Transcript of Macaulay Culkin Answers The Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
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0:00Hi, I'm McCauley Kulkin and this is the0:02wired autocomplete interview.0:06[music]0:08Who was McCauley Kulkin exactly?0:14All righty. Who is McCauley Kulkin named0:17after? I'm named after I think Lord0:20Thomas Babington Macaulay. He's buried0:22at Westminster uh Abbey. I brought my0:25brother there and I just started0:26dancing. He was like, "What are you0:28doing?" And I said, "Look down." And I I0:30was dancing on Macau's grave. It was0:32kind of a thing I did with my namesake.0:35I'm Macaulay Carson Kulkin. But0:37actually, but that was the way I was0:38born. My full name is Macau Mccaulay0:40Kulkin Kulkin. Uh because if anyone asks0:43me, "Excuse me, are you Mccau Kulkin?" I0:44can say McCauley Kulkin is my middle0:47name.0:48Check my wiki. Who is McCauley Kulkin0:52going to play in Fallout? I wish I could0:54tell you, but I'd have to kill you. What0:56I can tell you is that it has something0:58to do with uh Fallout New Vegas. No. Uh1:02he's a an important part of uh who the1:05ghoul and Lucy run into in Vegas in in1:08the wastelands. Uh non-spoiler uh it has1:11something to do with Kaiser's Legion.1:13That's right. I pronounced it just1:14right. Okay. Who was McCaule Kulkin in1:16the Nutcracker? I was the prince. I was1:18the prince of the Nutcracker in the1:20first act or whatever. I'm the prince1:21and then I become the Nutcracker, which1:24is uh my nickname for Brenda at home.1:26Just kidding. I don't call her that. I1:28have much much worse nicknames.1:30[laughter]1:31So yeah, I was I was in the Nutcracker.1:32I used to dance ballet. Acting just was1:34coming hard and fast and it paid more,1:36which is a good thing. Uh because uh if1:39I stuck with ballet dancing, I'd be a1:41bitter ex dancer. Uh probably opening up1:44a ballet shop and you know some strip1:47mall in New Jersey or something in1:48desperate need of hip replacement1:50surgery you know. Yeah. So who was1:52McCaule Kulkin stunt double and home1:54alone? His name was Larry is Larry. He1:57was a little person. He was much older1:59than me. And um yeah I just remember I2:01was doing my wardrobe fitting in the2:03wardrobe department and I turn the2:04corner and there's just this guy and2:07he's dressed exactly like me. I'm like2:08oh hey uh hi. And like he's like, "Hey,2:12I'm Larry." I'm like, "Oh, how wow like2:14giz? You're just dress just like me." He2:15goes, "Yeah, I'm a stunt double."2:17Because there's not a lot of like stunt2:18kids in this world. I think that's2:20because of insurance.2:23Holy sh All right. Can McCauley Gulken2:28sing? I can karaoke under the table kind2:31of thing. I don't think you'd be seeing2:32me uh playing Freddy Mercury anytime2:34soon. I like to sing in the shower and2:37so forth. Uh, would you like me to do uh2:39Take on Me by AHA right now in front of2:41you? Because that's not going to happen2:42cuz everyone forgets the high note and2:44it always messes them up during karaoke.2:47Can McCauley Kulkin drive? I've never2:50had a driver's license before in my2:51entire life. I'm 45 years old. I2:54originally chocked it up to me being a2:56New Yorker and that's kind of what New2:57Yorkers do and so forth, but I haven't3:00lived in New York in a long time. Brenda3:02and I uh we had this agreement. We don't3:04make New Year's resolutions ever. and we3:06made a New Year's resolution. I was3:08going to get my driver's license and she3:10was going to hire a wedding planner.3:12We're not married and yeah, I still3:14don't drive. So, when did McCauley3:16Kulkin host SNL? Oh, I hosted it in uh3:1991. You know who my musical guest was?3:21David Bowie. Yeah, that's right. That's3:24how old I am. I kind of did it in a3:26pretty cool year. Uh you still had like3:28the Dana Carveys and the Phil Hartman's3:31that era. Uh, but you had like um Mike3:33Myers and Chris Rock and Spade and3:36Sandler and all that kind of stuff. So,3:37it was a nice it was a nice kind of3:39bridging the gap kind of thing. My3:41father who was insane uh he made me do3:43the whole show without Qards. So, I had3:45to memorize the entire show. And the3:47crazy part is is that like even when you3:49do the rehearsals and stuff like that,3:50there's still sketches that they don't3:51make it to the live show. Yeah, I had to3:53memorize those too. Needless to say, uh3:55he made a lot of fans with the rest of3:56the cast there cuz they had to memorize3:58their lines too.3:59>> Do you know what his reasoning was? My4:00father's reasoning was is that he hated4:02when he could see somebody reading their4:04Q cards like that. And so uh he didn't4:06want me doing that. To each their own, I4:09guess. And by their own, I mean his own.4:11Uh [laughter]4:12McCaulay Kulkin. Oh, tattoos. Yeah, I do4:15have a tattoo. I have a matching tattoo4:17with my uh goddaughter. It's a little4:18spoon on my right arm over here. I steal4:20spoons. Uh it's a kind of a thing. She4:23already was tatted up. She still is.4:24She's a model starting to go to like4:26fancy parties and stuff like that. And I4:28like one of the advice later, don't ruin4:30anything, right? You when you steal a4:32spoon, it doesn't really ruin anything.4:34Don't forget to take something with you.4:36Like, you know, when you go to these4:37fancy parties or whatever, take4:38something with you. And don't forget to4:39put it up your sleeve. So, we have4:41matching tattoos up our sleeve of these4:43spoons. My kids really love it uh4:45because they still believe in magic and4:47they're young enough. They palm a spoon4:48and go and they pull spoons out of my4:51tattoo. So, they think it's a magic4:52tattoo.4:55Ah. [clears throat]4:58Oh jeez. All right. Does Maui Kogan die5:02in My Girl? Gosh. Spoiler alert. Jeez.5:07For a 34 year old movie. Yeah, I died by5:10beasting also. And I know that I make it5:12sound really sweet like, "Oh, I got5:13stung by a bee." Like, no. No. It was5:15like a whole hive. They actually5:17released a bunch of bees on me. That's5:19not a joke. I got the part and uh the5:22only way that it would go through is5:23that I had to go to an allergist and get5:25like prick test. Day comes all that5:27stuff. They put this stuff on my fingers5:29that smell like the queen bee. They're5:30like, "Oh, they're going to be attracted5:31to your fingers." So, they were like,5:32"Just wave them in front of your face."5:34They released like thousands of bees5:36onto me that wanted to have sex with my5:38fingertips. And I was a a whole uh you5:41know, just an innocent 10-year-old. That5:43 would not fly. Now, I'm I'm telling5:45you, fly. Get it. Bees fly. It's5:47actually one of those things the bee5:49handler warned me. And he goes, "Uh,5:50guess what? Bees uh fly slower than5:53people run." And I said, "Does that5:55count for 10-year-old children?" Does5:57Macaui Kulkin6:01like wrestling? Yeah, I love wrestling.6:02You kidding me? I'm a lifelong wrestling6:04fan. Actually, a well-known wrestling6:06fan, too. Recently, I went to a uh one6:08of the early uh Raws when they moved6:10over to Netflix. I got a big pop from6:12the crowd. They they showed me the6:13audience. Woo! Yay. And then I was going6:15out to the a raw a couple weeks later6:18and I was on the plane with uh CM Punk.6:20I was like, "Hey, Phil. Hey, what's6:22going on?" I said, I said, "I'm going to6:23RAW tomorrow." I said, "Good looking6:25there." He's like, "Oh, thanks. Thanks."6:26Oh, he goes, "Uh, just want to let you6:27know that me and the boys in the back,6:29we thought it was uh really funny that6:30you got a bigger pop than Roman Reigns6:32from the audience. [laughter] Did6:34McCaulay Kulkin6:36buy the Home Alone house?" No, I did not6:38buy the Home Alone house. I mean, it6:40would have been funny if I did.6:41Actually, you know, would be funnier if6:42I bought the house next door to it and6:45then was just mowing my lawn every day.6:46Go, oh, you know, just like a like a6:48cigar in my mouth kind of just like you6:50know, tummy hanging out all, oh man,6:53I've heard things stories about that6:54house. Oh, I'd avoid that, man. It's6:57been broken into so many times. I tell6:59you what, you know. Yeah. So, I did not7:00buy the Home Alone house. Although,7:02there was an opportunity there to uh7:04turn it into some kind of Airbnb7:05experience. Um, including me. I decided7:09to kind of steer away from the owning7:11the home alone house vibe, I guess. But7:13also, you know, let me know if you're7:14interested in investing.7:18Is my colleague Kulkin a nice guy? Yeah.7:23I mean, are I pleasant right now? Tell7:26me I'm pleasant. Uh yeah. No, I feel7:28like I'm a nice enough guy, you know.7:30Yeah. I try to be courteous and7:31professional when it comes to the work7:32environment and stuff. And uh my kids7:34like me, so, you know, there's there's7:36that. You know, I go over really well7:37with the three and four-year-old crowd.7:39That's that's for sure. Is Maui Kulkan a7:42gamer? I used to be. I don't really have7:44a lot of time for games so much anymore.7:46Probably the last new game off the shelf7:48that I I actually played from uh from7:50Pillar to Post was Mass Effect 3. So,7:52you know, I'm already kind of like7:53that's like a decade ago. Don't get me7:55wrong, I still circle around. You know,7:57I still do some of the Mario Karts. Me7:58and the lady will lay in bed doing the8:00Mario Kart thing every once in a while.8:02You know, it's very sexy. I'm Tanuki8:04Mario and she's like Peach, you know,8:07like that's just the game though. Is my8:09colleague Hulk friends with Joe Peshy? I8:12mean, I'm friendly with Joe Peshy. I'm8:13not even sure if he has a cell phone to8:15be honest with you. He actually golfs8:16with one of my neighbors who lives8:17around the corner and I keep on saying,8:19"Oh, you should tell him to just ring my8:20doorbell." Honestly, it'd be freaking8:22amazing. All of a sudden, just like I8:23look at my little door bird or something8:24like that. He's like, "Hey, Joe." You8:25know, it's like, "Oh gosh, you going to8:27come on in?" I'd have my kids set up8:28traps for him and stuff. You know, he's8:3082 years old. I'm sure they go over very8:32well with him. I have nothing but uh8:33kind things to say about him. He's he's8:35a nice guy.8:41McCaulay Kulkin8:44[laughter]8:47McCauley Kulkin Home Alone tour. Oh8:49yeah, I'm doing a tour. I'm going around8:52to a couple cities. We show the movie8:54and you get to watch it with other8:55like-minded people who actually also8:56like the movie. It's one thing to watch8:58it in your living room uh and just laugh8:59at those jokes. It's another to be in a9:01theater full of people that are also9:03laughing at the same jokes. I do kind of9:05a fireside chat/ Q&A afterward, which is9:08a lot of fun. Tell you some factoids9:10about the movie and everything.9:11Sometimes I'll pull your kids up on9:12stage and ask them trivia questions.9:14Really bad trivia questions with really9:16even worse prizes, but that are on9:18brand. If I'm coming through your town,9:19you should you should come see it. 359:21year anniversary. So there you go.9:23McCauley Kullan Halloween. Yeah, we love9:26Halloween in our house. Last year I went9:28as Joe Burrow, the quarterback of the9:30Cincinnati Bengals. Cuz everyone says9:31that uh he looks like me cuz I don't9:33look like him. This year I asked my uh9:35my my my oldest. I asked him what he9:37wants to be. He goes, "I want to be9:38Batman." Like, "All right, cool." And9:40what do you want my to be? Robin. And9:42like, "Okay, what do you want me to be?"9:43He goes, "A toilet." Swear to God, he9:46asked me to be a toilet. So I uh yeah, I9:49dress as a toilet. The best dang toilet9:52outfit I could put together with a9:53plunger hat and everything. I have an9:55idea for next year, but that's for next9:57year. Mi Ken. John Candy. I don't eat10:00candy on the toilet. No. Oh, no. Never10:02mind. John Candy. Uh, yeah. The actor.10:05Yes, I worked with him. I did uh three10:07films with him, actually. And also, I10:08was just in that documentary. Um, I like10:10me. It was a wonderful love letter to10:12him, and I think it really did him10:13justice. It's a nicer way to go out than10:15uh Wagons's East. The producers and10:17everyone, they wanted to consider it his10:19last movie, which I think is kind of10:21apt. I think it really did, you know,10:23again, it it really painted a a really10:25touching story of him. My colleague Kan10:28Zootopia 2. Yeah, me and my lady Brenda,10:31we're in Zootopia 2. We uh take a bite10:34of that forbidden fruit. We play brother10:36and sister.10:38I'm doing the meow thing cuz actually we10:40play cats in the movie. Usually when you10:42do animated uh uh stuff, you record in10:44separate booths and they kind of just10:45jumble it all together later. This time10:47they actually had us like in the booth10:48at the same time just kind of goofing10:50off and stuff. I love doing stuff I can10:52show my kids and so they love the10:53Zootopia franchise and they do not10:56recognize our voices whatsoever because10:58they're children of a certain age. Um11:00they just, you know, they don't like11:01these these bad cats. Like someday11:04you're going to love these bad cats. So11:10what was McCaulay Kulkin? That's what my11:11mother's been asking for years. What was11:13McCauley Kulkin? What was McCaule11:15Cullen's first role? Well, not counting11:17some studio theater I did in New York.11:19If you're asking for my first film role,11:21it was in a movie called Rocket11:22Gibralar. It was Bert Lancaster. It's11:24one of his last films. Had a bunch of11:26New York theater actors like Bill11:27Pullman, Patricia Clarkson, stuff like11:30that. I just remember they they they11:31thought it was really cute that like,11:32oh, there's this like I think I was six.11:34I was 6 years old and like I was sitting11:36down on a little like director's chair11:38next to Bert Lancaster was like, you11:40know, 80 something. And uh then you11:42know, he thinks it's funny. He turns to11:43me and he goes, "Uh, hey kid, do you11:45have any advice for me?" I'm like, he I11:48go, "Yeah, don't step on my lines."11:51[laughter] And he was like, "All right,11:53this kid's a goer. This kid's a go. This11:55kid's going somewhere." What color are11:58McCauley Kulkin's?12:01[sighs] Oh, I thought it was going to be12:03about bowel movements. Okay. Uh, what12:06color is McCull's eyes? They're mostly12:08blue. It depends on what I'm wearing.12:10Sometimes they turn a little gray,12:11sometimes they turn a little green, but12:12yeah, I got blue eyes, you know. Yeah.12:14So, what12:16band was a colleague Ken? I was in a12:20band called the Pizza Underground, which12:22is exactly what you think it is. It's a12:24Velvet Underground cover band, but12:26except we uh change all the lyrics to be12:28about uh pizza. So, it's like instead of12:29waiting for the man, it'd be Waiting for12:31the Delivery Man. Instead of I'll be12:33your mirror, it's I'm Little Caesar. You12:35know, things like that. It was one of12:36those bands that was quite relentless.12:38Uh we would rhyme mushrooms with12:40mushrooms before every show. I go, "Hey,12:41you guys ready for some uh uh pizza12:43songs?" And the crowd go, "Yeah, great."12:44Cuz the hamburger shows across the12:46street. We played Seattle a number of12:48times. We played all over the place, but12:49we played Seattle. And about the fifth12:50time we played there, I said, "Hey, how12:52many people here were at our last show?"12:54And like 90% of the audience went,12:55"Yeah." And I go, "Okay, get ready for12:57the exact same thing. 1 2 3 4." I mean,12:59we hit our ceiling pretty much. I mean,13:01it was a gig that had a a shelf life,13:03but it was a ton of fun. Got to play13:04pretend band for a while. Dem's all them13:07boards. Not surprised you guys are are13:10asking a lot of those questions. I mean,13:11it's funny cuz I I don't know what13:12questions you're going to ask because I13:14already have all the answers except for13:15the poop thing. I don't normally Google13:17myself, so it's it's interesting to see13:19what you guys are fishing around for. Uh13:22yeah, it was good times. I'm going to13:23get to keep those boards, too, though.13:25I'm I'm taking those home with me.
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