30:49started to have this awakening around 30:51the tendency or pattern of people 30:53pleasing.30:54>> Yeah.30:55>> And 30:56starting to transition away from that.30:59>> Yeah.31:00>> What was the wakeup call for you that 31:01allowed you to say, "Oh, I'm still in 31:04this state."31:05>> Yeah. people pleasing in some way or I'm 31:07still not free because I'm trying to get 31:09be liked or whatever it is.31:12>> Like what was that aha moment for you 31:13where you said enough is enough. I'm not 31:15going to live like this anymore and 31:18>> and then what has it been like on the 31:20other side? Has it been easy in breaking 31:22that pattern or has it been like 31:24>> oh this doesn't feel good when you 31:26create a barrier or boundary with people 31:28and they don't like it.31:30>> Yeah.31:30>> Yeah. What's that what has that journey 31:32been like for you? So, it's interesting.31:34Like many people, I think a lot of 31:37people I think are aware of some of 31:38their patterns. And I was aware of this 31:40pattern for years. It was just something 31:43that I was aware of, but I'm like, how 31:45do I shift it?31:46>> Right?31:46>> What do I do? Tell me what to do so I 31:49can shift the pattern. And I kind of 31:51knew what to do, but also it's like it 31:52felt like subconsciously it was still 31:54under the surface. So, for me, what I'm 31:57thinking of is 3 or 4 years ago was 32:00where I really started to shed it. in 32:02the sense that I recognized that my 32:05biggest block was that one question I 32:07mentioned earlier. Who did I have to be 32:10as a kid to receive mom and dad's love?32:13>> Who was that?32:14>> And who for me it was somebody that was 32:16very accommodating,32:18somebody that was very tolerant,32:20somebody that wasn't allowed to have 32:22their own needs. Um the other side of 32:25the peopleleasing thing was a very 32:27self-reliant thing where I would just do 32:29everything myself, not need anybody 32:32else. Hyperindependent 32:34on one hand wanting intimacy or 32:36connection but on the other hand pushing 32:38it away at times because it felt 32:40something about it felt not safe.32:42>> So there was this like awareness of 32:44these patterns. And for me, part of it 32:48was as I started to become more and more 32:50successful with my YouTube channel and 32:52what I'm doing in the world, I started 32:54to create a lot more alignment in my 32:56inside of myself. But also, there was 32:59this belief subconsciously that if I 33:02were to become like this level of 33:03success, then I would feel different,33:06right? Like when I got [snorts] the 33:08YouTube plaque for a million 33:09subscribers,33:10>> like now I've made it.33:12>> Now I've made it, you And I I I remember 33:14when I first got the first 100,000, I 33:16was like, "It's going to feel amazing."33:18And then it happened. I'm like, "Okay,33:19what about 200?" You know, then it just 33:22And what I recognized in myself was a 33:26deep reflection that a majority of my 33:30audience is women. And part of that 33:32could be just because of the spiritual 33:34spiritual stuff that I talk about,33:36right? And energy and relationship 33:37stuff. Yeah. The other side of it though 33:40is I feel like the more I went into the 33:42mother, father, child dynamic, which is 33:44the most powerful level of work that I 33:47found for really healing at a deep 33:49pattern level.33:50>> This was the work that you were doing 33:51for yourself or teaching online.33:53>> I was doing for myself and just sharing 33:55what I was learning online about it. Um 33:58but I what I recognized in myself was 34:00that around that mother father child 34:03dynamic I was in a way projecting onto 34:06my audience 34:07that wanting to fix pattern was 34:11something that I had initially from mom 34:13as a kid. So for anybody that's watching 34:16this right now, if you were to take from 34:180 to 5 years old and you were even if 34:21you don't remember your childhood, you 34:24were to begin to kind of map out what 34:26may have been happening in the household 34:28between 0 to 5 years old, you'd find a 34:30lot of golden nuggets.34:32>> 0 to 5 is where we create the imprint of 34:35our subconscious. We're primarily in a 34:37theta state and we are interpreting who 34:41we are. We are like forming the basis 34:44for who we are and how we relate to self 34:46and other. So for me this stemmed 34:49because I got a session with a a man 34:52named Dr. Mark Woollm who wrote the book 34:54it didn't start with you which is all 34:55about inherited family trauma 34:57>> and I had this session with him two days 34:59before I ran a live event and I got all 35:01this really interesting information and 35:04what was interesting is on the call the 35:06only thing he cared about was from 0 to 35:085 years old. I'm like, "Well, I had an 35:09ex-stepmom that came in my life and I 35:11had no freedom from 9 to 17." He's like,35:13"Yeah, we don't need to focus on that."35:15So, from zero to five years old. What I 35:17recognized inside of myself is around 2 35:20or 3 years old. Around 1 or 2 years old,35:23my mom, her dad died. My mom had like 35:26trauma with her dad and she ran away 35:28when she was younger. But when her dad 35:30died, she lost a lot of weight and she 35:33wasn't sleeping at night. I found this 35:34out afterwards by asking family members 35:36and friends. probably wasn't present 35:37with you or 35:38>> she wasn't present but she couldn't she 35:39was doing the best she could but because 35:41of that I'm like oh well if I imagine as 35:44one or two years old looking up at a mom 35:46that was like 35:47>> depressed stressed shrinking 35:50>> physically emotionally 35:51>> exactly yeah like what would would I 35:54have felt that that presence was there 35:56like what would I have been interpreting 35:58about myself and what I then looked at 36:01from 0 to 5 was around 3 years old my 36:04brother was born and my younger other he 36:06had asthma so he was in the doctors a 36:09lot he got a lot of attention naturally 36:11because he needed it because he was sick 36:13and the attention really switched to him 36:16so I imagine that as a three-year-old as 36:19an adult I understand like oh I didn't 36:21the little version of me like it's your 36:22brother needs it but I've always felt 36:24like afraid of stealing the limelight 36:27for my brother cuz he kind of needed it 36:29cuz he got it so much when he was a kid 36:31um when I was 3 years old that's when he 36:33was born and like where did the 36:35awareness and the the the energy go and 36:37then around four or five my parents 36:40divorced when I was five. So you you 36:43would think that okay around four or 36:44five that's when things probably started 36:46going south and then at five the divorce 36:49happened. So just that information right 36:51there, who I had to be was somebody that 36:55didn't have needs, somebody that was 36:58also trying to like please mom, like you 37:01know, I think there was a certain level 37:03of like sadness almost that I had 37:05trouble connecting to as an adult. Part 37:07of which is like I was so you I would 37:09attract women that kind of would reflect 37:11that energy back. Um, but there was 37:14definitely an energy of feeling like I 37:16had to fix and having high tolerance.37:19And what I became aware of 37:21>> enduring 37:22>> and enduring. Exactly. And what I became 37:24aware of 3 years four years ago was that 37:28in a interesting way I was playing that 37:30pattern out with even part of my 37:32audience. It's like there was a part a 37:35subconscious part of me that felt like I 37:37was trying to fix people and it was kind 37:40of creating a certain relationship with 37:43the kind of work that I was doing where 37:45I had to relate to myself and realize 37:47that trying to get the approval or 37:50validation or to fix them was my 37:53unresolved family stuff as a kid that I 37:56was reflecting onto my work in the 37:58world. So that was where I looked even 38:01deeper at the mother, father, child 38:03dynamic and that's where I became aware 38:07of a lot of these patterns and in a way 38:10had to heal that inner child part of 38:13myself that felt that way.38:17>> What did the process of healing your 38:19inner child 38:21look like and what was that experience 38:23like?38:24>> Yeah, it was really it was a very 38:25powerful experience. Um, one thing that 38:28I did for it, I did a few things. Um,38:32one of them was a conversation I 38:35actually had with my best friend when we 38:37were doing some deep inner reflection on 38:39this. And there was a realization that 38:41the the woman that I would attract into 38:43my life that I'd date, there was a lot 38:46of times a certain level of pressure 38:47that I would put for it to like work out 38:49in a certain way. And I could tell that 38:52it was almost like wanting it to work 38:55out was my way of avoiding the shame 38:59that there was something wrong with me.39:02So it was a moment where I realized that 39:04it wasn't my fault if it didn't work out 39:07in certain relationships.39:09>> Yeah. That just didn't work out. You 39:10didn't align, didn't have the same 39:11values or whatever, right? Or 39:13>> Yeah. And it wasn't my fault as a kid 39:16that mom's dad died. So that was the 39:19deeper route. The most powerful thing I 39:21did though is something called family 39:23constellation therapy. Have you ever 39:25heard of this?39:26>> Tell me.39:27>> Okay, this is going to sound out there 39:28for some of the people that hear this 39:30for the first time, but it is very 39:31powerful.39:32>> This is like family tree stuff and like 39:34>> kind of it's it's I I I had some 39:37recommendations from people that you 39:38have to try this family constellation 39:40thing and I was like resistant to it for 39:42like a year and then finally I was like,39:44"Okay, let me do this." And it's a 39:46German process and the idea is that 39:50within your energy field is the patterns 39:54and the energy dynamics stored from your 39:56family line. So what 39:58>> generational traumas 39:59>> exactly? So what I did is I went to this 40:02family constellation therapy session 40:04that include that includes a group of 40:06people 40:07>> where they know nothing about you and I 40:10specifically chose someone that like 40:11nobody there knew who I was. They knew 40:13nothing about me and they were like they 40:16were people that basically were going to 40:20act out the family dynamics 40:23>> in my family line without knowing 40:25anything about me or and only knowing 40:28just the name of who that person was to 40:30me. So what happened is I do this family 40:32consolation therapy. I go over to this 40:34woman's house and there's five people 40:36there that volunteered to be a part of 40:37it to like help me, you know, basically 40:39become aware of this. And there's one 40:42person there um that played my mom.40:45There's one person there that played my 40:46mom's mom. There's one person there that 40:48played my mom's dad. And there's one 40:50person there that was a 70-year-old man 40:51that played me.40:53>> And they knew nothing about my family 40:55line. I know about my family, but like 40:57you know, like I know some stuff cuz I 40:59never really met my mom's mom and my 41:00mom's dad. I just know my mom ran away.41:02>> They know nothing about it.41:03>> They know nothing.41:03>> So are they coming up with scenarios and 41:05you're watching or you're 41:07>> I'm watching. I'm I think generally 41:09people are a part of it,41:10>> but you're watching.41:11>> I'm watching.41:12>> You're observing your family and putting 41:14yourself in the state that this is my 41:16>> parents and grandparents. Yep.41:18>> Living their life.41:19>> Yeah.41:20>> And I'm an observer.41:22>> They're just they basically what happens 41:23is this woman, she was the last one to 41:26get there. And what was interesting is 41:27she looked very similar to my mom 41:30>> because my mom my mom passed away a few 41:32years ago.41:32>> Oh. Right. To the heart.41:33>> Yeah. And this woman that showed up 41:35looked looked and reminded me of my mom.41:36So it was it was already kind of like a 41:37thing was like oh and she was one of the 41:39most experienced people that was a part 41:41of this. Apparently these people they 41:42love to be of service of this kind of 41:44work.41:44>> It's kind of like are they kind of like 41:46actors in a sense 41:48>> kind of it's it's kind of like they pick 41:50up on the energy through the intention.41:52>> Yes.41:52>> And it sounds very esoteric but it's 41:55it's crazy what comes through.41:56>> It's powerful. Yeah.41:57>> So what happened was this woman this one 42:00woman plays my mom. This other two 42:03people my mom and my dad. And then 42:05someone played me and the person that 42:07plays my mom, she goes and gets into 42:09state and she's just like seeing what 42:11comes up for her and she gets in and she 42:13starts like kind of going inwards and it 42:15was like almost like I I've seen that 42:17look on her face before.42:19>> Your mom?42:19>> Yeah. This person playing my mom. And 42:22she then got into a state where she was 42:23going inwards really thinking and she 42:25was kind of in her own in her own world.42:28And then what happened is the man that 42:30was a 70-year-old guy that was playing 42:32me, he comes over and he pulls on my 42:35mom's dress and she like looks but then 42:38she's just like in her process 42:40continuing to go inwards. So then that 42:43person playing me kind of walks around 42:44for a minute and then she goes and does 42:46it again. And mom's still in her 42:48process. So then what 42:50>> he's not engaging with you.42:52>> Yeah.42:52>> Yeah.42:52>> Yeah. And then and then what he did is 42:54he went the the seven-year-old guy that 42:56was playing me, he went and just started 42:58playing with some stuff that was on the 43:00coffee table.43:01>> Yeah.43:01>> Entertaining himself sometime.43:03>> Entertaining himself. Exactly. And what 43:05then happened is the mom's mom and mom's 43:08dad, what was interesting there is there 43:10was a certain type of trauma that was in 43:12my in my mom's life that was like a 43:14block between her and her dad. And it 43:17was something that my mom's mom kind of 43:20allowed to happen. And it was like this 43:23this scenario where that kind of played 43:25out in a way and my mom the person 43:28playing my mom put like a blanket 43:30between them the the practitioner did 43:32the facilitator did and that allowed my 43:34mom to feel more safe. But I'm 43:36witnessing it. But the powerful part of 43:39all of this was I was able to learn more 43:41about my patterns. And one of those 43:43patterns was that I had this pattern of 43:46overwork.43:47>> Mhm. And part of the connection was 43:49because after this scenario, long story 43:51short, I learned more about certain 43:53patterns. Um, the gentleman that played 43:56me said that one of the things he felt 43:58was he felt like, "Screw it. If I'm not 44:01going to get mom's attention, I'm just 44:03going to be very busy." And I've had for 44:06for years I had this pattern of just 44:08overwork, just always being busy. And 44:11why focus on love or all of this other 44:13stuff when you could just be busy and 44:15that's more fun, right? like you don't 44:17need anybody else. That's the 44:18hyperindependent self-reliant part of 44:20me. And the other part of it though, so 44:24that was a part of the pattern that I 44:25became aware of. Um 44:28>> I think there was another healing that 44:29happened as well where I recognized that 44:31between my mom and my dad, you know,44:33having the stepmom in my life from 9 to 44:3717 where my brother and I weren't 44:39allowed to really have friends, weren't 44:41allowed to go to We had to earn going to 44:43school activities. We uh 44:45>> from the stepmom.44:46>> From the stepmom. Yeah, she had the 44:47power from then.44:48>> Was your mom not in the picture at all?44:50>> She wasn't allowed to be really because 44:51we'd get in trouble anytime we came 44:52back.44:52>> So, you couldn't see her that much,44:54right?44:54>> We didn't see her at all until I was 15 44:56and my 16 when my dad divorced her.44:58>> Wow. So,44:58>> Oh, divorced stepmom.45:00>> Yes. So, my dad divorced.45:01>> You didn't see your mom for like five,45:03six years?45:04>> Nope.45:04>> Yeah. Apparently, it was it was weird.45:06>> Was she in the same city or did she move 45:07or?45:08>> No, my mom was here. She tried, but we 45:11anytime we'd go over to our mom's house,45:12we'd come back and we'd get in so much 45:14trouble that eventually it wasn't worth 45:16it. So, we didn't have a relationship 45:18with my real mom until I was 16, 17 45:21years old. The divorce happened,45:22>> which was of course hard, you know, but 45:24there there was a definitely an energy 45:26there where I was like, why did my dad 45:29allow my exepmom to have so much power,45:31right?45:32>> He he was a people pleaser. He didn't 45:34have he didn't have a boundary. He 45:35didn't know how to he didn't know how to 45:36be authentic and say what he really 45:38wanted. She had some type of spell on 45:40him, whether it be sexually or 45:42chemically or whatever, right? Like 45:44>> Yeah. And and the 45:45>> he was trying to survive. He was trying 45:46to feel love and get through his 45:48emotions probably.45:49>> Yep. Yeah. That was all a part of it.45:51And the healing for me was seeing that 45:53in this family constellation dynamic.45:55The thing that was said between my mom's 45:58mom and my mom's dad, the reason my 45:59mom's mom allowed it to happen because 46:02was because it kept the family together.46:04>> Gosh, man. And that was very hard to 46:07see. But then I recognized that like oh 46:10my dad was just trying to keep the 46:11family together even though there was 46:13pain and like you know and all of that.46:16>> Man so many people it's tough because 46:20I'm not a proponent for like just get 46:22divorced if something is hard, right?46:24It's like all right you're 46:25>> there's a challenge in your life like 46:27get divorced and that's solve it.46:29>> I don't think that's it. But also my 46:30parents were 46:32>> it, you know, the memories that I have 46:34are more that they were not happy than 46:36they were happy, right? And and there 46:38was more dark times than there were 46:40positive. It doesn't mean there weren't 46:41also positive times, but 46:43>> all I remember thinking about is I wish 46:44they were divorced.46:45>> Yeah.46:45>> Constantly like 46:47>> they should have got divorced years ago.46:48It was just like this feeling like uh it 46:50doesn't feel emotionally safe.46:52>> Yeah. They didn't have the tools also,46:54but and when they finally got divorced,46:56I was 16 and it was like 46:58>> there was a sense of relief, but also 47:00like resentment that they didn't do it 47:01sooner. So, I kind of like hated them 47:03both for a while.47:04>> Mad at both of them. I was like, why'47:06you guys put us through all this crap 47:08>> trying to keep it together 47:09>> when we're all messed up now, you know 47:11what I mean? It's like 47:12>> It's funny how Yeah. either side because 47:13I I used to 47:14>> can't win either way, right?47:15>> Yeah. I think I think for myself I felt 47:18growing up I had some friends that like 47:20had their same mom, same dad like 47:21together and I'd always feel a little 47:23bit like jealous of that.47:25>> And then I remember talking to certain 47:27friends and they're like trust me 47:28>> it's not that great. Yeah. Sometimes 47:29it's not, you know, sometimes it is. But 47:31it was like it's interesting cuz either 47:33side you can see people can have like a 47:35trauma from that because either 47:37>> they the divorce caused trauma or 47:40parents staying together caused trauma,47:42you know, like either way were learning 47:45and learning to heal the unresolved 47:47stuff inside of oursel.47:48>> Yes. Wow. So that those experiences of 47:51you healing your child were an awakening 47:53for you.47:54>> Yeah. So, the the the final part I'll 47:56share with that family constellation 47:57thing that I'll kind of put a cherry on 47:59top of it was what I did at the very end 48:02of that is she had me do something that 48:04like I it was kind of cheesy to do, but 48:07the woman that was playing my mom, I 48:09like 48:10>> embraced 48:11>> kind of like I laid on her almost like 48:13lap like on this floor. It was this kind 48:15of like on the outside looking in. It 48:17was really cheesy to see 48:18>> but in that moment it was like there was 48:21there was like cry. It was almost like 48:24connecting to an energy again of really 48:26being nurtured. She was like 48:27>> rubbing my hair and stuff.48:29>> Um, and it looks so cheesy from the 48:31outside looking in, but in the 48:32experience of it, there was like this 48:34sharp pain in my heart.48:37>> Even though it was like an 48:38unconditionally loving experience, I 48:41recognized that that sharp pain in my 48:43heart was like the fear to be 48:45unconditionally loved.48:48>> Because pain came with that in some way 48:50as a kid.48:51>> Wow. So, had you never felt 48:53unconditionally loved?48:54>> I I'd felt I think that at times when 48:58that feeling would start to come up,49:00it's like it would kind of get put to 49:01the side or something like that. Like I 49:04I'd feel like even in my life at that 49:06moment, like I I loved my life. I was 49:08doing what I love for a living. I had 49:10positive relationships in my life, but 49:12there was a certain level of surrender 49:14that I never allowed myself to really 49:16get to.49:17>> You did in that moment.49:18>> Yeah.49:18>> You surrendered then. And and I'll say 49:21one other thing that this led to later 49:23that is the power of breath work was 49:26that years later I got certified in a 49:28breath work process. And in a breath 49:30work ceremony where I was I was getting 49:33certified there was a uh woman that was 49:37in front of me that was that was 49:39basically releasing. And in that moment 49:43it was like my my trauma up until that 49:45moment was that I had trouble accessing 49:47sadness and crying. So, like I have a my 49:50best friend, he like can cry on a dime.49:52He's got kids. And I'm like, I wish I 49:53could cry that easily, you know? And I'm 49:55like I I feel like I only cry on certain 49:57movies. Like it was this thing where I'd 49:58recognize that like it was harder 50:00emotion for me to tap into. And in this 50:03breath work ceremony that I had to go 50:05through a few times to get certified in 50:07before I I learned how to do the 50:08process, I start releasing on one of the 50:10breath like the the rounds of breath 50:12work. And someone comes over to me and 50:15they say, one of the practitioners says 50:17it's okay to feel. said it's okay to 50:19feel dog 50:19>> and then you were like 50:21>> and then and then I started to and then 50:23I start hyperventilating and it's like 50:25it's almost like I'm crying but there 50:27are no tears 50:28>> and then I was like more shame cuz I'm 50:30like 50:31>> why can't I release this? What's wrong 50:32with me?50:33>> Yeah. So then I'm like beating myself 50:35up. But then what happens is that woman 50:37that was diagonally in front of me, she 50:40starts to release a scream that I knew 50:44was connected to the same type of trauma 50:46that my my mom had. And in that moment,50:49I could feel the connection to my mom.50:51My mom was alive at the time that I did 50:53this. Um, I could feel the connection to 50:55my mom. And then it just I just started 50:59balling. There were tears in my ears cuz 51:02lying on the floor there. It was like I 51:04was drenched.51:05>> Wow.51:06>> And in that moment, there was a whole 51:08new level of emotional availability that 51:10came at my that came up 51:12>> and it was like my whole life 51:14transformed.51:15>> Wow. I was in a relationship at the 51:17time. That relationship actually ended 51:20because of some things that happened,51:21but it happened like literally within a 51:23day of this happening. It was an out of 51:25alignment relationship.51:26>> It became clear. You're like, I'm not 51:28meant to force this anymore.51:29>> Yep. And and now and now I was more 51:32emotionally present. I was more in tune 51:34with my emotions. But the the lesson of 51:36it is that energy, that trauma wasn't 51:40even something I understood. And it may 51:42have not even been my own. M 51:44>> it was connected it may have been 51:46connected to a certain type of trauma 51:47that my mom had and through and that's 51:50why bottomup approaches are so powerful 51:52with healing something like breath work 51:54because you don't have to understand the 51:57pattern and the intellect and all of 51:59this stuff. You can just feel it release 52:03it 52:03>> and then you feel lighter 52:05>> and then you you you carry yourself a 52:07different way because now there's not 52:09that unresolved trauma and energy inside 52:12of your body. there's not as much a need 52:14to attract people into your life to 52:16replay that dynamic to heal it. Because 52:18the truth is we attract people into our 52:21life that are helping us play out the 52:24unresolved childhood energy.52:26>> So if as a kid you never were encouraged 52:29to be an individual in your own power,52:32you will probably give your power away 52:34and attract people into your life that 52:36have strong frames of reality. They are 52:38trying to subconsciously get you to take 52:40your power back and that is trying to 52:44resolve itself inside of you. So when 52:46people attract a narcissistic person or 52:48a controlling person, it's like, well,52:50what is that person teaching you? Are 52:52they teaching you to say no and stand up 52:54for yourself?52:55>> Are they teaching you that it's not your 52:57job to fix them?52:58>> Are they teaching you that it's okay to 53:00be in your own frame? And even though 53:02they're really hard to please, maybe 53:04it's just helping you to say no.53:05>> Yeah. So it's like there's always some 53:08energy to learn from the the people that 53:11we surround ourselves with in our life.53:13And the key is also taking the story 53:16back from it's them because a lot of 53:18times empaths or people that attract 53:20narcissists it's it they get stuck in 53:22the story like I am an empath and I feel 53:25people's emotions and they are 53:27controlling narcissistic vampires. But 53:29that that not that that might not be 53:32true. But the key is like okay but that 53:35story why might it might give you 53:37payoffs that justify childhood. It'll 53:39keep you stuck unless you actually do 53:42something about it.53:44>> That might mean seeing hearing soothing 53:46nurture the inner child part of you that 53:49is trying to get validation and approval 53:51from that person 53:52>> and give it to yourself first 53:53>> and give it to yourself. And that might 53:54mean standing up for yourself and 53:56developing a new relationship to 53:57tension. Ooh.53:59>> So, you're the the the narcissistic 54:01controlling person is in your life to 54:02help you learn how to stand inside of 54:05yourself and to not need to engage with 54:08that energy. And that's a perfect mirror 54:11for someone that's learning you for 54:13someone that's help you to learn how to 54:14stand up for yourself. Now, it doesn't 54:15mean you need to stay in it, right? and 54:16to stay in some abusive relationship by 54:18any means, but to take ownership of the 54:21pattern and recognize that when there's 54:23red flags there, there's something that 54:25normally the healthy part of you would 54:27see that would say no, but you see it 54:30and you tolerate it. And the reason you 54:32might tolerate it is because it feels 54:34familiar in childhood and subconsciously 54:37you're hoping to get something from it 54:39that can close the loop from childhood.54:40>> You're hoping to fix it or something 54:42else, right?54:43>> Fix it. you're the only it's also 54:44codependency sometimes cuz who else is 54:46going to be so present for the 54:48narcissistic controlling person you know 54:50so like they'll need you 54:52>> and it just that that pattern just might 54:54feel familiar 54:55>> Dr. Terrace Wart has said on the show 54:57that we attract people based on the 54:59psychological wound that we had that 55:02childhood. Yeah. Kind of said something 55:03similar there.55:04>> 100%. I agree with that.55:06>> Who do we start to attract in our life 55:08once we remember that we are whole and 55:11complete and heal the wounds of our 55:13childhood.55:15You normally normally the first thing 55:17that will happen is certain 55:20relationships in your life will start to 55:22reform because the people pleaser part 55:25of you or the self the self-independent 55:28self-reliant part of you all of a sudden 55:30you relate to yourself differently now 55:32and now it's like a whole new world. So 55:35you'll find yourself redefining your 55:37relationships in your life first 55:39>> and that can come with a little bit of 55:40fear because then you'll be afraid that 55:43you're going to lose the people that are 55:44already in your life. So normally for a 55:48while it's kind of like it's kind of 55:50like a murky area where you kind of go 55:52back and forth because um you still for 55:55a while might attract an echo of the 55:58past and maybe when you attract 56:01>> it's like a test. it it can be like a 56:03test and you then have the choice.56:05Whereas before you let the controlling 56:07person in and then you were in a 56:09two-year relationship, maybe now 56:11[laughter] instead of seeing the person 56:13come in and then instead of saying yes,56:14you say oh actually I'm aware of that 56:16pattern and you say I'm not going to I'm 56:19not going to keep this is a red flag,56:21not a red rose.56:22>> So then you say no to it. So it's like 56:24you catch yourself instead of beating up 56:26the story and being like see I'm still 56:28attracting the old. Um, part of the 56:30thing I'll say too that will really help 56:33is I remember when I went through my 56:35spiritual awakening back in the day in 56:372012, it completely changed my life and 56:39it changed a lot of the way I related to 56:41myself. For a while, I felt like people 56:44didn't really understand me. And because 56:47of that, I developed a belief that I'm 56:50alone in this journey 56:51>> and my friends, you know, you think that 56:53your friends are going to be on board or 56:55they're going to be super into what 56:56you're into. They're not because you're 56:58like killing off the person they once 57:00knew.57:00>> Yeah.57:01>> 100%. Yep. And and so what happens 57:04>> it could be scary too 57:05>> because you feel like you're losing 57:06people in your life, but then you might 57:08develop a belief that like there's not a 57:10lot of people out there like me. And 57:12what I had to become aware of were my 57:14beliefs about people. My beliefs about 57:17whether there people out there like me.57:19And what I had to instead focus on is 57:22focus on being the most authentic me.57:25And if there's fear or doubt or 57:28imposttor syndrome having the fear to 57:31break through that to become the version 57:33of me that I've become where I'm you 57:35know running live events or making 57:36videos etc from that 9 toive job that I 57:39had there was a shift in identity that I 57:41had to had to have and becoming that 57:45person then became the beacon for the 57:47new people to come into my life. So what 57:50I recommend to a lot of people that are 57:52breaking their patterns is focus on 57:54being that version of you enjoying the 57:57process but also allowing something 58:00greater than you to flow through.58:03>> Allowing God to flow through you.58:05>> I believe that every one of us 58:07>> Let's go.58:07>> Yeah.58:08>> Let's go. [laughter]58:10>> I believe I believe that we're all 58:11vessels of the divine 58:13>> and it's why it feels good to add value 58:16to people. It's why it feels good to to 58:18to help people, not maybe from a 58:21codependent place, but from a place of 58:22like adding value.58:24>> And I believe that when we're trying to 58:27manage like who comes into our life and 58:29when, it's kind of like we're stealing 58:32some of the show from God in a way. It's 58:35like God wants to flow through, wants to 58:39bring things to us, but it depends on 58:41how much we can become a vessel for an 58:43energy that's greater than ourselves.58:46And any the more we can remember that 58:48our goal is to get into a flow state.58:51Our goal is to follow our passion. Our 58:53goal is to have fun. Our follow our goal 58:55is to like follow that energy. You then 58:58realize that all this other stuff is 59:00egoic mind stuff that's trying to manage 59:02from survival mode. And one of the 59:05things to realize is even thinking 59:07itself may be a form of survival. Like 59:11thinking when you are present to the 59:12moment like I know you you know think of 59:15Kobe Bryant,59:16>> right? The great one of the greatest to 59:18ever do it.59:19>> Yeah.59:19>> When he's in a game-winning moment and 59:21he's making a shot, do you think there's 59:24any thought going through his mind 59:26whatsoever?59:28>> No, he's just trying to trying to score.59:29>> He's present to the moment. He's present 59:31to the moment and it's like it's an 59:33energy you kind of surrender to. Mhm.59:35>> So when you think of anything that 59:36you've done, you know, you know, when 59:38you're speaking on stage in front of 59:39like thousands of people, when you make 59:41it about them and you're okay if you 59:44mess up or you say um or ah because you 59:46know you're being authentic and it's not 59:48about you, it's about them, something 59:50greater flows through. So it's about 59:53remembering also the analogy similar.59:56Can you make a plant grow? And when you 59:59really think about that, when you think 1:00:00of people, it's like, why? I can 1:00:02manifest. I can manifest a plant to grow 1:00:04faster. It's like, well, you can set up 1:00:07the conditions for the plant to grow.1:00:09You can put it in the sun. You can water 1:00:11it. But what makes the plant actually 1:00:14grow? God does that. It's natural 1:00:17intelligence does that. And the 1:00:19challenge in manifestation, I think for 1:00:21many of us that learn, it's almost like 1:00:24there's a certain stage of awareness you 1:00:25get to when you learn that there's a 1:00:28correlation between what you think and 1:00:29what you experience. And that's when 1:00:31it's the empowerment phase, right? It's 1:00:33like, I'm going to create my own 1:00:34reality. I'm going to think it. I'm 1:00:36going to feel it. And I'm going to take 1:00:38action. And then I'm going to experience 1:00:39it. Which it's like it's going to be the 1:00:41known because I know it inside of 1:00:43myself. And then I know it because I see 1:00:44it outside of myself. So it's like the 1:00:46known, the known, the known. I have 1:00:48safety because I'm the one that did it.1:00:50But a deeper element than even that is 1:00:53realizing that in the unknown is where 1:00:57God is.1:00:58>> In the unknown is where things that are 1:01:00even beyond what your ego can imagine.1:01:03And the ego wants to do that a lot of 1:01:05times. I believe when we think about the 1:01:07people that get into manifestation, a 1:01:10lot of it might be also that in 1:01:12childhood it didn't feel safe to be 1:01:15playing in the sandbox. It didn't feel 1:01:17safe to just be. So instead, trauma 1:01:21something happened in the external. Who 1:01:22do I need to be? All the stuff we've 1:01:24been talking about, right? But then it 1:01:26becomes a very sexy idea that I can 1:01:28think about what I want. I can feel what 1:01:30I want. And then I can experience what I 1:01:32want. It's a certain level. I believe 1:01:34that's very powerful. But I believe 1:01:36there's a level above that.1:01:38>> And that that level above that is divine 1:01:40surrender.1:01:41>> What does that look like? What is the 1:01:43old way of manifestation versus the 1:01:45divine surrender way of manifestation?1:01:48>> It's focusing on not giving the ego the 1:01:52credit for what's created for 1:01:54recognizing that what the mind can do is 1:01:58the mind is a tool that can get you to 1:02:00visualize. The purpose of visualization 1:02:04is that when you visualize, you can feel 1:02:07it before it happens. It's a tool. But 1:02:10what you visualize many times will be a 1:02:13limit. The ceiling of your ego's best 1:02:16visualization 1:02:18is the floor to your higher mind.1:02:21>> So when you think about it,1:02:22>> interesting. Want to say that one more 1:02:23time?1:02:24>> The ceiling to your ego's best case 1:02:27scenario and vision. Your dream life.1:02:30>> Yeah. It's the floor to your higher 1:02:32mind.1:02:34>> So it's the 1:02:34>> So what's available at the floor and 1:02:37above of your higher mind? God, the 1:02:40unknown, surrendering to something 1:02:42greater than you.1:02:44>> And when you focus instead on that 1:02:46energy, that's when you're really more 1:02:48free because you're not in the survival 1:02:51trying to manage things 1:02:53>> like this level. I call it like I call 1:02:55it the awakening after the awakening.1:02:57>> So I call it the second awakening is 1:02:59what I call it. The first awakening. So 1:03:01think about it like this. There's people 1:03:04that have a spiritual awakening. You 1:03:05become aware that you're an eternal 1:03:07spiritual being living a temporary human 1:03:09experience.1:03:10>> You become aware that you there's a 1:03:11correlation between what you think, what 1:03:13you experience, the actions you take.1:03:15It's all exciting, right? So, you start 1:03:17creating your own reality.1:03:18>> You become aware of your own awareness.1:03:20>> Yes. And and you're aware that like you 1:03:22want to direct it because you don't want 1:03:23to be at the victim of everything.1:03:25>> You don't want to be responding to 1:03:26things. You want to be 1:03:28>> Yeah.1:03:28>> directing it. And I guess you don't want 1:03:30to be reacting. You want to be 1:03:31responding.1:03:32>> Here's the thing. The pattern many times 1:03:35is what people manifest from. So think 1:03:38about this. A people pleaser wants to 1:03:41has a people pleasing pattern, right?1:03:43They're not a people pleaser, but they 1:03:44have a pattern of people pleasing.1:03:45>> I've experienced a pattern of this.1:03:47>> Yes. And they may want to manifest a big 1:03:50following on social media. They may want 1:03:52to help a lot of people XYZ. The thing 1:03:55is is all well and good. Their mind can 1:03:58think about it. Their mind can feel it.1:04:00Their mind can try to experience it.1:04:02It's still the pattern trying to 1:04:04mitigate the nervous system from the 1:04:06pattern.1:04:07>> And the thing is is you can't actually 1:04:11change the pattern from the level of the 1:04:12pattern. So for example, let's imagine 1:04:15you have a judgmental part of yourself 1:04:17and you become aware of it and you're 1:04:19like, "Oh, this judgmental part of me,1:04:21I'm probably this way because my parents 1:04:23were highly criticizing as a kid. So now 1:04:25I judge myself." What is the first thing 1:04:27you do when you talk to that part of 1:04:28yourself?1:04:29>> Judge it.1:04:30>> Exactly. Yeah.1:04:31>> So you judge it and then and then so the 1:04:33key many times for this layer of healing 1:04:36is you actually learn to accept the 1:04:38judge. You actually learn to accept the 1:04:41people pleaser. You accept and you 1:04:44recognize that these this this part of 1:04:46you got you to where you are now.1:04:48>> Yes.1:04:48>> And that creates a lot more peace inside 1:04:50of yourself because no longer are you at 1:04:53war with yourself.1:04:54>> You don't have to beat yourself up for 1:04:55the years of living.1:04:57>> Exly. Exactly. So then in this second 1:05:00layer of I create my own reality and I'm 1:05:03going to manifest and 1:05:04>> that's the first level of awakening.1:05:06>> It's the first level 1:05:06>> and then the second level 1:05:08>> the second level is where it's on the 1:05:11other side of the pattern where there's 1:05:13a more heavy focus on becoming the love 1:05:17becoming the truth. This is more like if 1:05:20you think about it think of codependency 1:05:24independency interdependency.1:05:27So codependency is like I'm an empath 1:05:30that can feel other people's energies 1:05:31and I'm trying to play this out with a 1:05:32controlling person. Like that's like 1:05:34we're they're the problem. It's a lot of 1:05:36codependent energy. Then you get into a 1:05:39level of independence. This is more 1:05:40self-reliance. I don't need no man or 1:05:42woman. I do it myself. I'm going create 1:05:44success. I don't need anybody else. Very 1:05:47empowering place to be. It's where a lot 1:05:49of self-development lives as well. It's 1:05:51like I'm going to create and I'm going 1:05:53to like direct my life so that I'm not a 1:05:56a leaf in the I'm not a leaf in the 1:05:58wind. I'm uh like I have an influence.1:06:02>> This challenge is at this level.1:06:04>> It's that you can get stuck here because 1:06:07it's still coming from the level of the 1:06:09ego.1:06:10>> Yes.1:06:10>> And you're still trying to attain 1:06:11something to get somewhere you aren't 1:06:13currently right now.1:06:14>> There's a Yeah. There's you're detached 1:06:16from a result that you want 1:06:18>> and it's not here. So like 1:06:19>> here now. Exactly. And that's the major 1:06:21thing with with with manifestation in 1:06:23general is it's like this moment's not 1:06:25okay right here, but if I can visualize 1:06:26it and feel it, then I'll experience it 1:06:28over there and I got to feel it now. So,1:06:30it's this whole almost like agenda to 1:06:33get somewhere where you're not already 1:06:35>> to accomplish something or have 1:06:37something you don't have.1:06:38>> Exactly. And the level above this that 1:06:40I'm alluding to is when you learn to 1:06:43fall in love with the process. When you 1:06:46learn to have fun in the process. When 1:06:48you learn that you can become the 1:06:51version of you that is in love with 1:06:54life. The version of you that's 1:06:56committed to truth. When you recognize 1:06:58that everybody around you is a 1:07:00reflection of your relationship to self.1:07:02It's when you focus on becoming and 1:07:05embodying that God energy that we're all 1:07:08connected to. And when we begin to tap 1:07:11into that level of presence, we don't 1:07:14need to have the vision board and to do 1:07:16all of these things from the level of 1:07:18the ego. I'd say like think of thinking 1:07:22is like a survival mechanism thing. When 1:07:25you're present to the moment, you're not 1:07:27thinking. So when you're present to the 1:07:29moment and you're in the flow, it's more 1:07:32fun. You're more magnetic. You don't 1:07:34have an agenda. And the energy of not 1:07:37having an agenda is extraordinarily 1:07:39magnetic.1:07:40>> What if you have a goal still in your 1:07:42life? What if you do have an agenda 1:07:44because you're like, well, I want to 1:07:46>> make money and I want to get a home and 1:07:47I want to, you know, accomplish this 1:07:49goal that I have.1:07:50>> How do you detach from the 1:07:52>> the the direction you want to go towards 1:07:55your life?1:07:56>> Yep. rather than just being a leaf in 1:07:57the wind that take me wherever you want 1:07:59to and you okay I have a clear vision of 1:08:01what I still want to have for myself but 1:08:04how do I be detached from forcing it and 1:08:07allowing it or potentially something 1:08:09greater.1:08:10>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great question.1:08:12And the the way that I relate to this is 1:08:15in a quick little story I'll share. Um,1:08:17where I learned a lot back when I first 1:08:19was learning about the law of attraction 1:08:20and surrender and all this stuff was 1:08:22when I had my nineto-ive job selling 1:08:24women shoes at Barney New York in Vegas.1:08:27And every day I went in and it was a 1:08:28commission based job and you started at 1:08:30zero. And when I'd go in every day, I 1:08:33could see the difference between having 1:08:34a very concrete goal and having uh like 1:08:38an intention for the day and then going 1:08:40into work and then helping customers. I 1:08:43could see what results that got me 1:08:46versus a different energy. So, I'll 1:08:48explain the two energies. One energy is 1:08:50I go into work to sell shoes and when I 1:08:52get there, I want to sell $4,000 worth 1:08:55of shoes today because that means I made 1:08:57$400. Now is a decent day, right? Every 1:09:00customer I help is a means to my end. I 1:09:04am helping them because they are going 1:09:06to help me make my goal. So if I have a 1:09:08customer I don't think is going to buy,1:09:10I get kind of antsy and I'm like and 1:09:12then I'm only greeting certain customers 1:09:14I think might want to buy. So it's like 1:09:16this whole thing that's like I'm trying 1:09:18to control. And what I'd recognize those 1:09:21day days weren't so fun. There was an 1:09:23attachment to outcome and I would not 1:09:24have the best days and it felt like it 1:09:26felt like force. Then what I would do is 1:09:30I tested it and instead I would go into 1:09:33work with the intention of having fun.1:09:36>> Just that's it.1:09:36>> I was 1:09:37>> how do I have the most fun?1:09:38>> How do I have more fun than anyone else?1:09:40How do I show my personality? I'm 1:09:42helping these people. Like back in the 1:09:44day it was these people were like super 1:09:45rich and here I am selling shoes. There 1:09:47was put them on a pedestal, right? I'm 1:09:49like no, I'm going to share my 1:09:50personality. I'm going to have fun and 1:09:52I'm going to add value in the 1:09:54background. And I'm like, it'd be cool 1:09:55to sell that much amount, but I'm going 1:09:58to I'm not going to have that. I'm just 1:09:59going to have fun with it. So, I would 1:10:01go into work and I would add value. I 1:10:04would have fun. I'd have the courage to 1:10:06like show them other things that maybe 1:10:07they didn't ask for that I thought they 1:10:09would genuinely like. And those were the 1:10:11best days. And what I learned from that 1:10:14is it's not just the goal that you have.1:10:16It's the way in which you go about 1:10:18achieving that goal that makes the 1:10:20difference. It's the energy under the 1:10:23surface. So, I'll also give you one more 1:10:25quick example. I run live events now.1:10:28When I'm running a live event, um the 1:10:31way that I create content nowadays is 1:10:33like a mix of stuff like this, stuff 1:10:36like uh running live events, etc. If I 1:10:38go in to run a live event and my purpose 1:10:40of that live event is I want to get some 1:10:42epic content for social media, doesn't 1:10:45work.1:10:46>> It's not it's not great content and it 1:10:48takes my attention away from what it 1:10:50should really be there to do. When I go 1:10:52into a live event and my sole focus is 1:10:55on having fun and helping people 1:10:56transform, all of that comes anyways.1:10:59But I can feel in my body the difference 1:11:02between doing it to have fun and doing 1:11:05it to get a specific result. And you 1:11:08could say even the transformation is a 1:11:09result, but the transformation of the 1:11:12customer is a win-win because they also 1:11:14want that. Whereas, if I'm trying to 1:11:16sell you shoes and I want you to buy the 1:11:18shoes that might not be best for you,1:11:20but I then make my paycheck, that's a 1:11:21win-lose. A win-win is when you become a 1:11:24vessel for something greater than you.1:11:26So, I was telling you before we started 1:11:28this podcast, the live events I run,1:11:30I'll go 8 hours a day speaking,1:11:31sometimes three days in a row with hot 1:11:33seat coaching. And it's something that 1:11:35just in the present moment it happens.1:11:38It's energy flows through. It's very 1:11:40hard to explain. And but it's it's 1:11:43because you can become a vessel to 1:11:45something greater than yourself.1:11:47>> And I I've done it before where I have 1:11:50an agenda of the things I want to talk 1:11:51about. And that makes it to where it's 1:11:54very mudded up, you know. Um it's it's 1:11:57more so about the present moment, having 1:11:59fun, falling in love with the process,1:12:01realizing that this is where the gold 1:12:04is. And the more you can enjoy the 1:12:06present moment, have fun. Yes, you can 1:12:09still have the goals in the background,1:12:10but you focus on your connection to the 1:12:12divine and letting something greater 1:12:14than you flow through. That's where 1:12:16you'll be surprised and it won't come 1:12:18from giving the credit to the ego to say 1:12:20I manifested this. I view my YouTube 1:12:23channel as a gift.1:12:25>> It is a gift that like the what I've 1:12:27been able to grow in my life is a gift 1:12:28that has come from being a vessel to 1:12:30something greater than myself. And I try 1:12:32my best. I still have a shadow. I still 1:12:34have things I become aware of inside of 1:12:36myself, but I do my best not to let 1:12:38myself be the one that thinks I did all 1:12:40of this 1:12:41>> because then that comes with the notion 1:12:44of if things do go well or don't go 1:12:46well, it comes with the other side of 1:12:48that,1:12:48>> but also it comes from I believe like a 1:12:51misconstrued perspective of like what's 1:12:53really going on with what makes the 1:12:55plant grow.1:12:56>> And as long as I'm willing to become a 1:12:58vessel and everyone here, you don't have 1:13:00to be on YouTube or be doing the kind of 1:13:02work that we're doing to do that. You 1:13:04can get into a flow state doing 1:13:06anything.1:13:06>> Yes.1:13:07>> And by being present to the moment and 1:13:08caring about other people, you can do it 1:13:10in that nineto-ive job I had. I was able 1:13:13to do that at times where I really 1:13:15popped into that flow state. And the 1:13:16people that were the top salespeople 1:13:18that I worked with that did it for 20 1:13:19years, they loved it.1:13:20>> Yes,1:13:20>> they were in a flow state. It was their 1:13:22life. And then the other people that 1:13:24didn't like being there, they didn't do 1:13:25as well. Like that's that's something I 1:13:28always tune myself more to uh more to 1:13:30now. But that divine surrender is where 1:13:34I've had to become aware that the level 1:13:35under it can be somewhat of a level of 1:13:38grandiosity under the surface if it's 1:13:40unchecked because it's like I imagined 1:13:42it. I visualized it. I experienced it 1:13:45because I created the safety. But it's 1:13:48really safety of creating the familiar 1:13:50from the level of the pattern. And when 1:13:52you go beyond the pattern and you get 1:13:53into the present moment, that's when the 1:13:55divine can run through. So now in my own 1:13:58life, it's like running. I'm it doesn't 1:14:01make sense some of the things I'm really 1:14:02leaning into my life because I've 1:14:04created so much success off just YouTube 1:14:06but it's like that energy of running 1:14:09live events of doing the things I'm 1:14:11passionate about is the energy of when 1:14:13I'm in other things happen like podcasts 1:14:16like this other things come into my 1:14:18awareness when I'm in that energy and 1:14:20it's very interesting because it's like 1:14:22it's a different way to look at it 1:14:24instead of how do I get these things how 1:14:26do I get in that energy 1:14:27>> how do I find flow how do I fall in love 1:14:30with the process? How do I follow my 1:14:31purpose and my passion? How do I become 1:14:34more vulnerable and expressive?1:14:36>> And these are things that I think stem 1:14:38into more love and connection and all of 1:14:41that.1:14:41>> So, if you're getting ready for an event 1:14:43or a project or a meeting or something 1:14:47>> um or you're hosting an event, what is 1:14:49the process for you to get out of your 1:14:51head and into divine flow? Is it the day 1:14:54before? Is it an hour before? Or is it a 1:14:56moment for you on stage or have the 1:14:58meeting or whatever it might be like?1:14:59>> Yeah.1:15:00>> Is there something you think? Is it 1:15:01something you let go of? Is it something 1:15:02that is it a breath technique? What is 1:15:04the process?1:15:05>> For me, the process is being present 1:15:08with whatever comes up.1:15:09>> So if nerves come up to welcome those 1:15:12nerves and what I found is through the 1:15:15repetition of running live events, the 1:15:17very beginning when I first started 1:15:18running live events, there were a lot of 1:15:19nerves. Then I did it more and more. And 1:15:21then I did I I did so many that it was 1:15:24like there was less nerves. Then I 1:15:26started doing hot seat coaching at live 1:15:27events where I coach people in front of 1:15:29a group and like you don't know where 1:15:31it's going to go. Same thing, nerves 1:15:33would come up. I'd focus on re 1:15:35recognizing that one of the reason the 1:15:38nerves are coming up is simply because 1:15:40that energy is unfamiliar and 1:15:43recognizing that the more repetitions I 1:15:45put in, the more comfortable I get with 1:15:47the energy. So, I actually embraced the 1:15:51emotion knowing that one day those 1:15:54nerves won't be there. Like, I'm at a 1:15:56stage now where I ran an event a couple 1:15:58weeks ago and it was weird because I'm 1:16:01like, there are zero like zero nerves 1:16:02going on stage at all.1:16:04>> And and I'm sure there will be maybe 1:16:06it's like if there were more people in 1:16:08the crowd, maybe the nerves would come 1:16:09back. Like, who knows? But I I recognize 1:16:12that like, oh, the nerves are a good 1:16:14thing. The nerves are a sign that say 1:16:18you're making this new version of you 1:16:19more familiar.1:16:20>> Uhhuh.1:16:21>> So you're it's it's a good sign. It's 1:16:23not a bad thing. So instead of a 1:16:25survival mechanism of I need to get the 1:16:27nerves to go away, how can you be more 1:16:29present with the nerves? And what I've 1:16:31learned is especially when in a live 1:16:34event, if I can slow things down and be 1:16:37present and have more silences when I'm 1:16:40speaking, it's so much more powerful.1:16:43And through that energy is where the 1:16:46aliveness, the presence flows. And that 1:16:49that's been a game changer. So I have 1:16:51these tools where I know that if I want 1:16:53to shift the energy of a room at all, I 1:16:55just have to slow down, be more present 1:16:57with what I'm feeling,1:16:58>> pause. Yeah.1:16:59>> Pause. Accept the emotions. Um, but 1:17:03recognizing the nerves, it's like it's 1:17:04the it's the the ego's mind's way of 1:17:07trying to manage the situation. And I 1:17:11>> recognize that like one day I'll 1:17:13probably 1:17:14>> eventually 1:17:16I'm sure the first time you were doing 1:17:18this podcast there were nerves before 1:17:19certain guests that come on 1:17:21>> now you've you put in so many reps it's 1:17:23probably kind of like what it's like 1:17:24it's more normal you know.1:17:26>> Um 1:17:27>> so yeah so it's like kind of a similar 1:17:28type way I relate to it. There's 1:17:30something you said earlier about this 1:17:33rescue energy that sometimes people 1:17:35might have, like they're trying to 1:17:36rescue people.1:17:38>> Where does this desire to fix or rescue 1:17:41another human being typically in 1:17:43romantic relationships come from? Is it 1:17:46all stem from 1:17:47>> a behavior that they witnessed that 1:17:50they're now modeling, or is it from the 1:17:52need to fix a parent wound?1:17:55>> Yeah.1:17:56>> In an adult relationship?1:17:58>> Yeah. Yeah. That's that's very spot on.1:18:01Um when you think of the rescuer 1:18:03dynamic, think of it like 1:18:04>> the victim and the rescuer, right?1:18:06>> Yes. The victim, the rescuer, and the 1:18:07perpetrator, the triangle.1:18:09>> So what happens is the rescuer, it feels 1:18:13safer, it feels safer to be in the 1:18:16rescuer dynamic to be than to be in the 1:18:18victim dynamic. So as a rescuer dynamic 1:18:21as a kid, you may have been trying to 1:18:24rescue mom and dad or your siblings and 1:18:27you may have been trying to fix them and 1:18:29part of that was that was what you 1:18:30believed your role was. So it may be 1:18:33coming from a past childhood energy 1:18:36where subconsciously if I can fix mom 1:18:39and dad, I will then be whole and 1:18:42complete. So as an adult 1:18:43>> or I'll be safe.1:18:44>> Or I'll be safe.1:18:45>> Yeah. Yeah. And as an adult now, that 1:18:47may be a pattern that's familiar.1:18:50>> And then you're trying to fix your 1:18:51partner because if you could fix them,1:18:54help them, whatever, then you can feel 1:18:57good about yourself. And rescuers were 1:18:58either will either attract a perpetrator 1:19:00or a victim normally. And the and here's 1:19:04the thing. When rescuers stop being a 1:19:06rescuer and they get more centered 1:19:07inside of themselves, they then will 1:19:10start to look like a perpetrator to the 1:19:13the victim because they're no longer 1:19:15saving them.1:19:16>> Right? That's so interesting.1:19:17>> And that the rescuer normally had a 1:19:20perpetrator in their life that dynamic 1:19:22when they were growing up. For me, it 1:19:24was an exepmom energy. And it was like,1:19:26I don't want to be anything like her.1:19:28And I as a kid had to please in order to 1:19:31feel safe. I don't want to be like her 1:19:33and she had a lot of anger. So I don't 1:19:35want any of that. So I'm instead going 1:19:37to be the rescuer.1:19:38>> Wow.1:19:39>> So I had to years ago go moving into 1:19:41this energy.1:19:42>> I had to be okay with being seen as the 1:19:45bad guy because certain people that 1:19:48normally I would fix their situations. I 1:19:50would give them money. I would do 1:19:52whatever. All of a sudden 1:19:54>> I am now more of a of a perpetrator in 1:19:56that eye. And you don't want to be a 1:19:58perpetrator when you experience that 1:20:00growing up.1:20:00>> No.1:20:01>> The thing is,1:20:01>> so you feel bad in the beginning.1:20:04>> Yep.1:20:04>> And you almost revert back to like,1:20:06okay, but then it just you get 1:20:09>> beaten down over and over again. Man,1:20:11it's exhausting.1:20:12>> Yeah, it is. And and that's why moving 1:20:14into the center of the triangle, you 1:20:16don't move. You you will be perceived as 1:20:19a perpetrator, but you're not.1:20:21>> You will you instead are being 1:20:22authentic.1:20:23>> Yes.1:20:23>> You are standing your frame, your 1:20:25ground,1:20:25>> boundaries. Yes. creating boundaries,1:20:27not fixing other people. That's not a 1:20:29perpetrator. That's that's you being 1:20:32centered in an individualized human 1:20:34being.1:20:35>> And that's a lot of times I think what's 1:20:37missing is like being able to move into 1:20:39these dynamics is you have to be okay 1:20:42with being misunderstood. You have to be 1:20:44okay with rerouting certain dynamics and 1:20:47you have to be okay with understanding 1:20:48that it's going to feel unfamiliar for a 1:20:50while.1:20:51>> You're going to have to sit with tension 1:20:52as they feel tension.1:20:53>> You're going to have to be seen as a 1:20:55certain way. M 1:20:56>> but that tension is your initiation 1:20:59into the you that is an integrated human 1:21:02being and without the pattern.1:21:04>> Yes.1:21:05>> Yeah.1:21:06>> If someone is stuck in the vibration of 1:21:09waiting,1:21:10>> what's the first thing they should be 1:21:11doing to get started to achieving their 1:21:14goals?1:21:16>> Yeah. The vibration of waiting is what a 1:21:19lot of people do when we're also 1:21:20manifesting, right? Because I'm going to 1:21:22manifest it, think about it, then I'm 1:21:24going to experience it. But it's 1:21:25waiting. It's waiting.1:21:26>> Just being patient. Yeah. You got to be 1:21:28patient sometimes.1:21:29>> And what's this going to happen though?1:21:31I'm experiencing it. Why isn't it 1:21:33happening faster? Right.1:21:34>> Right. Which is taking score, which is 1:21:36trying to once again the manifestation 1:21:38itself is a mechanism to get somewhere 1:21:41else. So the vibration of waiting,1:21:43>> something that you're separate from.1:21:45>> Yes.1:21:45>> You don't have yet.1:21:47>> Exactly. So the vibration of waiting and 1:21:50the vibration of being are two different 1:21:52vibrations. M 1:21:53>> they're two different energies. The 1:21:55vibration of wanting is also similar to 1:21:58the a the energy of waiting because if 1:22:00you're waiting you're wanting and when 1:22:02you want you say I energetically lack 1:22:04>> I don't have 1:22:05>> I don't have and if you want it you 1:22:08might want it because you believe if you 1:22:10have it it will complete a part of you 1:22:14very often people will be maybe going 1:22:16through a breakup and they'll say when 1:22:18am I going to attract this person or why 1:22:20isn't this person coming back and what 1:22:22it's the the belief is if I have them 1:22:25back, then I'll feel different inside of 1:22:27my body.1:22:27>> Yeah.1:22:28>> So often when people say they want to 1:22:31attract a specific person into their 1:22:33life, what they're subconsciously doing 1:22:35is they're trying to attract a specific 1:22:37pattern into their life. And that's 1:22:40where things get mixed up because that 1:22:41person is representative of a pattern.1:22:44And if there's an unresolved pattern 1:22:46from the past, you're trying to pull it 1:22:47back. So the waiting energy and the 1:22:51wanting energy is an energy and a way of 1:22:55trying to manipulate reality to be 1:22:57different so that you feel different on 1:22:59the inside. So instead focus on being 1:23:03the version of you that is that 1:23:06passionate version of you. Focus on 1:23:08being it because it's who you choose to 1:23:10be, not because of what it'll get you.1:23:12>> That's the difference. So being in that 1:23:15energy shifts everything. Back in 2017 1:23:19before I got on YouTube, I changed my 1:23:21self-image. I realized I was being a 9 1:23:25toive jobgo. I would think thoughts 1:23:27equal to that reality. I would feel 1:23:29emotions equal to that reality. We would 1:23:30talk about how slow it was. Everything 1:23:32was in I when people say they're out of 1:23:34alignment, that's never true. You're 1:23:37always in alignment with something. you 1:23:40just might be in alignment with a part 1:23:43of you you don't prefer to actually be 1:23:45in.1:23:46>> So it kind of redefineses it. So back in 1:23:482017 I was in alignment with the 9 toive 1:23:51job I hated. I was waiting and I wanted 1:23:54so bad to be a YouTuber to uh not be 1:23:58working a 9 toive job I hated dealing 1:24:00with corporate politics. And one of the 1:24:03things I recognized is part of my 1:24:05self-image was that I am a nineto-ive 1:24:08jobgoer. That was part of my self-image.1:24:10And even then, it was slowly shortly 1:24:12after I read the book Psychocybernetics,1:24:14which I know you've probably heard of.1:24:16And our our internal self-image is very 1:24:18powerful.1:24:18>> Yes.1:24:19>> I recognized that my self-image was that 1:24:22I work a 9 toive sales job selling women 1:24:25shoes. And what I recognized is that I 1:24:28realized I saw myself as a mediocre 1:24:30sales employee. I was always right in 1:24:32the middle of the list cuz you'd get 1:24:34every day the people sales from the last 1:24:36day. I was always right in the middle. I 1:24:38was never the bottom. I was never always 1:24:39at the top. And what I realized is that 1:24:42my self-image is that I'm an average 1:24:44sales employee. So eventually what I did 1:24:46is I started to see myself as a top 1:24:48sales employee.1:24:49>> I started to be a top sales employee.1:24:52>> This meant actually greeting every 1:24:55customer. Not trying to select which 1:24:57customers were best. Profiling they 1:24:59called it. Trying to just people you 1:25:00think would buy. A lot of people I 1:25:02worked with would do that. I was like,1:25:03I'm not going to do that. I'm going to 1:25:04greet every customer. I'm going to go 1:25:06above and beyond. I recognized that like 1:25:09I that version of me would bring had the 1:25:11courage to show them other things they 1:25:12didn't ask for. That version of me had 1:25:14fun with them. That version of me even 1:25:17after they bought I would tissue over 1:25:19the box in a certain way and walk it 1:25:21around to them just that little bit 1:25:22extra was a part of this new identity.1:25:25Within days consistently I was at the 1:25:27top of that list. Then years later I 1:25:30learned about that and I was like well I 1:25:31want to be on YouTube. I don't want to 1:25:32be in this 9 toive job at all. So, I 1:25:35started to be that full-time version of 1:25:37me on YouTube. And I realized for a long 1:25:39time I was waiting. You want to know 1:25:41what I was waiting for? You'll think 1:25:42it's funny.1:25:42>> What?1:25:43>> I was waiting for someone to tell me to 1:25:45go for it.1:25:45>> Oh my gosh.1:25:46>> I had this vid I had this belief that 1:25:49what I'm going to do is I'm going to 1:25:51meet Tony Robbins.1:25:53>> You should do this.1:25:54>> Exactly. So, I was going to help cuz I 1:25:56helped people at Barney's New York and 1:25:57women's shoes. So, I'm like I they're 1:25:59going to help me. I'm going to help them 1:26:00one day and he's going to see all this 1:26:02potential in me and he's going to say,1:26:03"Aaron, you've got all this potential in 1:26:04you. Go for it." And I'm going to say,1:26:06"Okay, Tony, I'm going to go for it."1:26:07Cuz I've always looked up to him, you 1:26:08know? So, that was what I was waiting 1:26:10for. Funny enough, I ended up helping 1:26:13Sage and um their assistant one day,1:26:16like years like uh like months before I 1:26:18went full-time. But it was when that was 1:26:20happening, I was like, "Is it going to 1:26:21happen? Is something going to happen?1:26:22>> Are they going to say see something in 1:26:24me and say this?"1:26:25>> Exactly. And I helped them. It was a 1:26:27very It was a beautiful interaction. She 1:26:28was they were really cool, but I didn't 1:26:30get invited to Tony's house.1:26:32>> You know what I mean? And that was the 1:26:34kind of like entitled manifestation 1:26:36energy that I had where I was just 1:26:38trying to think it and visualize it and 1:26:40experience it without taking the action.1:26:43So for me, eventually there was a moment 1:26:46where I decided I'm going to go daily on 1:26:48YouTube until I have a like until until 1:26:52I'm full-time. In January of 2017, I was 1:26:54living at my dad's house and I had this 1:26:56idea. Literally felt like an idea from 1:26:59the divine or something. It said I was 1:27:02in the hallway at my dad's house and it 1:27:03said, "If you make a video a day for a 1:27:06year, your life will transform." So, I 1:27:08started making daily videos. And at 1:27:10first, it was hard. I'm working a 9 1:27:12toive job at the same time. I was busy.1:27:15>> Within two or 3 weeks, things started to 1:27:17grow. Within 6 months, I had 100,000 1:27:19followers.1:27:20>> 6 months. Wow.1:27:21>> 6 months. And then my last day ever was 1:27:24the Conor McGregor Mayweather fight 1:27:26>> in Vegas.1:27:27>> In Vegas. I lived in Vegas. I knew it 1:27:28would be busy that day. So what I did is 1:27:30I scheduled two weeks before that. I 1:27:32requested to open on that day so I could 1:27:34still watch the fight cuz I wanted to 1:27:35watch it. And that was my last day of 1:27:37ever having a 9 toive job.1:27:38>> Is that 2017?1:27:39>> 2017.1:27:40>> What day was that? Like what month?1:27:42>> August. It was like August 18th or 1:27:43something. It was in August.1:27:45>> And that was my last I put in my two 1:27:46weeks two weeks before that. Went to my 1:27:48friend sold. Made a whole bunch of money 1:27:50in commission that day. went home best 1:27:52day ever.1:27:52>> It was the best day ever. It was one of 1:27:54the biggest like, you know, I've been 1:27:56blessed to like be very abundant over 1:27:58the last like 10 years I've been doing 1:27:59this. The biggest shift in frequency 1:28:01I've ever experienced is when I went 1:28:03from working a 9 toive job I didn't 1:28:05really care for to doing what I love 1:28:06full-time.1:28:07>> Even though doing what I love full-time 1:28:09for that first year,1:28:10>> I wasn't making a lot.1:28:10>> No, I may have made 60k a year or 1:28:12something my first year, but I was doing 1:28:14I bought my time back,1:28:15>> you know. But the shift for me was I 1:28:18started to be a YouTuber. And even when 1:28:21I was starting to grow, it wasn't like I 1:28:23I have to get out of this 9 toive job 1:28:25and I have to like escape and it wasn't 1:28:28the energy of that. It was like I was 1:28:30just excited to be making videos. I was 1:28:32passionate about it. I would learn from 1:28:35every video I made how to get better.1:28:37And then it got to a place to where it 1:28:39just kept growing. put in my two weeks 1:28:41and then I learned, you know, I learned 1:28:43everything, you know, a lot of the stuff 1:28:44that I know now as far as like business 1:28:46side of things, live events, all that 1:28:48grew over, you know, the years. But 1:28:51yeah, it was um it was an identity shift 1:28:53and there was a making a choice to be 1:28:55it. Not cuz the being will escape where 1:28:57I'm at, but being it because this is who 1:28:59I choose to be.1:29:01>> And that was the energy that changed 1:29:03everything.1:29:04It sounds like a lot of the things that 1:29:06are holding people back are the 1:29:10attachments they have around their 1:29:12selfidentity.1:29:13>> Yeah.1:29:14>> And the nervous system that they have 1:29:16that's connected to that identity.1:29:18>> Yeah.1:29:19>> So, what needs to change first in order 1:29:21for someone to have a breakthrough? Is 1:29:23it their self-image and identity or is 1:29:26it the healing of the nervous system in 1:29:28order for you to have the energy that 1:29:30feels safe enough to go for it? Yeah.1:29:34You know what's interesting about this 1:29:35is either way can work. There's the top 1:29:38down approach and there's the bottom up 1:29:40approach. The top down approach is where 1:29:43you become aware of your patterns. You 1:29:45become aware of your pattern. You become 1:29:47aware of your identity. Asking yourself 1:29:50this one question that we've talked 1:29:52about a few times. Who did you have to 1:29:54be as a kid to receive mom and dad's 1:29:57love? is so enlightening because that 1:30:01will show you what pattern has been 1:30:04underneath the surface that gets to the 1:30:06root of the mother father child stuff 1:30:09and what I have seen transform thousands 1:30:11of people's lives at live events and 1:30:14coaching and everything is by more than 1:30:16anything else it's looking at that 1:30:18mother father child dynamic 1:30:21>> who think about it like this mother 1:30:23father child the the way in which you 1:30:25relate to mom is the way in which you 1:30:28relate to feminine energy. It's the way 1:30:30in which you relate to relationships 1:30:32because feminine energy is relational by 1:30:34nature. And your mom's your first 1:30:35relationship. So that's your 1:30:38relationship to relationships.1:30:39>> Wow.1:30:40>> And your relationship to feminine energy 1:30:41and creativity. Your relationship to 1:30:43your dad is representative of your 1:30:46relationship to self, your relationship 1:30:48to purpose,1:30:49>> your relationship to boundaries, your 1:30:51relationship to um like your your your 1:30:55abundance in your life. And what happens 1:30:58is these the mom issues, mommy issues or 1:31:01like mother wounds and father wounds 1:31:03will relate to these different areas of 1:31:05your life as well. So what happens is 1:31:08then you are at the center your inner 1:31:10child. So child and so your relationship 1:31:12to mom is relationships. Your 1:31:14relationship to your dad is abundance.1:31:16Their relationship to each other became 1:31:18a template for how you relate to 1:31:20relationships as well.1:31:21>> Interesting. So whether relationship 1:31:23worked out, whether they had to repress 1:31:25energy, who they had to be, normally you 1:31:27might have had an avoidant and an 1:31:29anxious like parent in in different ways 1:31:31that balanced one way or the other.1:31:33>> But looking at these dynamics can be so 1:31:36so enlightening because who you had to 1:31:38be is the pattern that's subconscious 1:31:41that's keeping you trapped. It's keeping 1:31:43you trapped in unfulfilled non-rescrocal 1:31:46relationships. It's keeping you trapped 1:31:48in dynamics you don't prefer. It's 1:31:50keeping scarcity in your life.1:31:52>> And the more you can work on the mother,1:31:54father, child dynamic, the more your 1:31:57life will begin to ravel in a powerful 1:31:58way.1:31:59>> Now, the breath work side of it is 1:32:02something that as you do, you can begin 1:32:04to release the energy that's stored 1:32:06inside of the body. And for that, breath 1:32:10work is so powerful because you don't 1:32:12have to necessarily understand every 1:32:14little trauma that came up. You can just 1:32:17feel it, let it be there, and express it 1:32:20out. And that's why expression is so 1:32:22powerful. When you're even thinking of 1:32:24everything that we just talked about, if 1:32:26people want to get like a practical way 1:32:28of breaking their patterns, right? You 1:32:30think of um awareness is a powerful part 1:32:33of it. The other aspect of this is you 1:32:35become aware of the pattern. Many people 1:32:37stay stuck in their patterns for a very 1:32:39long time even though they're aware.1:32:40>> Yeah.1:32:41>> The expression is the next stage. It's 1:32:44forgiveness and expression. Expression 1:32:47may be through breath work where you 1:32:48don't understand where it's coming from.1:32:50But even think of the pe the 1:32:52peopleleasing pattern we've been talking 1:32:54about. When you start to express the 1:32:56real you and you let people with sit 1:32:58with tension, that is an expression that 1:33:00you are no longer harboring. It's no 1:33:02longer stored inside of your body. If 1:33:04you are a self-reliant person that 1:33:07normally feels hyperindependent 1:33:10>> for you to begin rece to be able to 1:33:12receive to be able to uh be vulnerable 1:33:15will feel like a big stretch for you.1:33:17It'll feel very uncomfortable. That 1:33:19expression of vulnerability helps you to 1:33:21break the pattern helps you to get to 1:33:23break that pattern and to integrate it.1:33:25So your patterns get broken through what 1:33:29I call it's a it's a simple framework 1:33:31called shift sh h i ft t. First off you 1:33:35see the pattern. What is the pattern 1:33:37that's running your life? Is it 1:33:39overgiving? Is it people pleasing?1:33:41Self-reliance, controlling,1:33:44invisibeness, perfectionism, whatever it 1:33:46is. That's normally who you had to be as 1:33:48a kid to receive mom or dad's love. You 1:33:50become aware of that. You're probably 1:33:52playing that out with your friends and 1:33:53your business and you don't even know 1:33:54it, right? And your relationships. You 1:33:56become aware of it. Great. The next step 1:33:58is H. H stands for heal the root. Behind 1:34:02that pattern is an inner child that was 1:34:06not allowed to feel a certain emotion.1:34:09And if you can soothe, hear, see, and 1:34:12nurture that inner child, you begin to 1:34:15complete the past from childhood. And 1:34:17that is where then you start doing this 1:34:20really deep inner child work. Now on I,1:34:24I sh Hi stands for integrate the shadow.1:34:27You integrate the other side of yourself 1:34:29that you've been afraid to become. So as 1:34:32the people pleaser pattern, you might 1:34:34then realize you've been afraid to be 1:34:37firm in your own p in your own energy,1:34:39setting boundaries, expressing yourself,1:34:42and you might be afraid that you'll be 1:34:44seen as bad. You have to embrace that 1:34:46path. You have to embrace that and 1:34:48integrate it and accept it. So as you 1:34:51integrate the shadow, you then can focus 1:34:54on F stands for feeling the frequency of 1:34:57what you want to experience, but in the 1:35:00present moment. Not feeling it to 1:35:02manifest and get somewhere else. You 1:35:04focus on the frequency of passion, the 1:35:07frequency of falling in love with the 1:35:09process. You focus on that energy. And 1:35:12in that feeling of the frequency, you 1:35:14then get to T, which stands for 1:35:16transformation. And in transformation,1:35:19what you realize is you realize that 1:35:21this moment right here is perfect as it 1:35:23is. You realize that you are the love 1:35:27and joy you've been looking for. And you 1:35:29realize that you are whole and complete.1:35:31If you think about it, it's such a funny 1:35:33game and concept we play. We think, I 1:35:36want to be worthy. What does that even 1:35:38mean to be worthy? [snorts] Think about 1:35:40it. Like I want to feel safe. Safe is a 1:35:44concept.1:35:44>> Mhm.1:35:45>> Worthiness is a concept. Is a baby 1:35:47worthy? Think about that. Is a baby 1:35:50worthy?1:35:51>> Yes. I think a baby is worthy of being 1:35:53here.1:35:53>> But what does the baby have to do to be 1:35:55worthy? Nothing.1:35:56>> So, what's interesting about this is I 1:35:58have two layers to this. I've done this 1:36:00at a live event before. But what I did 1:36:02is I brought out these dolls and I said,1:36:03"Everyone has to pick out of these three 1:36:05babies which one is the most worthy and 1:36:08you have to boo for the one that's the 1:36:10least worthy and you have to pick."1:36:12>> Wow.1:36:12>> And I said, "It's going to sound cheesy,1:36:14but you'll remember it forever." So, we 1:36:16went through and I said, "If this is 1:36:17your baby, yell every."1:36:20It was so ridiculous. But afterwards, we 1:36:23realized how silly the concept is.1:36:25Babies don't have to do anything to be 1:36:27worthy. They just exist. In the same way 1:36:30as a kid, as a baby, we decided who do I 1:36:32have to be to be worthy and we took on 1:36:34that role.1:36:35>> Yes.1:36:35>> Here's the thing where we flip it on its 1:36:37head when it comes to transformation.1:36:40>> This idea of worthiness is a concept. I 1:36:43believe that babies and even us, we are 1:36:47both worthy and not worthy at the same 1:36:50time. If we can let it be okay that we 1:36:53are both worthy and not worthy. Doesn't 1:36:56it feel a little bit lighter to think of 1:36:57it like that?1:36:59>> Because so much of our lives is I don't 1:37:01want to feel not worthy. I don't want to 1:37:02be seen as not worthy. I have to be over 1:37:05here in order to be enough.1:37:06>> Wouldn't it feel more freeing if you 1:37:08could let it be okay that you weren't 1:37:10worthy? What if you then you're playing 1:37:12a different game, right? And ironically 1:37:15enough, people that want to feel safe,1:37:17it's like I want to feel safe. What does 1:37:18that mean? What does safety feel like in 1:37:20your body? You'll find that safety in 1:37:22your body is just what? Calm.1:37:24>> Like if you can allow yourself to accept 1:37:27feeling not safe, ironically enough,1:37:30you'll be more safe.1:37:32>> So part of T for transformation is what 1:37:34I teach is it's the consciousness shift 1:37:35into what I call the second awakening.1:37:38The second awakening is beyond this 1:37:40whole game of self-development. It's 1:37:42believing that you need one more video,1:37:44you need one more book to read, and then 1:37:46you can go for it. Stop waiting. just 1:37:48start. Every moment's a new moment.1:37:51Every moment you're a new version of 1:37:52you. And if you just start now, you've 1:37:55immediately put yourself on a new 1:37:57timeline.1:37:58>> And the thing is is we wait for the 1:38:00external to shift so that then we can 1:38:03feel a certain way. And it's like just 1:38:04start now. Start now. What you're 1:38:07waiting for a sign. I'm waiting.1:38:09Everyone's waiting for a I was waiting 1:38:11for Tony Robbins to tell me to go for 1:38:12it. it wasn't going to happen because 1:38:14the person I had to become was somebody 1:38:17that was taking ownership of my life.1:38:19And what's funny now is I'm at a place 1:38:21now to where it's like I've I there's 1:38:24always layers of course, but it's like 1:38:26it's it's so interesting how it works 1:38:27because by the time you become the 1:38:29person that you've always visualized 1:38:31yourself to be, it'll feel normal and 1:38:33natural. Mhm.1:38:34>> So, it's like it's not this thing that's 1:38:36on a pedestal that's really cool and you 1:38:37won't care either way because I know 1:38:39that even if I met like really cool 1:38:41people I've always looked up to and I 1:38:42met a lot of them. It's cool but it's 1:38:44like it's not this it doesn't make me 1:38:46more worthy or more complete but because 1:38:48I have that energy it's almost like I'm 1:38:50more of an energetic match to it because 1:38:52I'm good either way.1:38:53>> So, if anybody watches this use the 1:38:56phrase I'm good either way.1:38:59>> That's a magical mantra that you can 1:39:01begin to bring in your life. You're good 1:39:03if people like you or don't like you.1:39:06You're more free. You're okay if people 1:39:09choose you or not. You're more free.1:39:11What's so bad about being disliked? It's 1:39:14what we make it mean about us.1:39:16>> Mhm.1:39:16>> And the thing is is if we can let it be 1:39:18okay and we can be present with those 1:39:20emotions as they come up, we are then 1:39:22free. And what I say around 1:39:24transformation is true freedom is when 1:39:27you're in that energy and you're not 1:39:29trying to prove you're worthy. You're 1:39:31not trying to get somewhere else and 1:39:33manifest it because then you're going to 1:39:34feel different.1:39:36>> It's about the person you become. It's 1:39:38about falling in love with the process.1:39:40And when you're allowing the divine or 1:39:42God to flow through you, there's very 1:39:44little keeping score that happens 1:39:47because you're enjoying the moment.1:39:48>> Yes.1:39:49>> Even if you're in a situation that you 1:39:51could judge because at any layer we 1:39:53could judge and say, "Well, you it's 1:39:54easy for you because you have a certain 1:39:56level of abundance in your life." But 1:39:58you could always relate it and and 1:40:00imagine that like there's always a way 1:40:02to relate it to contrast it to realize 1:40:04like you can still be grateful for where 1:40:06you are. Even when I had that 9 toive 1:40:08job the last couple months I was there I 1:40:10was I wasn't trying to like when it was 1:40:12slow I wasn't like oh why am I here I 1:40:14could be making videos. I was like this 1:40:16is my last time I'm ever going to have a 1:40:18nineto-ive job. I just knew it. I'm 1:40:19going to enjoy it. I'm going to be 1:40:21present with the customers. I'm actually 1:40:22going to like I was present and that I 1:40:25think went into it as well cuz I wasn't 1:40:27trying to escape where I'm at. And so 1:40:29many people they might be trying to 1:40:31manifest something but they're not 1:40:32present with where they are. And if you 1:40:34more than fill your present space by 1:40:36going the extra mile or giving more 1:40:39value than you're taking, you will 1:40:41create opportunity for yourself.1:40:43>> Yes.1:40:43>> Either you'll you'll meet I've had 1:40:44people that I've met before that are 1:40:46like I want to hire you, you know, or 1:40:48something like that now that I you know 1:40:49have my own business or whatever. Like 1:40:50when I was selling shoes though, when I 1:40:52would have that energy, people would 1:40:53like want me to work for their business 1:40:54and stuff. Opportunities came because I 1:40:57was going above and beyond because of my 1:40:59energy really as well. It was my my 1:41:01mentality, my energy. So those that are 1:41:04listening to this, I think, can begin to 1:41:06apply that into their life to realize 1:41:08you're good either way because you don't 1:41:11need to control all of this and make it 1:41:13happen.1:41:14>> There's a level that that will feel very 1:41:16empowering, but it has a limit. And that 1:41:18limit is that it's always up to your ego 1:41:20to create it. And there's a level above 1:41:22that where you allow the divine to flow 1:41:24through you. And when the divine is 1:41:26flowing through you, you can still have 1:41:28these goals, but you fallen in love with 1:41:30the process. And you're curious about 1:41:32what can come into your life. You're 1:41:34curious. And then that's where the 1:41:36divine and God really begins to come in.1:41:38And that's why feeling that's why adding 1:41:40value feels so good. That's why making 1:41:42it about other people feels so good 1:41:44because then it's a win-winwin because 1:41:46other people also want to be transformed 1:41:48or want to feel good. They're attracted 1:41:50to playful energy even. You know, the 1:41:52more fun you have, the more you win.1:41:55>> The more serious and heavy things are 1:41:57because I need to manifest it and 1:41:59experience it and change my childhood 1:42:00patterns. You create this really heavy 1:42:03energy that creates a lot of resistance.1:42:05Mhm.1:42:06>> And when we go back to what we were 1:42:07talking about at the very beginning of 1:42:08the podcast, letting go is the key to 1:42:11releasing the attachment 1:42:13>> to then become more free.1:42:14>> Wow.1:42:15>> And that's the the level of the second 1:42:16awakening is you've let go of the 1:42:18identity of being spiritual. You've let 1:42:20go of the identity of like needing to 1:42:22manifest it and create it. And you're 1:42:24more into the level of presence, of 1:42:26curiosity, of presence, and of divine 1:42:29service to other people. And I believe 1:42:32we all came here to be this kind of 1:42:34energy. And I believe that even with AI 1:42:37and everything happening in the world, I 1:42:39believe there's going to be a matches a 1:42:41massive consciousness shift is going to 1:42:42happen in the next few years because of 1:42:44AI. I believe more people are going to 1:42:46wake up than we've ever seen and they're 1:42:48going to crave authenticity and they're 1:42:51going to crave presence. They're going 1:42:52to crave um I think there's going to be 1:42:55a big shift that happens and I think 1:42:56it's going to be scary in some ways 1:42:58because a lot's going to shift. But on 1:43:00the other side of that, I believe 1:43:01there's going to be more power than ever 1:43:04before for people to really get in 1:43:06alignment with their spiritual self.1:43:09>> They're going to get more in alignment 1:43:10with who they came here to be. And it's 1:43:12going to completely shift the 1:43:14perspective on the other side of this 1:43:16whole technology thing that we're 1:43:17experiencing.1:43:18>> My father passed away four years ago and 1:43:21your mom passed away three years ago. Is 1:43:22that right? Recently. And there was a 1:43:24lot that came up for me during that 1:43:26process. Um but also a lot of like peace 1:43:30and connection at the same time.1:43:32>> Yeah.1:43:32>> What was the biggest thing that came up 1:43:34for you when your mom passed away 1:43:36specifically around you doing a lot of 1:43:38the healing work before that?1:43:40>> Yeah.1:43:40>> And there was there more that you needed 1:43:42to let go of in order to be even freer 1:43:45once she passed away.1:43:47>> Yeah. There were so many um kind of 1:43:50layers to that because I was I'm very 1:43:52close to my mom. even now the way that I 1:43:54re I mean I believe that we're spiritual 1:43:56beings living in temporary human 1:43:57experiences. So I still in a way feel 1:43:59connected to my mom even though she's 1:44:01not here. I'm not sure if you feel that 1:44:02way at all with your dad. You know I 1:44:03still very 1:44:04>> more connected.1:44:05>> I feel more connected as well.1:44:06>> Um 1:44:07>> so for my mom when she passed away there 1:44:09was a lot that I had to deal with 1:44:11because I was also like taking care of 1:44:13the family in a lot of ways. I was kind 1:44:15of taking care of her and uh got her 1:44:18replaced and stuff like that. So when 1:44:19she passed away, there was a lot of 1:44:20family dynamics I had to deal with and 1:44:23that 1:44:23>> not enjoyable.1:44:24>> Not enjoyable. And it was it was hard,1:44:26you know, cuz these people I love, but 1:44:27like I can't I can't just take care of 1:44:29everybody in my family,1:44:31>> you know, that are adults, you know.1:44:32>> You had to be like create a boundary and 1:44:34also be seen as the bad guy, right?1:44:36>> And that's exactly what happened.1:44:37>> It was almost like, okay,1:44:39>> here's the greatest test.1:44:41>> Yeah.1:44:41>> Like you say you learned these things in 1:44:43the last couple years, but now can you 1:44:45really integrate? That was a pattern 1:44:47that my mom wasn't really able to break 1:44:49because she was like a So we have my 1:44:52brother and my sister, same mom,1:44:54different dad.1:44:55>> Their dad wasn't around. My dad was 1:44:57around, their dad wasn't around. So, uh,1:45:00my mom was kind of a single parent with 1:45:01them. So, she was somebody that would 1:45:04like abandon everything off her like she 1:45:06would do anything she could for certain 1:45:08people in her life and she didn't have 1:45:09boundaries and it was very hard for her 1:45:11to set boundaries with my brother and my 1:45:13sister and that was kind of the dynamic 1:45:15that she had uh with them. So when she 1:45:18passed away now it became this thing 1:45:19that I'm mo I'm like having to deal with 1:45:22which is uncomfortable 1:45:23>> but I realized it was also an 1:45:25opportunity and a gift to them to be 1:45:28able to grow up and to go through the 1:45:29uncomfortableness of like they're 27 28 1:45:32years old. They're not little kids.1:45:33Yeah.1:45:34>> Um so it was in a way it was kind of a 1:45:36gift for them to be able to grow up.1:45:38>> And I knew in a deep way that like she 1:45:41she is 58 years old had a heart attack 1:45:43out of nowhere. And the last message she 1:45:46ever sent me, my mom would send me 1:45:47WhatsApp messages. She didn't text me,1:45:49she sent me WhatsApp messages,1:45:50>> like voice memos or 1:45:52>> just just like articles and memes and 1:45:54>> but it would be text, not voice memos.1:45:56>> Yes. Not voice memos. But she sent me 1:45:57one 2 hours before she had a heart 1:46:00attack.1:46:00>> Really?1:46:01>> And it said it was a quote from this 1:46:03person that said this quantum physicist 1:46:05person that said something like, "If 1:46:07humans knew the amount of power there is 1:46:09in group meditation, it would transform 1:46:12the world like five times over." It was 1:46:14something like that.1:46:15>> She sent you this 2 hours before she 1:46:17passed.1:46:17>> Yeah. So, she she sent that image said,1:46:20"Hey, hun. I'm thinking of you." And 1:46:21like, "I have it. I have screenshots of 1:46:22it. I'll never let that go in my in my 1:46:24phone." But it was such a testament to 1:46:26me because I believe a part of my 1:46:28purpose is around doing live guided 1:46:30meditations that create group coherent 1:46:32energies.1:46:33>> So, like, and she I've always felt that 1:46:35and she knew that. So, she sent me this 1:46:36message. We hadn't talked for like a 1:46:38couple days and she sent me this one 1:46:40message about the power of group 1:46:41meditation to transform the planet and 1:46:44then two hours later was in her closet 1:46:46and had a heart attack and died.1:46:47>> Wow.1:46:48>> And my brother and sister were there. It 1:46:49was extremely traumatic for them. They 1:46:50were there.1:46:51>> They were there. Yeah. I got a call.1:46:53Gosh.1:46:53>> And then I flew in, you know, I flew in 1:46:55the next day to Vegas and and um 1:46:57>> She was already passed though.1:46:58>> Yeah, she she was gone. Yeah, she was 1:47:00gone.1:47:00>> Did she make it to the hospital or 1:47:01>> No, I think she I don't I don't think 1:47:03so. It was a very yeah I remember I 1:47:06remember you know it was a very it's a 1:47:07very visceral memory but yeah a lot came 1:47:09up for me and it was just a shock you 1:47:11know I'm like then you think of all the 1:47:13things you would have done differently 1:47:14and how much more you would have reached 1:47:16out and you would have connected you 1:47:17know um 1:47:19>> part of it too if I'm being completely 1:47:21honest I'm sure a vulnerable thing the 1:47:25the thing for me is a a week or two a 1:47:28couple weeks before she passed away one 1:47:31of the things that I did is I I kind 1:47:33reeled back and I was like, "Okay, you 1:47:35know, you know, I was like kind of 1:47:36supporting her, you know, um in a house 1:47:39in Vegas 1:47:39>> financially,1:47:40>> financially." And I was like, "Okay,1:47:41it's been I told her I give her two 1:47:42years to like, you know, figure out 1:47:44finances and stuff." And she loved to 1:47:45make woodworking stuff and she spent her 1:47:47money there and I'm like, "Okay, the the 1:47:48way she's really going to learn all this 1:47:51is I I have to like pull back 1:47:53>> keep enab not enabling but providing or 1:47:55>> like pulling back a little bit like we 1:47:57pay half the rent or something." And 1:47:58within a few weeks of me kind of pulling 1:48:01back the reins, I'm like, "Okay, you're 1:48:02going to have to like figure it out 1:48:03soon."1:48:03>> That's when it happened.1:48:05>> So, a part of myself.1:48:07>> But here's here's the here's the 1:48:08blessing, though.1:48:09>> I was at a Tony Robbins event 1:48:12>> and Tony Robbins was in was uh sharing a 1:48:14story where the last couple years of his 1:48:17mom's life, he bought her a house like 1:48:19on the beach or something like that. And 1:48:20I remember hearing that story and it 1:48:22really resonated with me. That was in 1:48:232019. And after I started becoming 1:48:25successful on YouTube, I was like, I 1:48:27have the money. And my mom's always been 1:48:29mad with my mom has always been bad with 1:48:30money. I have the money to take care of 1:48:32her. So what I did is I took care of my 1:48:35mom for the last 2 years she was alive.1:48:37And even though at the end I was really 1:48:38questioning like is this enabling so 1:48:40she'd learn abundance? Like my mom had a 1:48:42hard life, especially earlier on. So 1:48:44like I wanted to do that for her. And um 1:48:47the beauty of it though was being at 1:48:49that Tony Robbins event. I heard that 1:48:50story and I did that for my mom. But 1:48:52then it happened like a month after I 1:48:54kind of was like starting to move the 1:48:55energy back 1:48:56>> but I think deep down like I didn't for 1:48:59a while I kind of not blamed myself but 1:49:01I was like did I cause this to happen?1:49:02That's one of the stages of grief you 1:49:04renegotiate with yourself. Did I cause 1:49:06this because my mom uh now like had to 1:49:09like start figuring out money and I was 1:49:10pulling the reinss back. You know 1:49:11>> it's called bargaining.1:49:12>> Bargaining. That's what it is. Yeah.1:49:14>> I just had the grief expert on yesterday 1:49:16who talked about the six stages of 1:49:18grief. But anyway 1:49:19>> yeah 100%. That was that was the stage.1:49:21>> It's like, oh, what if I would have kept 1:49:23paying? Would she last long? What if I 1:49:24would have done this? What if id have 1:49:25reached out more?1:49:26>> Good to know because I I had to become 1:49:27aware of that inside myself.1:49:28>> And of course, I I went through all the 1:49:31OG books, you know, as I was healing 1:49:32inside of myself and processing it. And 1:49:35>> I just gave myself a lot of permission 1:49:36to cry for a long time. And it that was 1:49:39my life for a while was feeling it. And 1:49:41then eventually it was like I just I 1:49:43feel connected to my mom in a different 1:49:45way now. So I've kind of moved through 1:49:47it in a different way. And it's it's 1:49:49kind of brought me deeper into my own 1:49:50spiritual practice. And 1:49:52>> you know, I some people could say that 1:49:54the spiritual perspective is maybe just 1:49:56a way of bypassing the inevitable death 1:49:58that we all have. But I really believe 1:50:00that like we are eternal spiritual 1:50:02beings that are dreaming right now that 1:50:04this is who we are. And I believe that 1:50:06when we die, it's like waking up from a 1:50:07dream. I believe that right now we are 1:50:10awake in a higher state of 1:50:11consciousness, projecting our our life 1:50:13here, projecting our awareness here. and 1:50:15we came here to learn energy, life,1:50:19purpose, relationships. It's almost like 1:50:22we're at a bus stop and we're like, I 1:50:24want to learn this lesson, this lesson,1:50:26this lesson, and I need people to help 1:50:28me learn this in my life. And then what 1:50:30happens is all these people at the bus 1:50:31stop is like, I want to learn 1:50:32forgiveness. And someone raises their 1:50:34hand, I'll help you learn. And what 1:50:35happens is we have all these people that 1:50:37we come to Earth. And one of the hard 1:50:39parts of this reality, I believe, is 1:50:41that we forget who we are to then 1:50:43remember who we are. And if you look at 1:50:45like the work of Dolores Cannon for 1:50:47example, I don't even know if you've 1:50:48ever heard she is she's a 1:50:49hypnotherapist. Uh all of her books are 1:50:52just thousands of transcripts from 1:50:53people in a very deep level of 1:50:55hypnotherapy.1:50:56>> And the same thing comes through 1:50:57thousands of people from all over the 1:50:59world say very similar things and they 1:51:01say that now on the time is a time to be 1:51:04on the planet that's unlike any other 1:51:05time in history. That we when we come 1:51:08here forget who we are to then remember 1:51:10who we are. that there's a powerful 1:51:12shift in consciousness that's happened 1:51:14on the planet in this lifetime and that 1:51:16we have the ability to really raise our 1:51:18level of consciousness in the life 1:51:21collectively together.1:51:22>> Isn't that a line in the in the Lion 1:51:24King? It's like remember who you are 1:51:26like to somebody or whatever and it's 1:51:28like you remember who you are right 1:51:31>> it's so funny man 1:51:32>> I feel like that's what we're doing I 1:51:33feel like we're remembering who we are 1:51:35>> right now and that's that's the first 1:51:37spiritual awakening and then from there 1:51:39it's like I'm going to create my reality 1:51:41and I have all these powers and 1:51:42abilities to like um like you know I can 1:51:44take action and do all of these things 1:51:46uh but then the other side of it is the 1:51:48layer above it is the letting go the 1:51:50surrender the enjoying the process the 1:51:52giving it up the the really just 1:51:53connecting to God to the divine and that 1:51:56that connection is where everything else 1:51:59stems from. And when you give credit to 1:52:00something greater than yourself, I think 1:52:02that that's when things beyond what we 1:52:04can imagine come into our life.1:52:06>> I study a lot of sports psychology and a 1:52:08lot of like champions of sports, right?1:52:10>> Yeah.1:52:10>> And there's kind of two approaches that 1:52:13great athletes take 1:52:16>> after they win a game and they give an 1:52:18interview.1:52:18>> Yes.1:52:20Some say I'm the greatest and I knew I 1:52:22was going to make this happen and no one 1:52:24can stop me. And it's like it's about me 1:52:27and what I believe I'm capable of.1:52:31>> You know, Muhammad Ali, Conor McGregor,1:52:33they have this kind of like I know I'm 1:52:34the greatest in the world. I'm gifted.1:52:37I'm the greatest type of thing.1:52:39>> And they speak this belief and they own 1:52:41it. And in a lot of ways they can create 1:52:44that you know if they really back it 1:52:46with the training and the right things 1:52:47and they have the talent and the skills 1:52:48like that belief drives them.1:52:51>> Yeah.1:52:51>> But a majority of people take a more of 1:52:54a humble approach who are like you know 1:52:57it's all God.1:52:58>> Yes.1:52:58>> It's all Jesus. It's all God.1:53:00>> Uh I am nothing without God and I'm so 1:53:03grateful to have this opportunity. And 1:53:05you hear that approach a lot more 1:53:07specifically. I feel like I've hear it 1:53:09all the time now 1:53:10>> and less of the, you know, I'm the best 1:53:13in the world approach.1:53:14>> Yeah.1:53:15>> Um either way, they they tend to work 1:53:18around a belief, but I feel like the 1:53:20sustainable belief is 1:53:23>> I am working through God,1:53:25>> you know, or God is working through me,1:53:27right?1:53:28>> And I am so blessed and grateful to have 1:53:31the opportunity to express these gifts 1:53:34that are not necessarily mine that are 1:53:36from God. Yes.1:53:38>> And I believe that's more of a a 1:53:40sustainable approach to not just sports 1:53:42and longevity, but the life.1:53:44>> Yeah. Think about how much less pressure 1:53:45that is.1:53:46>> Oh my gosh.1:53:47>> Think of the pressure of I am Conor 1:53:48McGregor.1:53:49>> I'm the greatest of all time.1:53:50>> The greatest of all time. That's a lot 1:53:52of pressure.1:53:52>> A lot.1:53:53>> And I think that that also I mean that's 1:53:55a whole different conversation around 1:53:56esoterics. But it creates like a group 1:53:58energy around that concept. um that can 1:54:02like have a power of its own but it 1:54:04comes with its limits because 1:54:06>> you get injured and then oh I'm not the 1:54:08greatest I'm I'm uh 1:54:10>> who is the eye who is the eye that is 1:54:12the greatest that's the question to ask 1:54:14>> right is it that's where you get into 1:54:15like the phil the philosophical part of 1:54:17it but God flowing through you I think 1:54:19you know I've always 1:54:21>> it's funny watching people like Kabib or 1:54:22something you know cuz he's talking 1:54:24about like you know giving it up to God 1:54:25but they're beating the crap out of each 1:54:27other in UFC [laughter]1:54:28>> but it is like it a A lot of the great 1:54:31ones, they do they give it up to 1:54:32something greater than themselves. And I 1:54:35think that humbleness creates an energy 1:54:37that like it's a flow state they they 1:54:39pop into.1:54:40>> It's a surrender, too.1:54:41>> Yeah.1:54:41>> They're not like holding on to something 1:54:43of it's got to be them. They have to do 1:54:45it all themselves. It's it's a letting 1:54:47go and a surrender. And I'm going to 1:54:49>> do the best I can to deliver, you know,1:54:52my my energy in whatever event I'm 1:54:55creating. But 1:54:56>> yep,1:54:57>> the end of the day, I'm in service and 1:54:59I'm a vessel to the divine.1:55:01>> Yes.1:55:02>> And I'm expressing it through this art 1:55:04or mixed martial arts or basketball or 1:55:07speaking or whatever talent I'm 1:55:09expressing it through.1:55:10>> Yeah.1:55:11>> And I think greater things happen when 1:55:13we come from the divine than when we 1:55:14come from 1:55:15>> absolutely 1:55:16>> ego. Yes. And I've experienced that many 1:55:19times by, you know, humiliating myself,1:55:21embarrassing myself 1:55:23>> or whatever, hurting myself by thinking 1:55:26it's me rather than 1:55:29>> okay, this is something greater than me.1:55:31>> Yeah.1:55:31>> You know, or by make the emphasis more 1:55:33about look what I did versus okay, look 1:55:37what God did. I'm grateful to be able to 1:55:39express this.1:55:40>> Yeah.1:55:41>> With God in partnership in some sense.1:55:43>> Absolutely. I've got a couple final 1:55:45questions for you, but this has been 1:55:46awesome, Aaron. I appreciate you,1:55:48>> of course,1:55:48>> being in the flow state here throughout 1:55:51this.1:55:52>> Um, and I want people to follow you,1:55:54>> Aaron Dowy 44 over on social media,1:55:57YouTube, Instagram, all the places. And 1:56:01you also have, you know, you talked 1:56:02about your framework, the shift,1:56:04>> and you have the shift academy where you 1:56:06bring people through this shift method,1:56:08which I think is really powerful. And I 1:56:09know you have uh different workshops on 1:56:12this as well. So people can check that 1:56:13out as well online. Where's the best 1:56:15website for you where where they can 1:56:16check out the academy and your events 1:56:18and everything else you're doing?1:56:19>> Um, probably just Aaron.com. Okay.1:56:21>> Like my website. Yeah.1:56:23>> D O G Hty. A A R O N Dowy.com. Make sure 1:56:28you guys check that out. This is a 1:56:30question I ask everyone towards the end.1:56:31It's called the three truths.1:56:33>> All right.1:56:34>> Hypothetical scenario. You get to live 1:56:35as long as you want in this material 1:56:37world,1:56:38>> but it's the last day for you many years 1:56:40in the future. and you have 1:56:45created everything you want to create.1:56:48Um, and you've made a lot of great 1:56:50content and books and things are out 1:56:52there, but hypothetically you got to 1:56:53take all your work with you or no one no 1:56:55one has access to this message anymore.1:56:57>> Yes.1:56:58>> This conversation, your YouTube channel 1:57:00gone. Everything's gone. Hypothetically.1:57:02>> Yeah.1:57:02>> But you get to leave behind three 1:57:04lessons to the world and we would have 1:57:06access to those three lessons. I call it 1:57:08the three truths.1:57:10>> Got it. What are those three truths for 1:57:11you?1:57:12>> H 1:57:14the first one would be that you're an 1:57:18eternal spiritual being live in a 1:57:20temporary human experience. That love,1:57:23joy, and peace is your natural state of 1:57:26being. It's who you are. There's nothing 1:57:29you need to do to become worthy or 1:57:31enough. There's nothing you even need to 1:57:33be.1:57:34That 1:57:36that's who you are at your core. and 1:57:38that life is about remembering that. So 1:57:40I say that's the first one. Life is 1:57:42about remembering that. The second one 1:57:44is that in life the biggest thing we 1:57:48have the ability to control 1:57:51is just the meaning we give things.1:57:54Everything in life has no built-in 1:57:56meaning other than the meaning we give 1:57:58it. A rainy day is not good or bad. It 1:58:01just is. And when we can begin to see 1:58:04that we are the ones that generate 1:58:05meaning, we can then see that like 1:58:08that's where our power is. If you give 1:58:10something that's negative, a positive 1:58:12meaning, you will literally perceive a 1:58:16positive coming from that in some form 1:58:19because of your definition of it. So 1:58:22that'd be the second is that everything 1:58:24has no built-in meaning of the meaning 1:58:26we give it. And then the third one is 1:58:30that there's no more there's no place 1:58:32more beautiful than this present moment 1:58:35right now. That anything you accomplish 1:58:38in your life 1:58:40that is a big goal that you have that 1:58:43you're striving for, those are all good 1:58:45and great. But don't let yourself not 1:58:48love the present moment. Realize you're 1:58:51whole and complete the way that you are.1:58:52And that the more you can allow the 1:58:54divine and God to flow through you 1:58:56through your art, through your work,1:58:58through your connection to other people,1:59:00the more you'll be living in this 1:59:02consciousness of who you actually are.1:59:05That's the more you remember.1:59:06>> Yeah.1:59:08I want to acknowledge you Aaron for 1:59:11the flow state you've been in today and 1:59:13by 1:59:13>> thank you 1:59:14>> sharing I think a divine wisdom that 1:59:17you've been experiencing through all the 1:59:20challenges you've faced through all the 1:59:21work you've done the healing you've done 1:59:23and will continue to do 1:59:25>> thank you 1:59:25>> and the last time I saw you was 1:59:27literally 5 years ago and I 1:59:29>> you know I I've I I see the work that 1:59:32you've been doing energetically 1:59:34>> thank you 1:59:35>> and I acknowledge it and I'm excited for 1:59:37you, man, because I know how powerful 1:59:40you are with this presence that you're 1:59:44tapping into and the healing work that 1:59:46you're doing. Even if it sounds a little 1:59:49weird for some people, the some of the 1:59:50stuff that you've done and stuff.1:59:51>> Some of weird. Yeah. [laughter]1:59:55Uh, but I've done a lot of weird like 1:59:57healing activities that are reenactments 2:00:00and having conversations with my inner 2:00:01child and all sorts of stuff too that 2:00:03it's like 2:00:04>> you're when you feel a sense of pain or 2:00:06stuckness for 20, 30, 40 years. You're 2:00:10like sick and tired of feeling pain in 2:00:12your chest, you'll essentially do 2:00:14whatever it takes 2:00:15>> to create to remember the freedom 2:00:18>> that you are and the peace that you are.2:00:20>> Yeah. And so I know that I was willing 2:00:22to do whatever essentially.2:00:24>> Yeah.2:00:24>> Um no matter how weird it was. So I want 2:00:27to acknowledge you for being on the 2:00:28journey and being of service to people 2:00:30while also creating healthy boundaries.2:00:32>> Yeah.2:00:32>> And being [laughter] willing to be 2:00:34disliked.2:00:34>> Yeah. Thank you.2:00:35>> And uh excited to see what you continue 2:00:37to create, man.2:00:38>> Thank you.2:00:38>> Of course. Final question. What's your 2:00:40definition of greatness?2:00:42Greatness is 2:00:46I think God is greatness and being able 2:00:50to allow God to flow through. I think a 2:00:53lot of times we've been conditioned to 2:00:56believe that we're these unworthy things 2:00:59like the like the ego is the unworthy 2:01:02thing and God is this separate thing 2:01:05from us. But I believe that we are 2:01:08connected to God. And I believe that God 2:01:10flows through us when we're in a flow 2:01:12state. God flows through us in moments 2:01:14of grace and in moments of presence. And 2:01:17I believe that our life is about getting 2:01:19more to that present energy of who we 2:01:21naturally are.2:01:23>> And that is great. And greatness comes 2:01:25through when we give the credit up to 2:01:27something greater than ourselves.2:01:28>> I love that.2:01:29>> So I think that that's my that's my 2:01:31definition. And the biggest takeaway 2:01:34that you had personally from this 2:01:37conversation, what opened up for you 2:01:38personally from this?2:01:40>> I think it's that 2:01:43the, you know, prepping 2:01:46it's interesting coming to like, you 2:01:47know, a podcast like yours, you know,2:01:49great, you have an epic podcast. I think 2:01:51it was just a confirmation of the kind 2:01:53of work that I'm doing where back in the 2:01:55day like years ago if I would have come 2:01:57on I probably would have prepped quite a 2:01:59bit and had all these planned things 2:02:01that I might like stories I might have 2:02:03shared and stuff 2:02:04>> and um I intentionally like just showed 2:02:08up today knowing that like that I 2:02:10trusting that there's something greater 2:02:11that flows through 2:02:13>> and um yeah I just feel like it just it 2:02:16just flowed very nicely. So, it's a sign 2:02:18to me and a reflection to me that like 2:02:21you just bring presence to the equation 2:02:23and that's where the magic is.2:02:25>> And um I think that the the conversation 2:02:27just took on a life of its own. Yeah.2:02:29>> And it was a kind of a representation of 2:02:31the energy that we're talking about here 2:02:33>> which is of um like not having an agenda 2:02:35almost. And also play. I think that the 2:02:38the more we raise our vibration,2:02:42the more play we bring into our lives.2:02:44And when things are very serious, it's 2:02:46like very heavy, you know. And um I 2:02:50think that an intention of mine recently 2:02:51is to be to begin to bring more play in 2:02:53my life. And I think anybody that is 2:02:56experiencing any type of heaviness in 2:02:58their life, if they bring more 2:03:00playfulness to it 2:03:01>> and they have more fun in whatever area 2:03:03of life it is, they'll find they're more 2:03:05present to the moment.2:03:06>> Yes.2:03:06>> And then more beauty comes from it.2:03:08>> Aaron, appreciate you, brother. Awesome.2:03:10Thanks for being here, man.2:03:11>> Appreciate you. She made coffee [music]2:03:13for me this morning. She loves me.2:03:15You're mentally reaffirming cuz most 2:03:17people we do the negative [music] thing.2:03:19Oh, he's not talking to me today. Does 2:03:22he really love me? Oh, he [music]2:03:24couldn't make this date because he had 2:03:26to work overtime. Does he really love 2:03:28me? No, you want to practice the 2:03:29opposite. He loves me. Sheila.

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