Transcript of Why Do The Kindest People Suffer The Most? | Discord Stage #41
Unlearned Wisdom by Johnny Chang
0:00Welcome back to another Discord stage.0:01This is where I talk directly with my0:03community. I tell personal stories,0:05share deep biblical learnings, and I0:06answer questions from the chat. These0:08episodes are audio only, so thanks for0:10listening. And you can join my Discord0:12to catch the next Discord stage live.0:14Link in the description. How do I get0:16rid of wanting to talk so much about0:17God? I'm not studying. I don't want to0:19s-0:19scare people away. No, by believing0:21that. Believing that talking about God0:25is not a feeling. It's a surrender.0:27Uh the more you know about God, the the0:30less you actually talk about him.0:32And the more you start to reflect him. A0:34lot of people talk, but they don't they0:36don't reflect him.0:38Uh our job is to reflect him. Right? So,0:41you'll learn. The more you guys preach0:43the gospel, the less you actually preach0:44about it, and the more you kind of live0:46about it, and the more you kind of just0:49show Jesus in your life day-to-day.0:52It's just how it is, you know? Um and0:55so, it's really cool.0:57It's not really much that you have to0:58do. You just I would rather not speak1:00and kind of learn, um you know,1:03biblically. All right.1:06Thank you for all you do. I have a hard1:07time not talking about God with my1:08family, and to some of them it's a hard1:10topic.1:11How can I be there for them without1:13bringing up God?1:14As a solution, just be there to listen1:16to them. A lot of people just want to be1:17heard.1:19And when people are1:20um understood and heard, they're more1:22inclined to to also listen.1:26Ask questions like, "Can I, you know,1:29can I1:31suggest something, or can I share this1:33with you?" Like these little questions1:35kind of allow people to put their guards1:37down.1:38There's so many people with their guards1:39up. It's kind of crazy.1:41And it's just how it is, you know? So,1:44yeah.1:45I had some Jehovah's Witness um1:48call to my door the other day. I was1:50very nice to them and let them talk. We1:52ended up having a really interesting1:53conversation.1:55I was actually able to give them back1:56some scripture only because of things1:58you've spoken about before. They're very2:00interested and even asked me where I2:02learned what I know. So, I told them2:04about you and that you're amazing.2:06One thing that really stood out to me2:08while listening to them was how strongly2:09they focus on the name Yahweh in the2:11Bible. I find myself very stuck by that2:15struck by that and just wanted to ask2:17why that is. I found it really2:18interesting. Why they're stuck on it or2:21why God's name is Yahweh. Right? It's a2:24two-part question, but yeah.2:26Hey pastor, I've been placing it placing2:28a position at church where I can share2:30the gospel. I learned a lot, but there's2:31times where my mind goes blank and I ask2:33myself, do I even know what the gospel2:35is?2:36I get asked for advice and often times I2:37feel like I just yap and I don't know2:39what I'm saying. I've been I brought it2:41to God in prayer often. I'll bring it to2:43pastor.2:44You're not alone. You have resources2:46like pastor2:47um that you can share, you know, with2:49pastor. Right? So, so bring bring your2:52resources to pastor.2:53Uh your pastor and uh I believe God will2:56work. Amen.2:58Hey, no worries. You guys are welcome.3:00Just caught up on the last five to six3:02messages where pastor Johnny cried. How3:05are you now? Thanks for being Yeah, I'm3:06I'm good. I'm I'm I'm great. Even when I3:09cry, I'm great.3:11Right? God is good. Gen- genuinely, like3:13he's amazing. So.3:15Good afternoon. So, I'm struggling with3:16anger and sadness. I found out my ex 33:18years has already got a new boyfriend3:20after 5 months of the breakup. How do I3:21steer away from this? Uh it's it's it's3:24a good thing that they moved on because3:27a lot of the times God will remove to3:29expose.3:31Um it's normal to be sad. It's normal to3:33be sad. But after 5 months, you know, we3:35also have to realize that we have to3:38kind of let go at times.3:40You know, God will never subtract3:42without multiplying, right? So, he's3:44going to give you something3:46um I could say better, but more like3:48something you need. And I understand3:50breakups are tough. Uh having your3:52heartbroken is tough. It's very very3:54tough actually, and a lot of people cope3:56with it in different ways.3:57Instead, I would invite to not cope with4:00it the way that you're used to and cope4:01with it the way that we use him, right?4:04Father God, I struggle. Please help me.4:08And I think4:09the issue is4:10uh we tend to4:12idolize people.4:14Right? We tend to just replace God in a4:16lot of ways.4:18You know, and I know 3 years is a lot of4:20a lot of time, but4:21you know, if you spend the next 3 years,4:24even if you're single, working on your4:26relationship with God, staying in these4:27main stages, and growing, I guarantee4:29you will find a woman who will love you4:31for you.4:32You know, a lot of people love me for4:34for me, right? And love me for the4:36gospel.4:38And without it, I'm really nothing. I4:40think I'm just very weak without the4:42gospel. Even with the gospel, I'm very4:44weak, you know? But I can flat out say4:48that people care about me. They come to4:50me because of the gospel.4:53And so I I would I would stay in here. I4:55would watch the salvation video. I would4:56do everything to kind of grow in the4:59gospel.5:00And then this this will allow you to,5:03you know, move forward and and and truly5:05grow.5:06You know, like5:08I I'm alone a lot of the times, but I5:10don't feel alone. I used to not be able5:11to be alone. I had to go around homies5:15and friends and, you know, physically be5:17around people. But although you're5:19alone, uh right now physically, you are5:22not alone spiritually.5:24Uh it's just the God on his truth,5:26you know? So5:27you know,5:28it says in the Bible,5:30"Seek ye first the kingdom of God."5:33Right?5:34"And all else will be added unto you."5:37You know, Matthew 6:33 speaks about5:39this.5:40Right? "Seek ye first the kingdom of5:42God.5:43All else will be added unto you."5:45What does that actually mean?5:47Right? The kingdom of God is the gospel.5:50What Jesus speaks about is the gospel.5:53Right? But the issue is we don't think5:56about it that deeply.5:58We just think about other things that6:00distract us from the gospel.6:02Right? And so6:04to seek the kingdom first is to seek the6:06gospel first because the gospel is the6:08doorway. It's the foundation6:11for God's kingdom. Jesus is the6:13foundation. Without the gospel,6:15everything else is just in vain6:16genuinely.6:17So the gospel of Jesus Christ, right?6:19Has to be the lens6:22that you which you view everything. Does6:25that make sense?6:27Right? It's It's You have to You know,6:29it doesn't mean to ignore your career.6:31It doesn't mean to ignore your6:32relationships and your goals, right? It6:34means that your career, your goals, your6:36relationships, they're no longer about6:38you. They have to be aligned with who?6:41With Christ and what he's already done.6:44Amen. Right? So like a house, for6:46example, you can decorate a house all6:48you want, but without a foundation, it's6:49going to collapse.6:51Amen. So you can have a woman all you6:53want, but if foundationally you don't6:55have a relationship with God, that will6:57collapse.6:59It's just how it is. It even happens7:00when you have a foundation. So how much7:02more so when you don't have a7:03foundation?7:04So God is saying, right? In Matthew7:066:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God7:08and his righteousness and all else will7:10be added unto you." His righteousness.7:12So trust the gospel before you trust7:15yourself or trust another person.7:16Doesn't say her righteousness, your7:18spouse's righteousness, your kids right7:20No, his righteousness.7:22Amen.7:23So the gospel is very clear.7:26You know, God's God's power is in this7:29gospel. Romans 1:16 talks about the7:31gospel of Christ. It is the power of God7:33unto salvation. So in every7:35conversation, you're supposed to point7:37to to to grace. Not preach every single7:40thing, but point to grace. How God7:41helped you, how God loves you.7:43Right?7:44And that's kind of what it comes down7:46to.7:46Right?7:47Let this gospel lead every aspect of7:50your life, basically.7:51When Jesus comes first, everything else7:54falls into place.7:55That's the beautiful thing about the7:56gospel.7:58And that's why I'm so big on it. That's8:00why I focus on it heavily, heavily,8:02heavily.8:03It's because there's nothing like I just8:04showed you showed with you guys, right?8:06I just showed you guys like all this8:08knowledge about, you know, the lamb's8:10blood and being antivenom and ovians8:14ovine serum and all but like none of8:16that matters if Jesus is not at the8:18center of it.8:20So, same thing in your relationship.8:22None of that matters if Jesus isn't at8:25the center of it. Do you guys understand8:28what I'm saying?8:29It doesn't like none of those things8:31matter.8:32Right? You have to have Jesus at the8:34center of everything, brothers and8:36sisters.8:37If you don't, then it just kind of it it8:40feels nice, you know, very temporary,8:41all these little things. It's great, but8:44the end of the day, not really8:46you know? It's not something you can8:48actually like how do I say? Like draw8:51from.8:52What you can draw from though is the8:54gospel, always, always, genuinely.8:57All right. My my ex-wife and I did IVF8:59in vitro fertilization. I was not a9:02Christian then. She wanted to destroy9:03the embryos, and I can't do that. So,9:06I'm paying to store them. I started9:07dating someone new. Should I tell her?9:09I'm embarrassed about my situation. It's9:11out of sight, out of mind, usually, but9:13it does weigh on me sometimes. I also9:15feel like my new person should know9:17about the embryos, but9:19don't know when or how to tell her. Oh,9:21that's tough. I mean, I don't really9:23know stuff about that.9:25Right?9:26Um you did this when you weren't a9:27Christian, so I would say like that's9:29okay.9:30You know?9:31Um9:32I think, however, it's important to kind9:34of9:35you know, ah I I don't know. I I9:37understand you don't want to destroy the9:39embryos. You believe it's life and9:40you're taking responsibility and you're9:42bearing the cost, you know, and that's9:44good. That's good, you know, but Mhm.9:47No, I think I think you can either9:50tell her or not tell her.9:52Uh but you have to do it by faith. I I9:54would personally tell her, but I don't9:56know is she if she's ready to to take it9:58or not. That's up to you. I don't know9:59her heart posture.10:01Right?10:01Um and I don't think it's a secret you10:03have to hide that a person I don't think10:05so.10:06Right? It's not a secret cuz you did it10:08before her. So, you can just let her10:09know, "Hey, just just so you know, like10:11and maybe you guys can come together10:13with the conclusion.10:14Right? So, I would say that.10:17But yeah.10:18You know, you can tell her, you know,10:19"There's something important about my10:20past I want to share because I value10:22honesty and I respect you.10:24Before I came to faith, my ex-wife and I10:27did in vitro.10:29There are embryos that still exist,10:31right? And I haven't you know, I haven't10:34um destroyed them, but I kind of chose10:36to store them.10:37Uh and I feel like destroying them would10:39be wrong cuz it's like destroying a a10:40life, you know?10:42I don't think it affects our day-to-day,10:44but you know, I just want you to know."10:47And then let her respond.10:49See what she has to say.10:51You know, I mean and and believe that10:53God will help you in all of those10:55things. But that that is something10:56difficult, you know?10:58But I think she will respect the honesty11:01or it can go the other way.11:03But that also will be very revealing.11:05You know, if you're honest to somebody11:06and then they use it against you, that's11:08proof that they're not your person,11:09respectfully.11:10Right? It's just kind of how it is,11:12right? I mean, I've done it. I think11:14we've all done it. And it's it's not a11:16good feeling, but maybe they're just not11:18mature enough or they trust their11:20thoughts at that moment, but have a11:21conversation with them and keep having11:23the conversation until you can't have11:24the conversation anymore.11:26It's okay to talk about things multiple11:28times. I talk about the gospel every11:30single day to you guys. And it never11:32gets old. And sometimes it does.11:34Sometimes you're like, "Dude, talk about11:35something else, bro. Like, sheesh."11:37You know?11:38Right?11:40So, yeah.11:41Greetings, Pastor Johnny. Sorry to hear11:42you are sick again. We're praying for11:44you. I need help with my unbelief11:46when it comes to healing.11:48I've been in chronic pain for almost two11:50decades, and now my teenage daughter is11:51experiencing similar symptoms. I want to11:53believe we are healed through the word,11:54but I am struggling. Can you please11:56provide some guidance? If nothing else,11:58I just want enough belief for my11:59daughter to experience healing.12:01I think you have to12:03uh cling onto Isaiah 40:31.12:06Obviously, do the things that you need12:08to do to heal. 100% that's important.12:11But you also have to believe in God.12:14You have to believe, Lord, you will help12:15me.12:16You know, even though it's been 2, you12:18know, 20 years.12:20You you receive salvation, and I think12:22God will help you.12:24But you have to believe in that.12:26And you have to ask God the same way12:28you're asking, too. Help with my um12:30Lord, I believe help my unbelief. Satan12:32tries to tell me that even after 2012:33years you're not going to help me. But12:35Lord, you let Jesus wait 30 years to12:37step into ministry. You allowed Joseph12:39and Jacob and them to wait 20 years for12:41X, Y, and Z. Like,12:43how much more so me? You love me. I know12:45you do.12:47Lord, please help me.12:48You know? And in this way,12:51uh you can also And and and also your12:53child is not your child, it's God's12:54child. So, you can also ask him about12:57that, too.12:58And when you ask sincerely, don't expect13:00anything. Just tell him. Share your13:02heart with him.13:03Like you share it here, share it with13:05him.13:06And, you know, cry if you have to, get13:07frustrated if you have to.13:10Get angry, it's okay. But just talk to13:12him.13:13Right?13:14Hearing you makes me realize I was lied13:16to about almost all of what I believed13:18to be truth for a really long time.13:19Thank you so much. Amen. Same.13:22I was lied to, too. Not just by13:24theology, but by the world. You know?13:28It's crazy.13:29Right?13:31How do I set boundaries with people with13:32God? Boundaries with people with God.13:34What do you mean by that?13:36Setting boundaries in a godly way with13:38people?13:39If that's the case, then you have to use13:42the gospel. And you have to let them13:43know, "Hey, I'm here for you,13:45but I also have a life that I serve13:47God." And don't do it in a legalistic13:50way. Be like, "I'm here for you, but I13:51just can't do certain things that are13:53worldly or like kind of are against me.13:56And I hope you can respect that." And if13:57they really do respect you, they'll13:59respect you. If they don't, they'll14:00guilt-trip you.14:01And you know, it's just what it is.14:03Right?14:04Amen. Hey, if you're enjoying this14:06episode, I have a whole other video14:08episode on all platforms, YouTube,14:11Spotify, Instagram, all that, every14:13single Monday. Each episode is a14:15gospel-centered lesson that you could14:17apply to your life today. So, this is14:19more conversational. You guys know my14:21team, Jeremy and Aaron. We just have a14:23lot of fun. We joke around, but we get14:25serious, we get vulnerable. It's just14:28very, very different, and it's14:29beautiful. I hope you guys can tune in,14:31and we made this for you guys, so please14:33enjoy. Why the Jehovah's Witnesses are14:36so stuck on the God's only name? Huh.14:39Um I think it's because they don't have14:41the gospel. When you don't have the14:43gospel, you get stuck and caught up in14:45other things.14:46Right? They think they have the gospel.14:48I I I would say that they don't. A lot14:50of their theology is very, very14:53questionable.14:55Right?14:56And so,14:57their whole theological system is built15:00on this idea that15:02using this name, Jehovah, right? Is15:06going to distinguish them from false15:09Christianity, cuz they think that15:10they're above.15:12Right? They I mean, it makes sense. If15:14you use God's personal name,15:16then you know him. If you don't know his15:18personal name, then you can't you don't15:20know him. Like, if you're just like that15:22guy, you know, like like my name's15:25Johnny, right? You would address me as15:26Johnny. You wouldn't be like that guy.15:28Oh, that Tik Tok influencer. That means15:29you don't know me like that.15:31So, the issue here is that they think15:34it's like identity or authority,15:36right? And Yehowah is Yod He Vav He,15:39right? Which is Ya Yahweh. It comes15:42from,15:43you know, the name,15:45right? And so,15:47Yehowah15:49is basically Adonai. It's It's basically15:53God's full name,15:54right?15:55Understand? But actually, even Yehowah15:59is not as close as Yahweh. Yahweh is16:02closer,16:03right?16:04But again,16:05this is why I think it's an issue cuz16:07they don't have the gospel, so they're16:08stuck on one thing. You know,16:10the Bible says God has multiple names.16:14Elohim, El Shaddai, Adonai, Yahweh,16:17father, king, shepherd, lord. I mean,16:20you know, El Gibbor,16:22right?16:23I mean,16:24right? Kyrios, right? And I mean,16:26there's just so many names for him.16:29So, if they're like, oh yeah, this is,16:31you know, the only and that's that's the16:33issue. They're They're trying to flex16:36superiority and authority essentially.16:39That's the issue here.16:40And so, that's that's what it is, you16:43know? I think that's why they Like I16:44said though, it comes down to16:46because you they don't have the gospel,16:50you know?16:51Right?16:52My thoughts have been heavy lately. Back16:54to back, I've been getting triggers that16:56are dragging me back to my past.16:58Yeah. So, you have to go to the word. Uh17:01Isaiah 43:16-19.17:03Read that carefully.17:05Uh we are new creatures, but things will17:08trigger. Things triggered me, too.17:11You know, a lot of things trigger me.17:13Um17:14you know, people are17:17I'm supposed to do a a church in the Bay17:19Area and they were just like, "Hey,17:20respectfully we we can't, you know,17:23we uh17:24don't agree with your doctrine, you17:26know, we don't agree with certain Reddit17:27posts, and we don't agree with certain17:30things that we've seen, and you know,17:32you said the Lord's prayers there." And17:33I'm just like, "Dang."17:35Like,17:36people can't see that I'm bringing them17:38to their church so that they can even17:41nurture them, right? Cuz like when you17:43look at even Pastor Israel Church and17:45Victory Outreach, when you look at17:46Whittier,17:48when you look at Phoenix, you know, uh17:51they they literally stay over there, a17:54lot of people, right?17:56And so,17:57it's so weird when people are like, "We17:59got to protect the sheep." But they come18:02they become invest like invest18:04like18:05investigative, right? They're just very18:07like, "We got to investigate these18:09things." And it's like, "Cool, that's18:10fine."18:12But what does that have to do with18:13anything about what I'm preaching about18:15right now,18:17right? It's like,18:18they don't they don't want to see above18:20that, you know?18:22Like when I seen the James Sexton18:24podcast, you know, he was being18:25vulnerable, and he was like, "Yeah, I'm18:27a heathen." Like he straight-up said it,18:29like, "I've done many things." And he's18:30probably partied a lot, and you know,18:33did a lot of stuff.18:34And he's super like being honest, and18:37then18:38he's like, "No one will love me for who18:41I am." And he lets out just that little18:43bit of honesty, and people are grilling18:45him in the comments.18:46"Oh, this guy disgusts me. He talks18:48about the deity of Christ. Don't you18:50disrespect my Messiah?" And I'm just18:52like, "Dude,18:54like18:55context, man. Read the room,18:59you know?"19:00So, people, they get triggered. I get19:03triggered. We all get triggered, but we19:05have to make a decision.19:07When God closes one door, he opens up19:09another.19:10You You the Bible is really scary about19:12one thing. It says, "I will bless those19:13who bless you and curse those who curse19:15you."19:17And God's not playing about that. He's19:19talking to believers like me and you.19:22You know, people become almost like19:25legalistic19:27and investigative and and you know and19:29and just they start to like do these19:32things of like, "We need to see the19:33truth." And it's like, "Sure."19:35You know?19:36You you should seek truth, but at the19:38end of the day, shouldn't you also be19:40seeking the word more than anything?19:43Why didn't you ask me for my statement19:44of faith? Why didn't you ask to have a19:46conversation? Why is it that my past is19:48being brought up?19:49You know?19:51And it's like it doesn't make sense, you19:53know?19:54And people like I have never once19:56genuinely went on any of these online19:59forums or even like places where you can20:01share your heart aside from like20:03gospel-centered places20:05and found any peace in that.20:08Like those chat rooms and back in the20:10day there was like those party lines20:12like, you know, in my era like20:14that it was just a bunch of trolls in a20:16room who just like fueled each other's20:18hatred.20:20Like I genuinely have never ever seen20:22anything, right? It like good come out20:25of these things.20:26Right? Our job is is to preach the20:29gospel,20:30brothers and sisters.20:32Regardless of what your past is,20:33regardless of what your present is,20:36God says, "Seek ye the kingdom and all20:38else will be added." So, let's say you20:39guys struggle with addiction.20:41What can you actively do about your20:43addiction?20:44When you preach the gospel, God says,20:47"All else will be added." Meaning, "I'll20:48fix it for you. Just keep going." And20:50it's so true.20:52I experienced this even in my own life.20:54I think you guys have too.20:57But the problem is triggers always come.21:00And Pastor John and Pastor Kim I had21:01fellowship with them and they said,21:02"Don't get caught up in that stuff.21:04Johnny, focus on spiritual life even21:06when people are focused on your21:08spiritual life. Sheesh.21:10That was such a bar.21:12You know, people who focus on other21:13people's spiritual lives have nothing to21:16show in their spiritual life. That's21:18why. They're just self-righteous.21:20He said respectfully, is that church21:21doing any works that you're doing?21:24You know, their congregation is not that21:25big. And respectfully, you know, they're21:28not really like pushing it out there,21:29but they're so like, look at me, you21:32know, we are righteous and it's like21:33we're good people.21:35And at the end of the day, guys, it's21:36all just really like pitiful things.21:39You know?21:41It was very, very sad.21:43And so,21:44you know,21:45I just I understand the triggers. You21:47know, it happens every single day.21:49And God is is showing me, too, Johnny,21:51like,21:52I will show you people who mess with you21:54for real and I'll show you people who21:55don't. You know, you don't have to worry21:57about anything. Just move forward.21:59It's all you got to do.22:01You know?22:02Amen. So, yeah.22:04Guys, daily devotionals are back. Every22:07morning I send a devotional that I22:08personally write rooted in scripture to22:10help you with your spiritual walk with22:12God and to make the gospel a habit in22:14your life. There's nothing more powerful22:16than starting your day with his word.22:18Join over 100,000 others for your free22:21daily devotional. Sign up with your22:23email using the link in the description.22:25My hope is to help you guys grow with22:27your spiritual life each and every day.22:29Pastor, I'm so thankful that our22:30fellowship for for our fellowship last22:32Saturday. That really pulled me out of22:34so much darkness. I spoke to pastor,22:36shared my true heart. Since then, it's22:38almost like the gospel has grown so much22:39more in my heart. Honestly, thank you.22:41Yeah, just be honest with him.22:43You know, like I said, guys, just share22:44your heart, you know?22:46And if you even if you didn't share with22:47him, I was saying share it with God.22:49It's not I don't share everything with22:51pastor. I share a lot of things, I do,22:53but not every single thing.22:55You know?22:56And so, it's just uh22:58it's just how it is, you know?22:59All right. Just share your heart with23:01God. Johnny, I'm about to get off23:03probation on Sunday. Congrats. And I'm23:05getting thoughts after negative thoughts23:08about using. I don't want to fall back23:10to my old ways. Yeah, that's why you23:12have to go to church. You have to find23:14something to occupy your time.23:17Because genuinely it's it's not easy.23:19It's not easy, you know? Like I get it,23:22man. I get it. I'm I'm the same. Like I23:25would be a dog without church.23:27Genuinely, I'm a dog with church, you23:29know? It's just the truth. Like I'm evil23:33when it comes to, you know, those types23:35of things, too. So, I get you. We kind23:37of just have like a high Like good23:39people who don't have lots of trauma and23:42like it's easy for them to be like, "Oh,23:44I don't struggle with this. I don't23:46struggle with that." Like that's easy,23:47you know? I'm not saying no one23:49struggles. I think everyone's struggle23:50is relative, okay?23:52But when you have like a tremendous23:54amount of trauma,23:56and I'm not saying subjectively, like23:58not in your eyes, but like you know you24:00have trauma when you don't even feel24:02like it's trauma anymore.24:05Like if you can still feel wronged,24:08I would say that's not really trauma.24:11Right? Like Like hear me out, guys.24:13Right? When you're sitting there and24:15you're like, "I was wronged." Like24:17trauma becomes your reality. Do you guys24:21understand what I'm saying? It keeps you24:23stuck in flight or flight Like fight or24:25flight. Trauma is not just like, "Oh, he24:28hurt my feelings."24:30Right?24:31So, I would say like Like I knew a24:33person who was sexually assaulted.24:35And she was a lady.24:37And she was numb to everything because24:40of it. She didn't have time to get mad24:42at people and hate men. She didn't even24:45have She was just like24:47"I don't know why I just keep running24:48away from relationships." Like her body24:51would just react.24:53Like she would find the best man who24:55would She was, you know, very24:56good-looking person and she would She24:58was conventionally attractive, and she24:59would find the best men who would want25:01to take And these are good men.25:03And she would just leave them.25:05I I I'm okay. And then we unpack that25:07she would run away when things got good25:09because the trauma bled into her life25:11that only bad things are supposed to25:13happen, and it's uncomfortable for her25:15when things are good. That's real25:16trauma.25:18Understand? She was abused by her uncle25:19for years, from 7 to like, I think 17 or25:24some crazy stuff.25:25Right? It was wild. For like 10 years25:28straight, she was abused. And in their25:30heart, she was just like, this was her25:32our conversation. So, do you feel No, I25:34actually don't feel And to be honest, I25:36think I enjoyed it.25:38Like, I mean, I did it until I was 17,25:40so I actually kind of I mean, it's25:42incestuous, but like, I I I liked it25:44though, low-key. That's trauma, brothers25:46and sisters. That's It It You You don't25:48You You feel nothing towards it anymore.25:51Do you understand what I'm saying?25:53Right? It's same thing. Like, I got to a25:56point where I was like,25:58I mean, I don't care either.26:00And then I'm like, wait, you're supposed26:01to get mad? Like, for example, guys,26:04when I look at Jeremy, I realize how26:06traumatized I am.26:08You know, I'm not saying Jeremy didn't26:09go through a lot of trauma, he did.26:10But, he'll ask me questions or he or26:13we'll like see a movie or some and,26:16you know, or I'll I'll detail something,26:18you know? And26:20he'll be like, "Oh, bro, don't talk26:21about that. Like, stabbing someone, oh,26:24man, like, the blood Oh, bro, I'm I'm26:26about to throw up." Like, that's the26:28difference. Where I'm just like, "Oh,26:30yeah, no, it's fine." Guys, I've seen26:31people shot with their brains hanging26:33out, gen- genuinely, and it doesn't do26:35anything to me. I think that's trauma.26:38I don't think a normal person would be26:40like,26:41"Oh, yeah. Okay." Like,26:43a normal person would be like, "Oh, my26:45god!" They'll like scream.26:47But, I've never screamed. Genuinely,26:49I've never been Oh, my god! What Oh!26:51Like, I've never done that. To me, I've26:53seen people get stabbed in front of me.26:55I've seen people get stomped out. I've26:57seen like it doesn't I don't react.26:59I'm very desensitized to it. So, I would27:02say that's trauma. I'm not saying you27:03guys don't. I think there's levels of27:05trauma, absolutely.27:07But if you're completely disassociated,27:08I think that's the highest level.27:11You know what I mean?27:12And so,27:13you know, I've I've learned too that27:16like it's it's like if you complain and27:19you're you're focused on those things,27:21like I I would say you're not27:22traumatized enough. Like I think you're27:25just complainful and feel wronged.27:28There's a difference of trauma and being27:30wronged, okay? And two of them kind of27:32go hand in hand, yes. Cuz every person27:34that was traumatized is wronged, but not27:36every wronged person is traumatized.27:39That's the truth. I've noticed that.27:41Right? And so, you know, I27:44yeah, I I I I think like it's just27:46different. You know, so do I struggle27:48with a lot of things because of my27:49trauma? Absolutely.27:51Like I I I'll be talking and I'll be27:53like, "Huh?" I'll be talking about some27:55gruesome things and Aaron and Jeremy27:57will literally be like, "Dude, what?27:58That's psychopathic." And I'm like,28:00"Yeah, I know. It's kind of crazy, huh?"28:03So, so28:04they just look at me like, "Whoa, dude.28:07Like, you know." And and so,28:09I think I think you know, um we don't28:13have to be frustrated about other people28:15and you know, things like we just have28:17to realize like28:19how to mark if you have real trauma and28:21these real triggers is that even when28:23the triggers come, you just like sit in28:26it. You just fall back, you know?28:29So, pastor was also explaining that um28:32although you feel numb to these certain28:34things, Johnny,28:36you're still righteous and perfected. I28:38hope you believe that. And I was like,28:39"Huh, amen."28:41You know, don't focus on anything too28:43crazy. And I I want to share share with28:45you guys.28:46You know, don't focus on anything crazy,28:48brothers and sisters, in your life.28:51Rather, just focus on the gospel.28:53You know, don't focus on how people did28:55you dirty. Don't focus on like you'll28:57sit there and and you will die to that.28:59I I I'm not lying. You will die.29:01You will literally be so caught up in BS29:05all the time29:07that you just you will not be able to29:09grow at all,29:11you know?29:12You'll literally sit there and just29:14man, it's it's crazy,29:16you know?29:17And and you can't say that all of your29:20things are right. Like I was talking29:21about this earlier,29:23right?29:24Like for example, people are like like29:27the biggest unlock in life, guys, that I29:29can give you is to step out of the realm29:31of your own thoughts.29:33That even though what seems right in29:35your eyes may not actually be right. And29:38I'll explain.29:39I'll explain, right? So,29:42you know,29:43if you want to be happy, you have to29:45learn to think outside of the box of29:47your brain.29:49Because people don't realize your brain29:51can be can either free you or it can it29:53can keep you in bondage. It can imprison29:55you.29:57Okay?29:58That's genuinely how you guys know29:59exactly what I'm talking about. But let30:00me explain deeper.30:02When you look at the company 3M, right?30:04You guys have heard of this company 3M.30:06It has the famous 3M and it's you could30:08peel the the thing back. It makes30:10adhesives where you can do a coat hanger30:13or, you know, hang up certain things.30:15They make like tape and adhesive for30:17people,30:18right?30:19It's um very big.30:22And so,30:23the person, right? Art Fry, he was a30:26scientist30:28and30:30he worked for them.30:32And he made office supplies, but before30:34they even made office supplies, they30:35were a adhesive glue company. Did you30:38know that? They just made glues.30:40And so, they wanted to make the strong30:42glue, stronger than super glue. At that30:44time super glue was obviously had the,30:46you know, had the the juice.30:48So they were creating this and they kept30:51failing.30:52So circumstantially30:54in the circumstances,30:56right?30:57Shouldn't they have quit? Yes, because31:00they're like, "Look, we made this thing,31:02we're pouring all of our research into31:04it, we're pouring all of our money into31:05it and we don't and this thing is like31:07not sticky at all. It's not strong as31:09super glue. It's just not working."31:12And so Art, he's a believer. So he goes31:15to church one day and he's singing in31:17his hymnals and31:19all of a sudden, you know, his31:21bookmark keeps flying out like when he's31:23singing and he's like, "Dude, if I could31:25just have something like this bookmark31:26stick here and if I had like multiple31:29bookmarks cuz sometimes I want to sing31:30here and then I want to go to this Bible31:32verse, right?" That idea came to him.31:35And then it opened his mind. Instead of31:38thinking, "Dang, we failed, we failed."31:41He created a a solution to a problem31:43that he didn't even know he had.31:46So he didn't give up. He stepped out of31:48his mindset. But imagine if he didn't.31:50Imagine if he was like, "My my own31:52desire and my mindset is I want to be31:55the greatest crazy glue company." Then31:58he would have been limited to that. Do32:00you understand?32:013M got big because of the Post-its. So32:06that little glue that they deemed a32:08failure in their eyes, circumstantially32:11too,32:12was actually their greatest success.32:15Huh.32:15But they had to step out of their32:17mindset32:19to in order to obtain this.32:21Are you guys following me here?32:23In the same way,32:26right? In the same way,32:28you may think like32:31all these things happening to you and32:32that happened to you is bad and trauma32:35and he's wrong, she's wrong, he32:37shouldn't do that, she should like you32:39may have this energy, okay? Which is32:41fine, you're allowed that.32:43But if you learn to step out of that32:45mindset, you will grow.32:47You know, me too, like32:49I was molested, right? By a woman, and I32:51think it got to the point where32:55I didn't care about like I had that32:57trauma where I didn't care. I was 1233:00years old, I was roofied, and the woman33:02was 17.33:04Right? And33:05she died shortly after, right? And I33:08never really had like vengeance, or I33:09never really had like I felt like my33:12innocence was tampered with. I felt like33:14I had no control of my life. And from33:16then on, I just wanted to control my33:18life. So, my view on women, I think at33:21that time was completely tainted. At the33:23age of 12.33:25I was like, these girls are just here to33:26do this to me, and if that's the case,33:28then I have to do that to them, and33:30right? There's like this trauma that33:31builds.33:32And so,33:34I used to always like I got saved,33:37and I used to always wonder why God33:38allowed that to happen to me.33:41Right? That was the one thing that I33:42didn't want to share with anybody,33:44because that's like embarrassing.33:46Right? To say that you got molested, and33:49then found yourself like next to a33:51dumpster with your pants by your ankles,33:54and like you know what I mean? It's like33:56weird to say stuff like that to people.33:58And so, I couldn't understand why God34:01allowed that. Even after being saved, I34:02was actually more questioning.34:04Right? Like, what the hell, dude?34:06And I thought in my own frame34:10of mind that that only happens to me.34:12Like I knew women would get sexually34:14assaulted. I didn't think men did. I34:16just don't know why. I just it it just34:17was that thing where it's like, you34:19don't hear about that often.34:21Understand what I'm saying?34:23Right? You don't hear about that,34:24genuinely.34:26And so, I'm like, okay, I'mma keep this34:28a secret, and I'm just going to keep34:29pushing it.34:30Right? But then God, right? He showed me34:33something one day.34:35And it was only recently that I figured34:37out why I needed to go through what I34:39went through.34:40So, my frame, my thought, my logic was34:43yo, why did I need to get assaulted34:46sexually?34:47Like, of all things, where is the lesson34:49in this? My good You guys ever feel like34:50that? Where the hell is the lesson in34:52all of this?34:53Right? And then one day this was only34:56recently, like 3 years ago.34:59Right? Two 2 years ago, 2 and 1/2 years35:00ago. I started offering like one-on-one35:03mentorships.35:04Do you understand?35:06And I started to notice a pattern. Not35:09just with women, but with men, too. That35:11most people35:13like 70 to 80% of people that I spoke to35:17were in some way, shape, or form victims35:20of sexual assault. And then it clicked.35:24Because when they spoke about it it was35:27a lady who spoke about this to me.35:30I opened up and said wow I know exactly35:34how you feel. And she kind of looked at35:35me like, what? And I even said in cuz at35:38that moment my brain unlocked. I was35:40like, oh.35:42That's why I had to go through this35:46because I can relate to you.35:48And then she started crying and you35:49know, it was like, oh my gosh, that's so35:51true.35:53Right?35:54And so, thank you, Matthew. And so35:56that like how long did it take though?35:58From 1236:00to 24 and then from 24 to just recently36:043336:06right? If from 12 to 20 to 33, that's 2136:10years.36:11Right? If my math serves me right. It36:14took for me to go, oh, that's what it36:15was.36:16Un- understand what I'm saying? And so36:19I had to also step out of my my mindset.36:22But let's say I didn't. Let's say if I36:24was like, no, sister, they're freaking36:25wrong. They're evil. They're blah blah36:27blah. Like like I could do that. But do36:29you think it would have freed that woman36:31from her trauma?36:33I don't think so. I think the36:35relatability allowed her to go, "Wow,36:37Johnny. Like I don't feel so alone. I36:39get it.36:40You know, and I understand that you36:42understand and even from a man cuz I36:44hated men." She said, "Because of that I36:46hated men.36:47And all my relationships failed because36:49I always would just be like, if you36:51touch me a certain way, like you trigger36:53me to think about the man that did that36:54to me.36:55But then here you are preaching the36:57gospel36:58and like you're going through it, it37:00gives me hope37:02that I can heal, too.37:03Because if you got healed, it doesn't37:05just happen to women.37:07And for the longest time I thought it37:09did. And I'm like, for the longest time37:10I thought it did, too. Like genuinely I37:13thought it only happened to but I've37:14heard aunties and babysitters, like37:17girls who are doing that to to men, too.37:20Right? I didn't know that. I genuinely37:22didn't know. I thought I was I thought I37:23was an anomaly. I was like, what37:25And yeah.37:28You know, this Sagittarius, you know,37:29stuff. And I'm like, "Dude, this is37:31crazy."37:33And so from that I was able to kind of37:35like peace that in my heart and go,37:37"Whoa, God. Like I wasn't looking for37:39the peace. I was wasn't even looking for37:41the answer.37:43And yet you kind of showed me what it37:45was.37:46You know?37:47And so it was really cool. And then then37:50I started to talk about it more.37:52Because I'm like, "Huh, maybe this will37:54actually relate to And then when I did37:56that, then you guys also were like, "Oh,37:58it makes sense. Like I also went through37:59that. Oh, he gets it."38:01You know?38:02Like to feel robbed of something is not38:04a Like I've already Like I feel like my38:06whole life I've been robbed. I've been38:08robbed of my freedom. I've been robbed38:09of my, you know, my my innocence. I've38:12been robbed of my my right to a peaceful38:14family. So robbed of my peace, robbed of38:16my childhood, robbed of my adulthood38:19even. Like it's just a lot. And so I38:22wanted control of something and I And38:23the only thing I would do was we cope38:25with women.38:26Right?38:27And there's times where we we we slip38:29back into that, right? Transparently38:31speaking, of course.38:33But people don't understand that. Like,38:35you know what I mean?38:37Right? So,38:38you know,38:39I always use this example, but like38:41also, people who are true sinners don't38:44condemn others for sinning.38:46Do you know why?38:48Because if they did that, they would it38:50That would That That doesn't make sense.38:52Like38:53like a woman that that I know was was38:56raped and38:58she could just tell by looking at39:00someone else39:02that they were raped.39:04Like, I could tell if someone has a a39:06checkered past,39:07especially a gang member, cuz I lived39:09it, right?39:11So, in the same way, like a person who's39:13been assaulted can see how another woman39:16copes and figures it out herself, too.39:18How they self-soothe, and right? They39:20understand, too.39:22So, I've never like the only women that39:24judge other women who are sexually39:26assaulted is women who haven't been.39:29Do you understand what I'm saying?39:31Right? And or they don't think that39:34their trauma is trauma. Because when39:36they see how someone reacts, then they39:38can only have compassion. Why? Cuz they39:40understand.39:42So, a sinner who judges other people for39:44sinning differently is not a true39:46sinner. Yes, they say that they're39:48sinners, but in their heart, they're39:50not. Does this make sense, brothers and39:52sisters, what I'm saying?39:53They could say, "I'm a sinner. I'm a39:55sinner." But like, I could say, "I'm a39:58I'm a gang member. I'm a gang member. I39:59understand. I emphasize." But guys, you40:01guys need to stop carrying guns. Like,40:03what do you mean? I carried a gun. I40:05would be a hypocrite. Do you understand40:07what I'm saying?40:08Oh, you guys need to stop doing drugs.40:09What are you talking about? I did drugs.40:11Right? So,40:13anyone who sits there and judges you,40:16I'm going to be honest, they can only40:18judge because they think they're better40:19than you.40:20And you only judge because you think40:22you're better than them.40:24Are you guys understanding what I'm40:25saying?40:26That that's the only reason why you40:28can't cuz you're not living like them.40:30But just because you're not living like40:32them, guys, count it all as grace, God40:34says.40:36Do you understand? You have grace and40:38mercy not to live like that.40:40Right?40:41You have grace and mercy not to be40:43diagnosed, you know, bipolar or40:45narcissistic. You're not better than40:47them.40:48Narcissistic people, I've met real ones40:50who were NPD. They They hate being the40:53way that they are, actually. And that's40:55biblical.40:56Right?40:57It's I've I've seen it firsthand.41:00It's a real disorder. People throw it41:02around, narcissism, narcissism, he's a41:04class A narcissist. It's like, but41:05you're not a psychologist, neither are41:07you a pathologist. Like, you don't know41:09what that is.41:10Right? When I see them and I deal with41:13them, like, in prison, there are people41:14who have a lot of mental illnesses and41:16they are diagnosed narcissistic,41:18schizophrenic, bipolar, NPD,41:22right? BPD,41:24all these different disorders.41:26They never want to be that way. When I41:28see them, my heart cracks41:31cuz I'm like, dang, they don't want to41:32be this way. There's either chemical41:34imbalances in their brain or something41:36that happened so bad that this is41:38they're permanently It's almost like a41:39on switch. They're permanently stuck on41:42that mode.41:44And many of us are like that, too. Maybe41:46not with depression and loneliness, but41:48with sin.41:49So, what makes us better? That's why,41:51guys, if any of you guys41:53I I ask any of you guys to If you want41:56to be humble,41:57to truly serve people in the worst41:59places.42:01Go to prisons and meet with people. Go42:04to Africa, go to places Brazil, third42:07world countries that literally42:10have nothing.42:11And struggle with them for a little bit42:13and you will see that you have so many42:15things to be thankful about.42:18You will see dang, I'm not even like42:21tripping that much.42:23And everything becomes so so much42:25smaller. Like when I went to Liberia,42:26Africa,42:27I hated my pastor so much. I hated42:30everyone for sending me there. But later42:33I started to realize something. Dang,42:35I'm spoiled, man. My problems are not42:38problems compared to these people.42:40You know?42:41Right?42:43My problems are not These these children42:46have nothing. Literal nothing. They have42:49to hike for their water. They have to42:52work multiple hours a day to make like42:55pennies on the dollar. Like42:57it's horrible.42:59Understand? It's horrible, man.43:01Honestly, it's horrible their living43:03conditions. And yet they're happier than43:05me and you.43:07You know, in Liberia, Africa, just like43:09Pastor John said, he's not lying.43:11He said, "I learned to be thankful."43:14That was wild when he said I'm like43:16that's facts. But you can't explain this43:18to people.43:20They have to go through it.43:22Y'all understand what I'm saying, right?43:24I can't explain that to you guys. I43:26don't know how to explain it, you know,43:28as much as I You have to kind of be43:29like, "Oh, this is what it means." So43:31guys, I'm very thankful.43:33Count everything a blessing, sad and43:35good.43:37Right? But people are so stuck in their43:39self-righteousness and in their43:41judgment.43:42Guys, that's what's going to kill you.43:44Do you understand what I'm saying?43:46That's what's going to kill you.43:48Is if you're43:50right, then that means Pastor Kim has a43:53famous line. If you're right, that means43:55God has to be wrong. What he's taught me43:58through these years and I still struggle43:59with44:00is44:02when you are wrong, that's when you're44:03right.44:04Because that's when God helps you.44:07Being wrong is being right. You know?44:10So, whatever people have done to me,44:12like I released that woman, too, you44:15know, in my heart. And whatever people44:17have done to you guys, if you want to be44:19happy, you have to learn to release it.44:21Today, I hope you guys can release that.44:23You know?44:24Cuz we we we don't forgive people cuz44:27they deserve it. We forgive people cuz44:28we deserve it. You get me?44:31Right? Amen. We deserve to be freed.44:34Right? So,44:36move on. Whether it's a person like your44:38family member who hurt you, I'm sorry.44:40But they were also hurt by somebody. And44:43And I'm not excusing their behavior.44:44Please. Please, don't take this the44:46wrong way.44:47But I'm saying that's why God was nailed44:49to the cross, even for that person. And44:52that's why God was nailed to the cross,44:53even for me.44:55Cuz I hurt a lot of people.44:57I hurt so many people inadvertently,44:59intentionally, unintentionally. I know.45:02I know I do. Like I have to stand in45:04front of God, you know, always.45:07And so, what I've learned though is45:09like, yeah, I'm wrong.45:11And God, you have to help me.45:13And then nothing becomes a problem after45:15that. Nothing becomes a problem,45:17brothers and sisters.45:18It's actually really amazing. You get45:20freed from it. And you move forward.45:22Amen.45:23All right, guys.45:25All righty, I got to go.45:26See you guys later. Bye.
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