Transcript of The "Normal" Sin Jesus Never Forgives (Are You Doing It?) | #059| Unlearned Wisdom
Unlearned Wisdom by Johnny Chang
0:00Today we'll be talking about is0:01struggling or failing a sin. Does God0:04forgive repeated sins? And towards the0:06end, we'll be uncovering whether or not0:08a Christian can actually stop sinning.0:11Can they actually stop sinning? Who0:13knows? Welcome to another podcast with0:15yours truly, Pastor Johnny Chang, where0:17each episode is a gospel- centered0:19lesson that you could apply to your life0:21today.0:22>> Today. Like, comment, and subscribe.0:24>> And0:26there's an app out. Everyone download0:27the new app. and0:29>> uh text in after to 3236133 3577 if you0:33want to go to free live events0:34>> and listen to the audio. Come on, man.0:36You have one line every week.0:37[clears throat]0:37>> Download the audio.0:39>> Download and listen to the audio, guys.0:41So, uh, yeah, today I I I kind of chose0:44this,0:46uh, topic because I was meeting with0:48some pastors over the weekend in0:50Florida, and I started to see that the0:53common question for a lot of these0:55pastors, there's a guy that I'm not0:57going to say which one, but he was um,0:59not in our he's not in our network, but1:00he was a pastor who is kind of like very1:03dear to us. And bro was like um1:07struggling with certain sins that he he1:10has not uh given up. I I don't think it1:13was a lustful thing. I think for him1:15though it was more of like1:17like uh1:21he he doesn't lust. It's not like not1:24lust, but it is also like not not lust1:27if that makes sense. Right. So he1:29doesn't like watch porn or do any of1:32those things.1:34But in his mind, he kind of thinks about1:38more like what if the grass was greener1:40on the other side,1:42>> but not not in a way where he wants to1:45leave his wife, Pastor.1:48>> It's more of like did I did I did I1:51marry the right person1:54like because church told me to or was it1:57really because I wanted to be with that1:59person?1:59>> That's a scary thought. I'll see him2:02like he'll he'll kind of like have that2:03energy of like, well, what if I was with2:05this girl versus like my girl? It's like2:07this thing.2:08>> How How long have they been married for?2:10How old is this guy?2:11>> 20 something years.2:13>> Dang.2:13>> And he's had this the whole 20 years or2:15recently?2:15>> No, he's recently. So, he's just been2:18like, "Yo, I don't know what it is." And2:19he he he kept it vulnerable with with2:21me, which was really good, which I2:23thought was crazy. But that made me2:25think about like, man, there are people2:27who are saved2:28>> and they're still like struggling with2:31thoughts like this, right? And it's like2:33I I honestly, not that I was stumped,2:35but I kind of sat there and I was like,2:37man, let me try to read pastor's heart2:39because it wasn't like it's weird when2:43when Okay, it's easy when you can guide2:45somebody who's not a pastor cuz you're a2:48pastor, you guide somebody who's not a2:50pastor. is just when it's like a pastor2:52guiding another pastor,2:55it gets tricky, right? Because you're2:57you're just like they know what they2:59know. You also know what you know, and3:01then it's kind of difficult to like find3:02that middle ground. But anyways, it was3:04[snorts]3:05what incited kind of what uh this3:08episode was about. There's a lot of3:09people, not just like that pastor, which3:11I appreciate that pastor for being3:13vulnerable, but there are a lot of3:14people who struggle with sins and think3:18that the struggle like him and the3:20failure is like what this like is what3:23sin is,3:24>> right? Like you're like he he kind of3:25had this energy of like I can't struggle3:28and I shouldn't be thinking like this.3:30That's what the sin is,3:32>> right?3:32>> Versus like actually going out and3:34sinning, right?3:36>> So, I wanted to kind of peel those3:37layers back. Personally, it made me3:39think also about when I was sinning.3:40Like, number one, I thought a lot of3:43these pastors were so much better than I3:45was because although they may not have3:46biblical salvation, and this is not no3:48disrespect to them, we hashed that out3:50and and he realized that, you know, he3:52had like a little bit of wrong thinking3:54when it came to salvation. But prior to3:58that, I was like, "Dude, I these guys4:01are so much better than me." Because4:02they don't even act on it. When I first4:04got saved, I acted on everything. Bro, I4:08remember like telling this pastor and4:11and his he looked at me and he was just4:13like, "Bro, I don't have any problems4:15compared to you." Like, so I told him4:17basically that I was like, you know,4:19pastor, I was literally smoking a4:21doobie. Like I was smoking a a blunt and4:24I was saved at this time. I wasn't a4:26pastor, but I was saved. And I was with4:27my homies. I was with Whisper and I was4:30with a couple homies. And I was like4:32smoking. And I was like, you know, you4:33guys got to like not trust your4:34thoughts. You got to like follow the4:37word of God. You know, we're perfected.4:40And the homies were like, "Bro, what4:42kind of cult are you in?" [laughter]4:44>> Yeah.4:44>> Why are you smoking and telling me that4:46you're righteous and perfected his4:48place?4:49>> So, I told him that and the pastor just4:51looked at me like,4:52>> "I don't think this is the right like4:54this isn't the right.4:55>> Should I be taking advice from this4:56guy?"4:57>> Yeah. Yeah.4:57>> But after that, I was able to see like4:59for the first year, I felt like, man, I5:03struggle so much with like the weed5:05addiction and obviously the the bumpies5:08and like the drinking and then the lust.5:11Like I I was like, man, how do I how do5:14I say that I'm a Christian when I'm5:16going through all of these things,5:17right?5:18>> But the beautiful thing about um just5:20walking through that journey is that5:22over time, some things quit cold turkey.5:25like smoking sigs was gone right away.5:27Smoking weed didn't go away right away.5:30Um,5:32uh, watching, you know, porn and things5:34like that went away right away, but5:36lusting towards women physically still5:38was there.5:40Uh, what else did I tell him? Um, the5:43drinking aspect. So, I would still kind5:45of drink a little bit, but like that I5:48would say was pretty pretty kind of went5:50away without much fight.5:53And and then anger was difficult for me.5:56Like I would still pop off. I would I5:58would be like, "Yeah, we're righteous."5:59And then as soon as someone challenged6:00me, boom, I just like6:02>> still struggle with that. And until this6:03day, I think there's parts of it where I6:05still struggle with, but not as much as6:07before. Thank God.6:08>> But [snorts]6:09having that heartto-he heart with the6:11pastor made me kind of think like, oo,6:14this is going to be a good topic for6:15like other people to actually hear6:17about, you know? So at the end of the6:19day, um I I I I think we're super what I6:24told the pastor which unlocked it for6:26him was we always have our own standards6:29and expectations on what we should be6:31doing at a specific time. So for6:33example, I said to the pastor, you're6:35you've been married for 20 plus years.6:37You have this expectation that you6:39should not think like that. But I'm sure6:41if you open up the brains of a lot of6:43other pastors, I'm sure that they also6:45feel some type of way like that, too.6:47They may not say it, but I think deep6:49down they may feel like that too. And so6:52what Pastor Kim told me all the time,6:55even though I would be struggling, was6:57he would he would go, "Johnny, I really6:59love that you share your heart about you7:01struggling, though." Whereas like a lot7:03of people would be like, "Yes, pastor.7:05Yes, pastor. Yes, pastor." But don't7:07share their heart as to what they're7:08actually struggling with. Whereas me, it7:11was like I couldn't help but share it7:12because I was like, "How do I get over7:15this? I hate feeling like this, you7:16know. So, I see that a lot in core of7:18the heart. And I think the simple act of7:22just sharing your heart is what actually7:26alleviates and allows you to like7:28overcome any type of problem. Cuz if you7:30don't share your heart, like the pastor7:32hasn't been sharing with other people. I7:33guess he was vulnerable enough to share7:35with me. He was holding on to it for7:38like a little while and I could see that7:40it was eating at him. And every time7:43that I held things in, it it ate at me7:46really really heavily, too.7:48>> It's interesting that he's struggling7:49with like maybe this regret of should I7:52have gotten married or maybe regret7:53having thoughts about other women, but7:55really the and he considers that the7:57sin, but you're saying no, the sin is7:58more his guilt of even thinking that's8:00the sin, which is super interesting.8:02>> Well, that's what he said. He's like,8:03"Am I sinning then?" Because that's that8:06was his question. Like, am I sinning8:08because I'm struggling? And I was like,8:10"Yo, I haven't had that asked in a very8:13long time." So I was like, "That's got8:15to be the first like that's got to be8:16the first question I have to answer,8:17right?" He's like, "So me struggling,8:19Johnny, and me thinking like that and me8:21failing cuz if if my wife was to know8:24what was in my head, I would she would8:27100% be like, "Yo, what?" She'll feel8:30some type of way about it, right? So,8:32>> I was like, "No, the the fact that you8:34So, I told him, no, the fact that you're8:36struggling is proof that you're saved,8:39>> right?"8:39>> And then he was like, "Huh?" Like, "What8:41an interesting concept." He literally8:42just said, "That's an interesting8:44concept. Can you explain further?" I'm8:45like, "Think about it." Right? And I8:47told him, "If like sin has to doesn't8:52resist itself, right? Like sin has a an8:55an opponent which is like righteousness8:57and good. So if you're feeling struggle9:00in the sin, that means there's a9:02resistance here. Where is that9:04resistance coming from? It's coming from9:05good, right? And so,9:08um, he was able to kind of conceptualize9:10that and be like, "Oh, the fact that I'm9:13sinning, the fact that I'm I'm9:15struggling, I mean, is proof that like9:17there is some kind of resistance to my9:19sinning versus like," and I I explained9:22to him before I received salvation, I9:24literally would not feel any bad for any9:27wrongdoing. I would just do everything I9:30wanted to. Oh, I want to sleep with this9:31girl, I'll sleep with this girl. Oh, I9:32want to go drink, I'll drink. I want to9:34do drugs, I'll do drug. didn't feel like9:36oh man I shouldn't be doing this like oh9:39my gosh like what's wrong with me like9:42so I I expressed that to him you know9:44and he goes okay then the thing about it9:47is like when I speak like this I think I9:50don't know what it is but it may I guess9:52it's too simple to grasp so then he9:54starts throwing out like uh9:56hypotheticals so he goes okay so what9:58would you say then to a drug addict like10:00if a drug addict is like I want to keep10:03you know I want to stay in my addiction10:04I love my addiction. Isn't that a sin?10:06Like isn't that like like you should10:08want to transform and step out of that,10:10right? Why would you want to stay in10:11that? You're basically telling me,10:13Johnny, that I it's okay for me to just10:15sit there and be like, you know, uh uh10:18wanting to have another woman, right?10:20And I was like, "No, I never said that.10:22I'm saying the fact that you're10:23struggling is proof that you don't want10:25that. Cuz if you wanted it, you would10:27just do it. You wouldn't even come and10:28we wouldn't even be having this10:29conversation, right? Secondly, I10:32explained the addiction aspect. People10:34are not addicted to like that addiction.10:39Like they're they're not addicted, let's10:40say, to lust. They're addicted to what10:43lust provides for them. That's a10:44temporary comfort,10:46>> right? So when you when you replace that10:48with true comfort, which is God or the10:50gospel or whatever, it could be10:52anything. You could work out whatever it10:53is to replace it. You'll see people10:55start to taper off even on the lust,10:58right? People always say, "Oh man, you10:59know, with men, it's so difficult to11:00overcome lust." Not necessarily. It's11:03difficult to, you know, because the11:06thing about lust is that it's like your11:08savior before your savior. If that makes11:10sense. That's what I told the pastor.11:12Addictions, lust, all those things are11:14your saviors before your savior. What11:15that means is like you have one savior,11:17Jesus Christ. But like if you allow, you11:22know, lust to be your comforter, lust to11:25save you out of like anxiety and11:26depression and loneliness, you just hop11:28on and just watch porn. or like you11:30don't want to think so much. So you go11:32you run to drugs to then like drown out11:34all of those intrusive thoughts. Now11:36that's become your savior. That's what11:38you're depending on now. And that's your11:40savior before your savior. Your11:41comforter before your comforter11:43basically. And so he was able to kind of11:45see that. And he's watched all my stuff11:47which I also think is really crazy.11:50There's so many people that go, "Bro, I11:51watch you all the time." But it's like11:53during certain moments with certain11:55heart postures, what I say will just hit11:58them. like they'll go, "Oh my gosh,12:00that's what you were saying the whole12:01time." Yeah. Like I heard that12:03>> a million times already. I heard12:05distrust your thoughts. I heard X, Y,12:07and Z. But at the end of the day, like12:09they're literally just sitting there12:10going like, "Oh, I get it now." You know12:13what I mean? So,12:14>> you can't wake a sleeping dog. Have you12:15ever heard of that? That saying there's12:17this dog sleeping in the middle of the12:18street and you know it's going to get12:20hit by a car. You're in your best12:22interest. You want to go wake it up, but12:23if you wake up the dog, it's not going12:25to understand what you're doing and it's12:26going to bite you. It just thinks you're12:28just waking it up. It doesn't know why.12:29You have to let it kind of be in the12:31street and almost get hit by the car to12:32ever realize why you had to wake it up.12:34But you can't wake a sleeping dog12:35sometimes. You could hear things a12:36million times and until it actually12:38applies in your real life, then it12:40clicks and they say, "Ah, that's what he12:42was saying."12:42>> Y12:43>> um crazy.12:44>> Why do Christians treat each other's12:47failures or their own failures worse12:49than God does? Like where do you think12:50that comes from?12:51>> Condemnation, number one. And then also12:54not understanding the concept that like12:59they think that everything is13:00performative because that's you can't13:02blame people for that. Like at the end13:04of the day everything is performative.13:06Everything is transactional. If I go to13:08school and I don't study and I don't do13:11well, I'm getting a F. There's no way13:13around it. Right? So from a young age,13:16you're you're literally getting13:18indoctrinated. like it's ingrained in13:19you that if you don't perform and you13:22don't do good,13:24then you're going to reap what you sow,13:25you're going to literally if you're13:27lazy, you're going to have lazy results.13:29Like that's just how it is. So when they13:31sit there in front of God, they're13:34thinking, "Bro, God is this person who's13:38watching me. If I if I claim to love13:41him, but I'm not doing what he says,13:43then I don't love him. Like, how is he13:45going to be happy with me?" and they13:46literally beat themselves up extra,13:49right? But the issue also is not13:51understanding salvation. And I said this13:53to the pastor too. I was like, a lot of13:56people have this mindset cuz he he asked13:57me, Johnny, in your congregation and and14:00just in general, what do you see that's14:02the most difficult thing for people14:04right now, right? Like what do you see14:06that that that people are struggling14:08with in the Christian community? And I14:10said, uh, performance like what we're14:12talking about now, which is what, you14:15know, many people think. They think14:16like, okay, if I do my best, then God is14:20happy with me. If I'm not doing good,14:23especially if I'm intentionally like14:25willfully sinning, not doing well, then14:27God is not happy with me. But it's like14:29I said it right before, you don't like14:33earn your salvation when you're doing14:35the best. So, like what makes you think14:38that you can lose your salvation when14:39you're doing your worst? Right? At the14:41end of the day, people think like,14:43"Okay, on my best day, I have salvation.14:46On my worst day, I lost my salvation."14:48But if that's the case, then that means14:51God's forgiveness and all of those14:52things are limited. It's limited to your14:55performance and it's the blood is14:56limited essentially to you performing14:59and doing well. So although people15:01understand I was talking about it in the15:02main stage today people understand this15:05concept that God is all knowing all15:06loving and can forgive everything but15:09when push comes to shove I think they15:11don't believe the concept they15:13understand the concept just like for15:14example I know that in a car the15:18accelerator is going to move the car the15:20ga the the gas is going to move the car15:22the brake is going to slow down the car15:23or stop the car but that doesn't make it15:26applicable and that doesn't mean that15:28just cuz I know that the car is going to15:29move, right? Belief and faith is where15:32you move the car. And in this way,15:34people know Jesus Christ died for our15:36sins. People know, yes, Jesus, you know,15:39he's uh uh made us perfect and righteous15:41and holy. They even know how to say15:42that. But when push comes to shove, the15:46biggest thing is people trust15:47themselves. They trust, man, I'm doing15:50bad. And they don't even realize it.15:52They're stepping into the judge's15:54position. M15:55>> they're recognizing like I'm the judge15:57now because I feel bad and my feelings15:59are true. They'll sit there and they'll16:01they'll literally fall into it heavy. I16:03do this test with everybody where I'm16:06like you guys believe in the word,16:08right? Jeremiah 17:9. It says the heart16:11is deceitful above all things,16:13desperately wicked. Who can know it? It16:14means your heart is a top liar and no16:17one knows how it is. And I ask everybody16:19in in mainstage, anyone I meet, you guys16:21believe in the word of God? Yes, we do.16:23You believe every single word of of the16:26Bible is from God? They say, "Yes." You16:28believe God can't lie? Yes. So, do you16:30believe your heart is deceitful? They're16:32like, "Of course. If the Bible says so,16:34that's what it is." They even answer16:35like this, right? And then I go, "Who16:37here has depression?" "Oh, we all got16:40depress. Who here has loneliness?" "Oh,16:42we all got loneliness." Wait, but I16:43thought you said that you believe the16:44word of God that it says your heart is16:46deceitful. So, your depression is16:47deceiving you. Why do you still claim16:49it? And then they go, "What?" And it16:51blows their mind because they go, yes,16:53they they believe it or they think they16:54do, but when push comes to shove,16:56they're not actually believing the word.16:58They think that they understand the word17:00of God, but they don't. And so that's17:03kind of what it comes down to where17:04people are are number one transactional.17:08It's just it's it's how society is. You17:11want to go somewhere, you got to pump17:12gas. How do you get gas? You have to17:14trade money for it. You have to17:15transactionally purchase the gas.17:18Nothing else is free. And so that's why17:21the concept of grace is so difficult for17:23even the most simple seasoned Christians17:26because it's like this. If I do bad, I'm17:29going to hell. And if I especially if I17:31intentionally do bad, especially if I17:33know that this is bad and I keep lusting17:35and I keep drinking, I keep I'm for sure17:37going to go to hell. But God's like,17:39"Bro, the reason why I sent Jesus is17:42because you can't stop doing those17:43things, right?17:44>> Like no matter how much you try, you17:46can't do it." You know what I mean? So17:48personally like I've I've had to really17:50wrestle with that too and go dang. So I17:53really just don't do anything. So I17:55really just sit there and be like don't17:57do anything. And the one thing pastor17:59keeps reiterating to the point where I18:01would get angry at him is what can you18:03do Johnny? What can you do? If you could18:06have did something you wouldn't asked18:07me, you would be doing it. Why are you18:09asking me these things? And I'm like18:11dang okay that's that's fair. But then18:13I'll forget again and I'll jump back18:15into my works again and I'll go, "Okay,18:16I got to maintain and I got to do this18:18and I got to do that." And at the end of18:20the day, that's why that's what's18:22causing the suffering. It's not even God18:24like from heaven wagging his finger, you18:27know, you shouldn't have done that. That18:28he doesn't do that. He nothing surprises18:31him. He already knows you're going to18:32mess up, but it's us going ah and we18:35like almost crucify ourselves in a way.18:38>> Well, yeah. That's why true biblical18:40submission is really difficult. And18:41honestly, I remember you used to18:43struggle with it a lot too as someone18:44who would like work for everything in18:46their life and try to make everything18:48perfect and and as people who are true18:50have true biblical salvation now. I18:52guess you guys probably don't experience18:53it anywhere where you have those report18:55cards in God's eyes like oh because I've18:57trained my whole life. I've had a report18:59card in school. I've had a report card19:00in work. Why wouldn't I have a report19:01card to God? But when you can truly19:03submit, I guess that's that's what19:05unlocks the ability to stop judging19:07yourself, becoming putting yourself in19:09the judges position.19:12Guys, May 1st, I'm actually doing a19:15streamathon every single day at 9:0019:17a.m. A lot of you guys are super19:20wondering, how did I get to where I'm19:22at? And I'm going to show you my routine19:24every single day. And it's only 5 to 1019:27minutes. It's super easy to make God a19:30habit in your life. And that is the main19:31goal in our streamathon. Each morning, I19:34write a daily devotional. We're going to19:35go through it. I'm also going to break19:37down the Bible verses for you and answer19:40any and all questions that you guys19:42have. If you're wondering how to join,19:44all you guys got to do is download the19:46app, Core the Heart Daily, link in the19:49description. See you first on all19:51platforms. Peace. Well, what happens if19:54like, let's say I have a thought right19:56now, Coachella just happened and I'm19:57like, "Oh, that looks fun. I miss doing20:00Molly or whatever it is. Yeah.20:02>> And then my friend is like weekend two,20:04I got tickets and I'm like, okay, I'm20:05gonna go, but I'm not going to drink or20:06anything. And then I go and I do all20:08those things, right? And it's holding it20:10in my hand or I got a drink in my hand20:12and I'm like, man,20:13>> like I don't want like I feel guilty20:16about this, but it's, you know, I'm not20:18I don't have an addictive personality.20:20What? I just go trust myself.20:22>> Yeah.20:22>> It goes back to the thing I've20:24deliberately chosen to go against God,20:25but I'm like, I know that I don't live20:26by the law.20:27>> Yeah. And it's just like, okay, oops,20:30I'm oopsies. I did it. Oopsie dups. Is20:32God like, come on now. Like, now you're20:34now you're take is there Okay, my20:36question is this.20:37>> Is there a point where you're taking20:39advantage of God's grace?20:40>> Yeah, I think Okay, but even that is20:43subjective, right? Like, how do you know20:46what's taking advantage of God's grace,20:47right? If it's just someone who's in20:50like let's say someone just goes and20:51I'll do uh that same example. I know20:54that I shouldn't be doing this, but I do20:56want to do it. God has made me righteous20:58and perfected, but I still am going to21:00go and I'm gonna sin. There's people who21:02do that. They go, "Dude, I'm gonna go21:04and I'm gonna, you know, go and do21:06Molly, and I know God won't like, uh,21:08well, I guess I shouldn't have trusted21:10myself, right?" That just shows one21:13thing. It doesn't show that God is mad21:14at you. It shows that you don't know21:16God's heart. And going through those21:19things is actually necessary. Does that21:22make sense? Like, you have to go through21:24that. You have to mess up. There are21:26people in the church I've seen who have21:28abused the grace of God who sit there21:30every day and go, there's a sister for21:3210 years who would literally just21:34gossip. Does she know that gossiping is21:36bad? Yes. Does she know that spreading21:39false information is bad? Of course.21:41Does she know saying the church is21:43racist and they they only like Korean21:45people is a bad? Of course. She's been21:47corrected numerous times. But at the end21:50of the day, she continued to do it. Now,21:53is that something that God, you know,21:55did the church kick her out? No. The21:58church was like, "You're fine. God is22:00gonna help you." This is like the faith22:02of what other people, right? They they22:04can't understand that because if you're22:06legalistic, then you're like, "You have22:08to change. You You can't keep doing22:10that." Even I feel like that you can't22:12if you really claim that you love the22:13church and you love God, why would you22:15continue to do those things? But there22:17is this one thing right where I've22:19noticed that people genuinely have and22:22we're addressing now is that they have22:24this mindset22:26of I think I can stop it and I don't22:29even think that I need there's either I22:31think I can stop it which is just as bad22:33as I don't think I need to stop it. It's22:35two it's two peas in a pod because at22:37the end of the day it's still you at the22:40center of everything right? It's like as22:42difficult as that is that to grasp like22:45it's still you if you trying to save22:47yourself you trying to stop yourself is22:49still you being the savior there's just22:51no way right so going back to that point22:54okay if I know that I shouldn't be doing22:56those things if [snorts] I know that you22:58know it's not good to x y and z do this23:01that and the other23:03of course the number one thing you23:05should be doing is fellowshipping you23:06have to go hey this is what I want to do23:09the issue is not that you have those23:11urges Everybody has desires to one way,23:14shape or form. This person is lust. This23:16person is Molly. This person is23:18gossiping. This person is, you know,23:19just popping off on people. All of that23:22is sin. Anyways, the issue is people23:25don't sit there and talk to people. They23:27don't sit there and open up about it.23:28They don't go, you know what, pastor,23:30I'm struggling with this. To be honest,23:32like, why can't I do that?23:35>> Right? What they do is they go in23:36secrecy. They sit there and they go,23:39"Uh, well, I know I'm going to mess up,23:42but I'll try not to. I'll just trust23:44myself." Like, the issue isn't even23:46trusting yourself. Trust yourself.23:47You're going to trust yourself anyways.23:49The issue is like, did you go and have a23:51breaking system? Did you have somebody23:53to try to hold you accountable? Did you23:55sit there knowingly and understand that23:57you can't do it by yourself? So many24:00people don't do that, right? It's like24:02they mess up and then it's weird. It's a24:04double-edged sword. I messed up, but I'm24:06going to keep doing the same pattern to24:09like not, you know, reach out for help,24:12not change my ways. Like that in itself,24:16even if they don't sin, is still messed24:18up. It's like I want to I want to lose24:20weight. I need to get rid of all the24:21snacks in my house. But it's like, uh,24:24it's okay. Like, I'll just think about24:26fitness and I'll even work out, but I'll24:28still like leave the things in my house,24:31right? Like nothing's going to change.24:33My environment is not going to change.24:34And is that really a problem? Not24:36necessarily. Is that detrimental to God?24:38Not necessarily. But that's detrimental24:40to you. So to anybody who has that24:42thought process, I could just go and24:44sin. Of course, you can sin however you24:46want. Why does God not want you to?24:49Because it's going to affect you at the24:51end of the day.24:52>> That's what people have to wake up from24:54is to go, "Oh, snap. Me doing Molly,24:56although I think it's good, is going to24:58wreck me. Me gossiping about others is25:01going to make everybody push away and25:02isolate from me. me doing X, Y, and Z is25:05going to affect me at the end of the25:07day.25:09People have to come to that conclusion25:10and then they'll reach out for help. If25:12they don't come to that conclusion, like25:14that one sister, like that those25:16brothers, they stay like that for 1025:18years. Some people 20 years they stay25:19like that and then they're like, "Oh, am25:22I abusing grace?" No, no, no. It's not25:24even the abusing gra. We all abuse grace25:25to to to some extent, right? If if you25:28sin, you're abusing grace, right? God is25:30if if if people are really loving God,25:33they would be obedient out of love. They25:35would never sin. That's impossible.25:37Everybody does it. I don't care if25:39you're Orthodoxy, Catholic, Jewish,25:41whatever. Like, everybody messes up to25:43some extent. Does that mean that they25:45don't love God? Not necessarily. But25:47they don't understand the accountability25:50aspect. They think like, "Okay, I need25:52to stop messing up." Like that's that25:55therein is the problem, right? you25:58trusting yourself to stop yourself.26:02Number one. Number two, you even getting26:05to the position where you know what, I'm26:07going to trust myself again. And even if26:09I don't stop myself, like I'll be okay.26:11That's still trusting yourself. Why not26:14listen to the pastor? Why not open up?26:15Why not talk to people? [snorts] Why not26:17talk to accountability partner? Because26:20at the end of the day, it's all26:21revolving around I trust myself and I'm26:23going to follow myself26:25>> and that's it, you know.26:27>> And yeah, your story was actually very26:29similar to Johnny's story about the26:31pastor, your example about Coachella26:32because at least you described struggle.26:34You were like, "Oh, well, I didn't go26:35the first weekend and I want to go the26:37next weekend, but I know I shouldn't,26:38but I'm not going to drink." And then I26:40kind of fell into it. It's like at least26:41you were describing what Johnny's26:42talking about about going through26:43struggling with it instead of just going26:45and not thinking about it or and when26:46you say abusing God's grace like oh well26:49you know I can't do anything so I'm26:50going to take the drugs anyways like26:51Johnny saying you're just abusing26:52yourself you can't abuse God's grace you26:55can just abuse yourself26:56>> but even then like just picking up and26:58moving on right like when people always27:00ask oh is weed like can I not drink I27:04saw this real it was hilarious bro the27:06guy was like you know oh pastor I seen27:10you in the liquor store getting27:12Hennessy. And he was like, "Well, if I27:15could turn water into wine, I wouldn't27:17be at the liquor store." Like, I was27:18dying when he said I was like, "What the27:20heck?" But it's it's hilarious. But it's27:22like,27:23>> huh? Check. [laughter]27:25>> But it's like, right, it's like But27:27that's their heart posture. What's27:29What's going to make them change? The27:32love of God. condemning those people,27:34telling them, you know, you shouldn't be27:35doing that is actually just going to27:37push them into isolation more27:39>> when they realize, yo,27:41>> God died for me. I don't have to lean on27:43this alcohol to make me feel happy. I27:45don't have to lean on Molly. I don't27:47have to do those things. Like, that's27:49what's going to change people. What's27:50going to cast that out, though? [snorts]27:52If someone is abusing grace, legalism is27:55not going to change them, right? If27:57someone is hateful, hatred is and27:59telling them not to hate is not going to28:00change them. what's going to change them28:02is love. What's going to change people28:04who are who are filled with anger and28:06and frustration is peace and calm. And28:09so like we also as Christians have to do28:12a better job. I was talking about this28:13in in the Discord stage too of like28:16helping people and like praying for28:18people. You know, there's brothers and28:20sisters and every one of us here we've28:21we've struggled with this where we28:23[snorts] know about God and then your28:26family member doesn't and then there's28:27this heart that arises. I was addressing28:29this in mainstage today too where it's28:31this heart of like dang I'm right and if28:35you guys like want to be that hardened28:38like I'm we'll see during the day of28:40judgment like I'll like they parade that28:42I'll stand in front of God and you'll be28:44freaking burning and I'm going to be28:45over here like I told you so nah that28:48heart is wrong honestly the right heart28:50should should be do you do they even28:52know how scary it is to go against God28:54and to go against his will they don't28:56even see how scary that day of judgment28:59is actually going to be. That's why29:01they're so angry and frustrated. So,29:03what should we do? We should pity them.29:05I should have told them, you guys need29:07to learn to pity your family members.29:08Not in a way where it's like, oh, like29:10let them walk all over you. But you have29:12to go, yo, they are so blinded. They29:15literally think nothing of God. Like29:18he's nothing. They just flick them away29:19like I don't know, like a little mustard29:21seed or something. And so at the end of29:23the day, we also have to think about29:27like people's heart posture in that they29:30don't even know that they're like29:31walking towards destruction. It's it's29:34really crazy. It's really really wild.29:36You know, this last week it was a lot of29:38like eyeopening things where I I hung29:41out with pastor [snorts]29:42from our church and then we would go and29:44meet with all these other pastors and it29:47was so difficult to to to sit there and29:50and see that this pastor who's watching29:53over seven other pastors has not even29:56and he was real and I respect them has29:58not even finished the Bible front to30:01back one time. You're you're you're30:03you're guiding seven pastors30:08and you haven't even read the Bible and30:11all of the message is and God will help30:14you and God will love you. It's like30:17yes, it feels great, but there is no30:20practicality to it.30:22>> And and and there are people like I30:24spoke to a sister, she was older in in30:26his congregation. I gave a a testimony30:28at his congregation and pe people were30:30like, "Yo, this is profound. Not only30:33did you like question, but you also gave30:36us practical steps. You taught us right30:38then and there how to apply faith to our30:40lives." And I saw that that other pastor30:43was kind of like, "Dang, how do we do30:46that with these people?" Cuz all their30:48messaging is you have strongholds, God30:51will break through your stronghold. How?30:53Doesn't matter. Have faith. like there30:55is no how. It's more of just like he30:58will he will. And that's beautiful. But31:01they were they they would so what they31:02would do is 6 days out of the week and I31:05shouldn't have said this but I I I had31:06to. Six days out of the week they're31:08struggling there. I I said you guys are31:11like a iPhone and the church is like the31:14charger. You you six days you're like31:16draining in this world and then on the31:18seventh day when you go on Sunday it's31:20like you plug back in and you're like31:21juiced up again. H. And then you go back31:23out and you're literally struggling31:25Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,31:26Friday, Saturday, Sun. And then right on31:28Sunday, you're you're juiced up again.31:30And years and years and years go by and31:34they're like, "Yo, why is my life not31:36leveled up?" It's literally the same31:38pattern. And so when I said this, I31:40don't know why I just had to say it. I31:43could see that the pastor was like,31:44"Dang, you threw a shot at me." Which I31:46wasn't trying to, but it just came out31:47of me. But from then on, once the the uh31:52church ended, the fellowship started to31:54come, right? And people came and they31:56were just like, "Yo, how is it that31:58you're 36 years old, but you understand32:01like what we're going through and what32:03[snorts] is the practical steps on how32:05to do that?" And then I was like, I just32:07hear like Jeremy, you know, in my head32:10like, "Tell them about that app. Tell32:11them about that." [laughter]32:12>> I I'm not going to lie. I was like32:14thinking that right now.32:16>> So So I'm like, but I didn't, right? I I32:18said,32:18>> "Oh, okay. Do the one thing."32:20>> I know. I'm sorry. My bad. But I did say32:23I did say32:23>> Let me say what you said.32:25>> What did I say?32:25>> You said read the Bible.32:28>> No, no, no. I said I took the slogan we32:31took. Honestly, I said the one thing is32:34we don't even know how to make God a32:36habit in our lives.32:36>> Cool.32:37>> Right. And they're like,32:38>> "Okay, but but but the the girl32:40challenged, what do you mean? I do I32:42come to church every every Sunday. this32:44is isn't this making God a habit in my32:46and I was like we're going to do like a32:48streamathon right and I'm like but but I32:51I'm not trying to cuz you got a pastor32:53there you don't want to like step on his32:54toes32:55>> but you have to also be able to navigate32:57the habit the habitual stuff so I'm like32:59for me personally what helps me is like33:02every morning I wake up and I read the33:04Bible thing is people say the same thing33:06that's what what we need to talk about33:08too on offline but they're like yeah we33:10wake up and read the Bible too we wake33:12up and and yeah you you know, uh, uh,33:15uh, Joyce Meyer or whatever, she, uh,33:18she also writes a devotional every, and33:20we read the devotional. So, I'm like,33:22and I just had to keep it real with33:24them, right? I was like, "Look, sis, let33:26me let me tell you something. If you're33:27doing all of that, how long have you33:29been saved?" She's like, "Oh, I've been33:30saved since I was 17. I'm 54 now." I'm33:33like, "Okay." I didn't do the math cuz I33:35was like counting with my finger and it33:37took too long. So, I'm sitting there.33:39>> I was like, "Okay." So, I said 30 plus33:41years. That's all I said, right? I'm33:42like, for 30 plus years, what has33:44honestly changed? And then I saw her33:46eyes like welt up cuz she sat there and33:49she realized like nothing I've been33:52living literally happy, sad, up and down33:54sin repent the whole time. And I said,33:57"Do you know why this is happening?" She33:59said, "I don't know. Is it because I I34:01have some unrepented sins? Is it because34:04I'm not listening to the pastor here?34:06And is it No, it's because all you hear34:09is just feel-good messages. God will34:11help you. he will break through for you34:13if you just believe. You tell him, you34:16know, I'm righteous and I love God.34:18Like, but there's nothing that people34:20are applying to their lives. And so I34:23told her, the number one thing you have34:24to do, sister, is read the Bible to34:27accept, not to understand. But more34:29importantly than that, even if you don't34:31read the Bible, have an honest34:34conversation with God every single day.34:37This is what I'm struggling with. This34:38is what I'm thankful for. This is what34:40I'm not thankful for. this is where I34:42need help. This is where I don't agree34:43with you, God. She's like, she looked at34:44me like, I can't even tell God where I34:47don't agree with him. And that's where34:49my heart broke. I was like, bro, people34:51are so performative that they can't even34:53talk to their own father and be like, I34:55don't really know. I don't believe right34:57now. Can you please help me? Right? I34:59was like, a prayer, even if you go, I35:01don't know what to pray for right now.35:03Honestly, I don't like I don't even know35:04how to pray. Can you help me? Is an35:06honest prayer versus like, heavenly35:08father, lord of lord, king of kings.35:10Like it's so much better to just be35:11like, "Yo, for real, I don't even know35:13what to say. I suck at praying. I don't35:15even care about praying. Lord, if you35:17don't give me the heart to pray, then35:18how am I going to pray?" Right? And and35:20being real, they saw like, "Oh, I can35:23actually be raw." So, for 30 plus years,35:26this person was was under the trap of I35:30need to approach God a certain way. I35:33need to talk to him a certain way. I35:34need to come to church a certain way.35:36The sermon has to be a certain way.35:37Everything. It was almost like they were35:39all put in a box. And man, it was crazy.35:42It was just wild. Yeah.35:46For the first time ever, guys, I'm35:48bringing after service to Europe. So, in35:51June, uh, from the 4th to the 7th, we35:55will be in Amsterdam and Sweden. To get35:57all the details, you guys can send35:59afters to 323-6133577.36:03If you're international, however, you36:05guys can get all the information link in36:07the description.36:08>> Wait, so what goes down at these free36:09live events?36:10>> So these free live events, we have a36:12sermon from me, uh live Q&A where you36:15can ask questions, and we also have a36:17meet and greet, so you can take photos.36:20We're literally taking the online to the36:22offline, and we're just bringing36:23everybody into the community, having36:25fellowship with one another.36:26>> Also, my one of my favorite parts about36:27after service is the fellowship before36:29and after.36:30>> True. It's just interesting seeing36:32everyone in the Discord mainstages,36:33seeing everyone in the comment sections.36:35I feel it feels like you're a part of36:36this community, but then the live events36:38are like really make it real. It's like36:40these are literally the people who I'm36:41in this community with. This is us. It's36:43a it's a thousand plus people everywhere36:45we go. You make friends, you stay36:47friends, you continue to communicate36:49online, but it's like it really makes it36:51real.36:52>> I also feel like36:53>> Johnny always comes with some heat. Like36:55it's always a different sermon or36:57whatever it is. I always, even though36:58I'm in the crowd, I'm around him so37:00much. I always learn something.37:01>> Awesome.37:02>> So those Q&As's go crazy. Like sometimes37:04you just don't know what they're going37:05to ask. And you guys have seen some of37:07those viral Q&As. It's like the people37:09in the audience for that. Like just me37:11sitting there, you get chills.37:12>> Even if it's a question you don't have,37:14like it's just crazy hearing some of37:15these people's stories. So37:17>> it's nuts.37:18>> Yeah, it's really good.37:20>> Also, we're going to have merch. So if37:21you guys want this beautiful, beautiful37:23shirt and a beautiful thick cloth,37:25there's always merch at the live events.37:26>> Good quality. Good quality. [laughter]37:29And also guys, if you want more details,37:31you guys can text after to 323-613357737:36or you guys can check the description.37:39If grace is free, then why does why is37:42it so hard to accept at times?37:45>> That's a good question. It depends on37:46people's heart posture at the end of the37:48day, but it's hard to accept because37:52again, people are transactional. We're37:54taught in this world that nothing is37:55free. the first thing you you you you37:58think of like38:00I had a restaurant, right? And I had it38:02with my my my family and I remember like38:06I don't know if you guys know in the38:07SUV, but Asians do a lot of buy one get38:10one free. Like in Garden Grove there's38:13like buy one f get another f 50% off.38:16Buy one boba milk tea get another boba38:19milk tea free. Right. When I when we did38:22that uh in our restaurant, do you know38:25like I thought people would be like,38:26"Yo, this is a great deal." Do you know38:29what they did? They came up and they38:30were like, "What's wrong with it? It's38:32old, huh?"38:33>> Like I was I was mind blown.38:36>> I think that way, too.38:38>> I was like, [laughter]38:40"You might literally like right." I'm38:43like, "We're trying to help you. Like,38:45what you trying to hook up, but no one's38:46going to hook?" Like, that's the natural38:48mindset. And so it's the same thing. I38:51saw that early on. I was like, "Yo,38:53people are are they're not going to like38:57we we just we we don't like free." Like38:59we say we do. We we we like grace, but39:02there's always this what's the catch39:04type of energy, right? So39:07>> that's again ingrained in us because39:09we're transactional. We've we've had39:11things where people I think most of us39:13have been betrayed one way or another.39:15Uh we've had people even logically even39:18if you haven't been betrayed, anything39:20that's free feels cheap. It's like if39:22something is of value, why would you39:24give it up? Right? That's a that's39:26normal logical thinking. But but39:28especially something as valuable as39:30God's life and eternal life, why would39:32he just give it up? But that's because39:34they don't understand grace. They don't39:36understand love. They don't understand39:37that God wants to give it to us. Because39:39if he doesn't give it to us by grace,39:41then none of us are getting to heaven.39:43Literally, it's it's so valuable that39:46it's not something we can pay for. I39:48cannot [snorts] outwork God or Jesus. I39:51cannot outwork the blood.39:54Literally, if God doesn't give it to us,39:56we're royally screwed. There's nothing39:58we can do to get to heaven. But people40:01have that mindset of pride of going,40:04"No, I can get to heaven." In my40:06opinion, in my belief, if I do X, Y, and40:08Z, I'll get there. And and we see this40:11in the Bible, too. We see so many people40:14rich young ruler who who's like what do40:16I do to get to heaven? I've been doing40:18that as a kid. What else? Like it's this40:20pride of like I do something for God and40:23and it feels good. Why why is it why do40:25I want something free? I want to work40:27for something. You know in the Asian40:29culture like it's disrespectful to like40:31accept things from people. It's weird.40:34Ever since I was young, my mom was like40:35no matter how much you're starving, if40:37you're at somebody's house, you never40:40take food from them. you they're gi they40:42have like whole [snorts] truckload.40:44Nope, I'm okay. I'm I ate or like you40:46have to you have to do that. And my mom40:48told me because if you do that and you40:50take it, you now owe them something. Now40:52I have to go back and I have to owe them40:54something. So it's also like all of40:56these things that are ingrained in us,40:57nothing is free. Skepticism is real. Uh41:01uh if something was valuable, it would41:03never be free. And there's a catch. If41:06there's something that God gives you,41:08you got to then pay him back for41:09something. And that's how everybody41:11treats him.41:12>> It's so funny. Chunk was telling us the41:14story of how it's like to the two sides41:16of his family. One culture you're never41:18supposed to accept food and the other41:19culture you're supposed to eat and41:20finish all the food and accept it. So41:22just a mix of wanting to give and then41:24not wanting to receive.41:25>> Crazy, bro.41:26>> Kind of funny.41:27>> Has there ever been a person that was so41:29deep in their sin that you even thought41:31that it'd be difficult for God to change41:34them?41:35>> Yeah. Myself. [laughter] Straight up.41:38Straight up. I I I thought for a very41:40long time I was like dang there's a41:42specific thing where for for a very long41:46time41:47uh when I didn't especially early on41:49like the first 3 years I would have like41:53continuous thoughts of like people who41:56did me dirty. It was weird. I couldn't41:58not think of people who did me dirty42:00from my past. And so right after that,42:03of course, being a gang member,42:06you have like these murderous, vengeful,42:09rageful thoughts.42:13>> That's why I don't open up. [laughter]42:16I'm just kidding. No, but stop, Jeremy.42:19But genuinely though, I would have uh my42:23God is my witness. Like from 2014 to42:27probably 2017,42:29I would have like murderous thoughts. I42:32think one day I even counted. No, no42:34lie. I think I had like 150 like42:38murderous thoughts cuz pastor made me do42:40a an exercise where he goes, "Write down42:43all of your thoughts."42:44>> So I had a gang of lustful thoughts, but42:47the the thought that the thoughts that42:49that were like the category that reign42:50supreme was murderous rageful thoughts.42:54Cherry, why? Dude, man,42:57>> why are you laughing at me? Everybody42:59Everybody43:01>> thumbs down this guy.43:03>> So, if he was like from 2000 to 2006, I43:07had like43:08>> He's like from January to March, I had43:10like [laughter]43:11>> 150 murderous thoughts.43:12>> I'm like, what is what's today? April43:13I'm like April 12th to April 13th, I43:15[laughter] had a thousand.43:16>> You've just been hanging out with us.43:19>> What?43:20>> Just all the people around me. Constant43:22murderous thoughts. Yeah, it's like this43:24Jewish guy and this Korean guy43:26>> your gang, right? Like, no, I haven't43:28seen them in a few months. [laughter]43:31>> Oh, he's like work is very stressful.43:34>> No, but I I would just have that and and43:37I I thought there was something wrong43:38with me. And there was a point where I43:40kind of lost it. Like honestly, I was43:43like, yo, I'm I'm I I think I'm going to43:45hell. And and I remember feeling this43:48fear um to the point where you you know43:52what's scary what's now that I think43:54about it triggered something. What's43:56scary is when you trust somebody so much43:58like Pastor Kim that that person on that44:02level who's changed my life when he says44:04something it doesn't even affect you.44:06That's when I started panicking44:08>> you know like like like you guys respect44:10me but imagine like if I say something44:11and and you guys don't like you can't44:14hear it anymore. It's it becomes very44:16scary, right? So, I couldn't hear pastor44:20like [snorts] he was saying something44:21and I was just like he doesn't44:24understand. He don't got murderous44:25thoughts. He don't even when he's like,44:27"Me too. Me." I'm like, "No, no, no, no.44:29You don't think the way that I think."44:31Like, you're you're definitely not44:32thinking the way that I don't think44:33anyone thinks the way that I think. And44:35then right there, condemnation. Am I is44:37there something wrong with me? Oh my44:38gosh. Like, dude, what the hell, man?44:40Like I know I'm righteous and perfected,44:42but like how can how can I let Satan44:45infiltrate my brain like this? Like am I44:47really even saved? And it just starts to44:49like go everywhere. Oh my goodness. And44:52it stayed like that for a very very long44:54time honestly. And so but if it stayed44:56like that and there was other things44:58happening in your life where you started45:00to stray from Pastor Kim entirely or45:02there's still parts of him where you're45:03like, "Oh, he's right there. Like what's45:05happening?" If that's a three-year45:06period. No, I think in the three-year45:08period, of course, I was like with him,45:11but that's when I questioned my45:13salvation the most45:14>> for three years.45:15>> Yes. I thought that I was legit going to45:18hell.45:19>> Is this before and after he threw away45:21your notebook?45:21>> Yeah. This was literally right before uh45:24this was actually after he threw away my45:27notebook.45:27>> Wow. So,45:28>> yeah.45:29>> Yesesh.45:30>> I had thoughts like that towards him too45:32>> where I was like I like So, so it's45:34weird, right? And I know people can45:36understand this. If y'all went through45:37it, you know what I'm talking about. You45:39don't want to hate the people that you45:41hate. But when because you can't figure45:44out the problem, you literally start to45:48choose every little thing to blame. So I45:51had thoughts even towards pastor where I45:52was like, see, if he didn't do that and45:54he didn't correct me, then I wouldn't45:56spiral this way. It was like I was45:58trying to like almost like piece45:59together things and like claw so I could46:02deflect so much that I didn't like feel46:04a certain way. It was weird. It was46:06really weird. So even that I realize now46:08God had to allow me to go through it.46:10>> So that means cuz you said the notebook46:12thing happened 5 years into your walk.46:14>> Yeah. Yeah.46:14>> So then 8 years till the point where46:17basically I met you, you right before I46:19met you,46:20>> you were spiraling for three course. But46:22were you saving people in that time?46:24>> No. Well, in 5 years, yes. after the46:27five years. Yes.46:28>> Yes. Yes. So, so even in that period,46:30you were still going to church and46:31>> of course46:32>> and saving people,46:32>> but there was a thought process of like46:34constantly of like you you if you don't46:37get over this thing, you're literally46:39going to fail. Like you're literally46:41going to you're going to burn. And so I46:44would shout out Pastor John.46:47The fellowships, oh my goodness, bro.46:49The fellowships that I had with Pastor46:51John is literally what saved me. And46:54what would lead me to run away mostly46:56was those murderous thoughts was like, I47:00can't do this right now. I need things47:02my way. I was all sorts of messed up.47:04Now that I think about it, honestly,47:06everything about me was if anything47:08didn't match my mind, that would pop up47:11and then I would leave. Like I I'm the47:13type of person where I I try to remove47:16I'm a runner. I remove myself from the47:18situation before it gets way too bad,47:21right? And it just it's just the truth.47:23And this happens on a regular, but the47:25issue is it's not to the point where it47:28used to be where it was like, okay, I47:30don't have salvation anymore. What would47:33scare me was I would go, I don't have47:35salvation anymore. If that's the case,47:38then what's the point of living? Like47:40that that part right there, it doesn't47:43come anymore. Before, oh my goodness,47:46dude.47:48So, I got saved. I I did this and I47:51still have these thoughts that means I47:53must not be saved then all of this is a47:55lie then I'm not like it was like this47:58type of level right I don't know if you48:00guys went through it but I shielded a48:02lot of core of the heart people and I48:04know why now God allowed me to go48:06through that for many many many years is48:08because there was always this thought48:10process of like why do I have to go48:14through these things from the thing of48:15like me getting locked up to the thing48:18of me getting like molested as a kid by48:20someone who's older than me. All of48:22these things I was always like I48:24understand that I had to go through it.48:26I made peace with it. But still there48:28was a there was it was more like I48:29accepted it, right? But every single48:32thing down the road, God has been48:34showing me even just maybe in the past48:36four years of just why you had to go48:39through every single little thing. I48:42don't think I've had that much clarity48:44until maybe just the past four years48:46about every single thing. Prior to that,48:48I would just be like, "Yeah, I48:50understand." Like everything happens for48:51Romans 8:28, everything happens for a48:53reason. That's why, like, you guys will48:55see me when I, you know, break down on48:57main stage or it's like in real time is49:00what I'm learning every single time. So,49:02that's why I say I'm not better than49:03anybody. I'm learning in real time, too,49:06you know, which is really beautiful.49:08Whatever I learn, I always share with49:10you guys, right? That's just the truth.49:12So, people sit there and they go, "How49:13can this guy act like he's perfect?" I49:15don't. I'm not. What I learned though is49:18the these lessons like I almost feel49:20like it's weird to say it and it's not49:22like in a high-hearted way, but I'm a49:24lot of the times a guinea pig for for49:26for for God. I feel like in that I had49:29to go through a lot of things so that49:31many people didn't have to. And other49:33pastors did that for me too. They also49:35had to go through a lot of things and49:37they didn't they didn't how do I say49:39like like I didn't have to go through49:41it, right? I didn't have to go through49:42like struggling with certain things49:44because they went through it. And so49:46it's it's weird. It's like it's a49:48blessing but feel can feel like a curse.49:51So even that I understand people too who49:53are like oh why am I going through this?49:55And I'm like you're speak you're singing49:57to the you're preaching to the choir49:58like I know exactly what they're going50:00through but because of the struggle50:02that's why I know you know. So yeah.50:05>> So what was the moment for you that50:08grace became really real where you were50:10like it was50:11>> I think grace was always real. I think50:13where I I I misconstrued it was I50:16thought that grace had to be like a50:19feeling thing. That's what I was con50:21like conflicted about.50:22>> So when did you have that realization?50:24>> That realization did come after pastor50:26threw away my notebook. But still just50:30because you realize it does not mean50:32right that it just smooths out. Like50:34that's what I'm trying to be real with50:36people. It's like this is this is50:38there's so many times where you've went50:40through that. I've went through that50:41where it's like, "Oh, I get it now." But50:43then it's you don't though because you50:46get it. Yes. But some situation happens50:49and you're like, "Ah, like I got to be50:51told like 10 more times." But it doesn't50:54mean the first time you didn't get it.50:55You literally got it. It's just it takes50:57time to unlearn habitually those things.51:00So for me, the grace of separating the51:03fleshly things and the habitual things51:06from like, "Oh, I do actually understand51:08it." That took like five years, I would51:11say. Yeah. You know, so because every51:15time I would mess up, I would then go,51:17"Oh my gosh, I messed up. I'm gonna lose51:19my salvation. Oh, what's wrong with me?51:22Oh, see, I didn't really listen. Oh, and51:24then I would spiral into condemnation."51:26Whereas now, it doesn't it doesn't do51:28that anymore. What would you say to the51:29new Christian that's like to be honest51:32my life is less peaceful now because I'm51:34realizing51:36all the mistakes or blemishes of myself51:38and it's the constant spiral of51:40>> you know what would you say to that51:41person51:42>> well the peace is subjective like I51:44thought it was not peaceful either right51:46and51:48>> at the end of the day like what is peace51:50right peace is like everyone can say51:53it's different what is peace oh you51:54don't have any any struggles but then51:56when you think about all the times that51:58you had no struggles, did you have51:59peace? Like it's it's it's weird. It's52:03always like grass is greener on the52:05other side. Right. I even till this day52:08like how how fast my heart changes. You52:10know, we make money now. It's not like52:12crazy amount, but definitely more than52:15I've ever made before. And I used to52:19like, oh, I'm going to get the nicest52:22$2,000 fishing reel and nice big old52:25house. But like nowadays it doesn't even52:28matter anymore. It's so weird. I used to52:31be like, man, I I will my goal is to eat52:34out every single day. Like I And I've52:36done that and it doesn't even do52:38anything. Like so what actually is is52:41truly I think the needle moves all the52:44time, right? The the goalpost moves. It52:46shifts. The the52:48what's that saying? It's like you think52:50that you can have something52:52and once you receive it, it's like52:54chasing the wind. That's what the Bible52:55says. Like you think you can catch the52:57wind and you look and it's empty. You're52:59like, "Okay, cool. I'm I'll make 5,000."53:00Boom. You hit 5,000. Everyone can relate53:02to this. It's just it's just it's this53:05weird feeling of I just need a little53:07more. I just need a little more. And53:08that thing you actually get that little53:11more. You get it and it and then that53:13little more is no longer a now it moves53:15to something else, you know? And so53:18to the person who thinks like, "Yeah, I53:20need a little bit more. I or or my life53:22is harder because it needs to be more53:24peaceful. Like I'm sorry to say, I'm53:27just keeping it real. That's a53:28deception.53:30>> Peace is not found in situations,53:32circumstances, how fat your bank account53:33is. Peace. Peace is found in even if it53:37doesn't feel peaceful, if God says it53:39is, then that's what it is. That's the53:42one thing, Pastor John, I shout out to53:43him always, is Johnny, you think that53:46you're going to lose your salvation53:47because you have murderous thoughts. But53:48because you confirm yourself, you53:50confirm your salvation amongst yourself.53:52He's the one that taught me this. You53:53confirm all of your salvation from53:55yourself. But why don't you confirm it53:57with the Bible? Your saving verse. He54:00goes, Hebrews 10:14. He's told me this54:02multiple times, but it took me a long54:04time to understand it. [snorts] He goes,54:07"Does Hebrews 10:14 change?54:10If it doesn't change then, and you54:12change, what should you listen to?"54:14Hebrews 10:14. Yeah, but but it took a54:17lot of Yeah, but yeah, but to finally54:19go, yeah, that's true.54:22Yeah, but yeah, but to Yeah, that's54:23true. So, trusting the word of God above54:28your thoughts,54:31it literally is the master key that54:33unlocks the prison of depression,54:35unlocks the prison of this isn't enough,54:38gratitude, and you know, ungratefulness.54:40It unlocks you. All of those things, the54:42way that pastor explained it was they're54:44like prisons. And the one thing that's54:46going to unlock it is [snorts] denying54:49what you think and feel, which is54:50pivotal to every Christian life. And um54:53that's what's going to unlock54:55everything, right? And so on to the next54:58point that also leading into that would55:01I would also think, oh, there's certain55:03sins that I was committing like like55:05that murderous thought, you know, uh uh55:08uh ruminating on those things and going,55:10dang, how come I have that? and how come55:13I plan these things out and in my head55:14and if God says you're angry with55:16someone or you hate someone, you've55:18already committed murder. Yes, we're not55:20under the law, but I can't just be like,55:21"Oh, I'm not under the law. I can just55:23have rampant thoughts." No, I had to sit55:25there and so, you know, I would, that's55:28the number one, you ask Pastor Kim, the55:30number one question I would ask him is55:32somewhere along the lines of, "Can you55:34lose your salvation for real?" And uh um55:38does God forgive repeated sins? That's55:41the like and he he would just look at me55:43and be like, "What what sins are you55:45repeating? You're like with me all the55:47time. What are you talking about?" Oh,55:49you know, I keep having these thoughts55:51and thoughts. He's like, "Oh, Johnny, he55:53would say this." What is so good about55:55your thoughts? You know, so at the end55:58of the day, [snorts]55:59um you know, like when when he said when56:04I would ask him, "Does God forgive56:06repeated sins?" Every Christian asks56:08this question. And Pastor Kim goes,56:10"Yes, because look, how many sins56:14do you sin to where it hits a threshold56:16that God can't forgive you anymore?" And56:18does it say that in the Bible? That56:20unlocked a lot, right? Is there a56:23certain number, Johnny, in the Bible,56:251,300 sins? You hit that, you had 1,299.56:30Be careful, man.56:32>> But one 1300 is over for you. No, there56:35isn't. In fact, there's actually a56:37number, and this is where he showed me56:39in Isaiah 40:2, he goes, "There's a56:42number of sins that are actually56:43forgiven." Like all of your sins times56:46two. And I was like, "What? Times?"56:49Wait, I thought he just forgave all of56:51our Yeah, he says all of your sins x2.56:53X2 that, right? And that's found in56:56Isaiah 40:2. And so, you know what I56:59learned and what I tell people nowadays57:01is if you're questioning, does God57:02forgive repeated sins?57:05If he doesn't forgive repeated sins,57:07then that means there's a limit to God's57:08blood. And if there's a limit to God's57:11blood, then that's blasphemous.57:14If you look at the blood, it's literally57:17going to wash all of your sins forever.57:20How do you put a limit on forever? How57:22do you put a limit on infinity? There is57:24no there is no limit, right? It's like57:26it's limitless. Um the problem is people57:30get stuck in this idea of I have to57:34not abuse grace. Yes, it's limitless but57:38they always add that but but I got to do57:40this but I got to make sure that I57:42maintain my salvation but I got to work57:44it out but I can't just sin however I57:45want. It's like but even that is a limit57:49on God's blood though, right? So57:54guys, our live events are getting super57:56packed. We genuinely need some help. So,57:58we're looking for a live events58:00producer. So, I'm going to be completely58:02honest about this. There's a lot of58:04moving pieces from booking a church,58:06finding the vendors, scanning in the58:07people, the volunteers, the merch. Like,58:10there's so many moving pieces that I'm58:11just going to say right now, we're58:12looking for a professional. We're58:14looking for someone who has done this58:15before. If you're watching and you're58:16like, "Oh, I think I can help their live58:17events." Honestly, you're probably not58:19the pick. But if you're watching and58:20you're saying, "Oh, I've done this58:21before. I've thrown live events. I've58:23even maybe worked in a church space."58:24Please reach out. We're looking for a58:26killer, someone who can really58:27coordinate everything. It's a ton of58:29moving pieces. At the end of the day,58:30it's nothing too hard or complicated,58:32but it's a lot of details, a lot of58:34moving pieces. And for us to be doing58:35this every single month, once a month or58:37even more, it's almost impossible58:38because we each run different branches58:40of the business. So, for us to do these58:42ourselves, it's becoming unscalable. So,58:44if you think, you know, you know, I can58:45come in, take this over, I'll learn from58:47them, we'll teach you everything, and58:49you think I can take the information and58:51go throw them live events every single58:53month in a different city for the rest58:54of the next 10 years. If you're hearing58:56this and you think that's you, please58:58reach out. We pay super competitively.59:00We have honestly a really good pay for59:01you guys cuz we really want to do this.59:02Live events are super important to59:04Johnny and all of us and all of you59:06guys. So, we want to keep doing them. We59:07want to keep making them super amazing.59:09And that's why honestly, we're looking59:10for a killer. like it. We're not really59:12going to hire anyone to test them out or59:14try to train. We're looking for someone59:15who has done this before and is ready to59:17do it for us and we're going to pay you59:19very handsomely for it. So, please reach59:21out. The best way to do it, there's a59:22link in the description. There's a job59:24application that details everything and59:26the pay. So, please fill it out. Please59:28pay attention to the instructions.59:29There's a lot of instructions that if59:30you don't pay attention to them, we're59:32not even going to look at your59:33application. So, cutting to the chase,59:35we're looking for a live events killer.59:37If you are that person or if you know59:38that person, if someone at your church59:40maybe throws the events, if you want to59:41recommend it to a friend or a family59:43member, we want an awesome beast live59:45events producer. The last thing I'll add59:48is you're going to be handling59:49everything from thousand to 5,000 person59:51live events. We do prison ministry,59:54overseas trips. We want to do we have59:56big plans to take core of the heart59:57global and you would be the lynch pin1:00:00that controls all of that. So, with that1:00:02being said, again, like Aaron said, I'm1:00:05only harping it again. There's a lot of1:00:07people that are applying because you1:00:08have a heart for the miss mission which1:00:10is great but only because of past1:00:12experiences. We have a very particular1:00:15vision of what this person needs to be.1:00:17We're also being advised by people that1:00:18have done this at extremely high level1:00:20who are helping us vet the applications.1:00:23So it's going to be a very like select1:00:26group of people that are looking at your1:00:28application. So please do not be1:00:30offended if we don't pick you. Just1:00:31understand we have a lot of input and we1:00:34are very specific on what we need. So1:00:36we're very appreciative if you try, but1:00:38please again understand that we've we've1:00:41gone through a lot of ups and downs to1:00:42understand what we need or want.1:00:44>> So if you want to apply, the link is in1:00:46the description. Also for anyone else1:00:47still listening, if you want to come to1:00:48these awesome live events, text in1:00:50afters to 32361335771:00:55for free live events in a city near you1:00:57>> or download Core of the Heart daily. I1:00:59genuinely want to thank you guys for1:01:01tuning in and just supporting core of1:01:03the heart. Without you guys, we1:01:05obviously we wouldn't be able to go1:01:07global and so we are looking for that1:01:10that perfect piece right to uh take us1:01:13global and help us with the live event.1:01:15So if that's you, we really do1:01:16appreciate you guys for for applying and1:01:19um hope to work with you guys soon. If1:01:22all the sins are forgiven, you know,1:01:24past, present, and future, then1:01:26technically, doesn't that make us1:01:28automatically sinless?1:01:30>> So then, can Christians actually stop1:01:33sinning? Yes, but not in the way that1:01:35you think. Right? So, first and1:01:37foremost, sin is an identity issue, not1:01:41an action. But a lot of people bring up1:01:441 John 3:4, which says, "Transgraph of1:01:47the law is sin, breaking the1:01:49commandments." But when you look at1:01:52uh Romans 6:14,1:01:55it says, "For sin shall have no dominion1:01:57over you, for you are not under the law,1:01:59but under grace." So there are two types1:02:02of people. There are people who are1:02:04under the law and there are people who1:02:06are under grace. That's just the way the1:02:08Bible splits two people. There are1:02:10sinners and there are people who are1:02:11saved by grace. Saved saints, sinners.1:02:15Just these two. So when when people read1:02:18contextually oh you know God says if you1:02:22love me keep my commandments of course1:02:25but at the same time who keeps the1:02:27commandments perfectly and if we did why1:02:30does Jesus have to die he doesn't have1:02:32to we would just keep the commandments1:02:34we would we would pray we would tithe we1:02:36would fast and that's it so why1:02:41in a way it's weird can Christians stop1:02:45sinning1:02:46No, without Jesus. With Jesus,1:02:49absolutely.1:02:50>> But again, not in a way that we think,1:02:53"Oh, we have Jesus now. No more lust."1:02:55No, no, no. It literally transfers you1:02:58out of the law into grace so that those1:03:02sins don't even count against you1:03:03anymore. That's the difference. It's1:03:05not, oh, I have Jesus now. I'm not going1:03:08to lust anymore.1:03:10>> And if I do, I'm lukewarm. Which again1:03:12is not the context of what lukewarm is.1:03:14Yeah. Interesting. It's just like the1:03:16actions don't matter. But then I guess1:03:18it's just this endless cycle that people1:03:20then go like, "Well, then does it matter1:03:22what I do? I should just do drugs or1:03:24whatever." It's like, "Well, no, you1:03:25wouldn't because it's a relationship1:03:27>> to that." Exactly. But to that, you1:03:28would stop sinning out of thankfulness.1:03:31>> Like right now, when people are under1:03:32the law, even if you you address those1:03:34people who say, "Well, I I could just1:03:36sin however I want then." But right, but1:03:39even under the law, you still don't stop1:03:41sinning. And under the law, you're1:03:43you're you're not even you're you're1:03:45you're not sinning because you're it's1:03:47out of fear. You're not sinning out of1:03:50you're not obeying out of love. You're1:03:52obeying out of fear. And how how does it1:03:54that's not even biblical, right? So what1:03:57I say to people is like they have this1:04:00performative mindset. Anyone who asks1:04:02that question or it's difficult for them1:04:04to to to grasp, like if y'all are1:04:06listening, the truth is this and I'm1:04:08just going to keep it real. You have a1:04:09performative mindset. You think if I1:04:12stop sinning x amount of times, God will1:04:14reward me x amount of times. That's the1:04:17core issue that we all have to address.1:04:19That's why they ask that endless cycle.1:04:21That's why they go, "Well, okay, but1:04:23what if I do this?" Or they try to find1:04:24loopholes because they've never sadly1:04:28experienced the true love of God. They1:04:31think that they have, right? So, a lot1:04:34of people have this heart deep, deep1:04:36down, and I want everyone to listen to1:04:37this carefully. Do you have a heart to1:04:40prove to God1:04:42or do you have a heart that you're1:04:43approved by God? There's only those two1:04:45hearts. One is I got to prove to God1:04:48that I love him. The other one is no,1:04:50I'm approved by God. God has approved me1:04:532,000 years ago and keeps pointing me at1:04:56the cross and goes, "Hey, bro. Yeah, you1:04:58messed up, but look, this is why I sent1:04:59this." Versus people going, "I don't1:05:01care about the cross. Look at me. Look1:05:03what I did. I carry my own cross. I die1:05:06to myself. I I I me me." So you have to1:05:09make that decision, right? Are you a1:05:12person that follows God and is approved1:05:15by God or are you trying to prove to God1:05:18to to receive his approval? That's two1:05:21different people. It's very similar, but1:05:23it's not. It's completely opposite ends1:05:24of the spectrum. One goes, I can't do1:05:26it. That's why he did it all, and I1:05:28accept that, and I'm approved because he1:05:30did it all. Another one is, yes, he did1:05:33it all, but I still got to prove myself1:05:35every single day. I got to work out my1:05:36salvation every single day until the1:05:38very end. I must overcome. If I don't, I1:05:40lose my salvation. You know, the crazy1:05:42thing is people who think that they can1:05:44lose your salvation always [snorts] tie1:05:46it back to their own works. For example,1:05:49a person will say, "Can you lose your1:05:52salvation?" Yes. How? If I deliberately1:05:56or I willfully sin. So then it it that1:06:00that's an issue though. That means your1:06:03salvation doesn't come from the blood of1:06:05Jesus Christ. Your salvation comes from1:06:07your ability to manage your deliberate1:06:10sins. So what saves you is not even the1:06:13blood. It's you going if I don't sin1:06:16however I want that's what saves me. See1:06:18I I manage it. Even if you say no Jesus1:06:21died, he died on the cross. But negating1:06:24everything he he does. I need to still1:06:27not sin however I want. I need to also1:06:30bounce with my eyes so I don't look at1:06:32women. I got to do like that's still you1:06:35believing in your behavioral management1:06:36to save you. Right? And if you flip it1:06:39on its head, if Jesus doesn't die on the1:06:42cross, even if you don't look at women1:06:45lustfully, you're not going to be1:06:46perfect. You're going to struggle here1:06:48and there. Can you get to heaven even if1:06:51you just keep the commandments? If you1:06:52did, you then have to answer, why did1:06:55Jesus have to die? Cuz some people can1:06:57keep the commandments. So then why does1:06:59he have to die? Is God this cosmic cruel1:07:02dictator who literally abuses his own1:07:04son to death, kills him, hangs up on him1:07:08up on the cross naked and exposes him in1:07:10front of everybody, allows everybody to1:07:12beat on him, spit on him, step on him,1:07:14and whoop him. Like why would he lap1:07:17allow him to do that? It's because he's1:07:20proving that, yo, none of you guys can1:07:22get to heaven except through this this1:07:24dude, which is God, which is Jesus in1:07:26the flesh. But you keep thinking, "No,1:07:29no, no. Yes, Jesus died." Minimizing him1:07:32and going, "I, however, me putting1:07:34myself on the throne. I need to do this,1:07:36this, and this. I need to stop sinning,1:07:38stop lusting, stop drinking, stop1:07:39smoking. I need to stop every single1:07:40single thing." And it's like, then you1:07:43don't believe in Jesus respectfully. You1:07:46believe in your ability to be like1:07:48Jesus. You believe in your ability to1:07:50maintain your sins like Jesus to then1:07:53wash your own sins essentially and be1:07:55like Jesus in that way. You don't need1:07:57Jesus then.1:07:58>> You just need you just you trust1:08:00yourself.1:08:01>> There's these two people, right? And1:08:03we're mainly talking about Christians,1:08:05but what would you say to the third1:08:07person who's like,1:08:08>> "Yeah, you guys are crazy for believing1:08:10in the I mean, this kind of like veers1:08:12off to a deeper topic." Yeah.1:08:13>> But for the people out there that are1:08:15like there's no proof of God, like you1:08:18know, it's like the proof to me like if1:08:19God was real and and performed these1:08:22miracles or if Jesus was a real person1:08:24or Jesus is like any other prophet in in1:08:27history books, he's just a Muhammad or a1:08:28Buddha to me. But you guys go and um you1:08:32guys go and believe that, right? My1:08:35actions don't really determine anything1:08:36or like I'm a morally good person,1:08:38right? Okay. Well, what's morally good?1:08:40Well, I don't kill people. I don't do1:08:41anything. It's it's obvious what's1:08:43morally good. You know what I'm saying?1:08:45>> Um1:08:47what do you what do you say to those1:08:48people? I mean, you could live nice1:08:51nicely and still be morally good and you1:08:53can be a philanthropist and you can feed1:08:56a h 100,000 people in your lifetime and1:08:58do all that and still not get to heaven.1:09:02Like people make money out here. We we1:09:04see them. They don't need God in and in1:09:06fact they mock God and they still get1:09:08blessings because God is a God of grace.1:09:10He'll give you everything. He will let1:09:13you. Sometimes the most holy thing and1:09:15spiritual thing is to let somebody walk1:09:18away.1:09:20Is to literally let somebody do what1:09:22they want to do. Is to let go of1:09:24somebody. I'm not saying God lets go of1:09:26people. But he goes, "Hey, look, if you1:09:28are okay without me,1:09:31I'm not going to force you to be with1:09:32me." Like that's what free will is.1:09:35That's what true love is. Love honors1:09:37choice. God is not going to be like,1:09:39"Oh, I'm I need to make sure that you're1:09:42with me. Like there are times where God1:09:44will go, "Cool.1:09:47You can be great. You can make heaven on1:09:48this earth. Handle your business." You1:09:50can't escape the judgment. But if you1:09:52don't care about that, that's fine, too.1:09:55At the end of the day, God is not going1:09:57to force anybody to do anything. He will1:10:01work his way cuz he doesn't want to lose1:10:02us. But there are people who are1:10:05genuinely like, I don't care about God.1:10:07I don't want to be around him. Whether I1:10:10hate him or it's church hurt or1:10:11whatever, like I made my decision and1:10:13they're called reprobate. They don't1:10:15want to sit there and listen to God at1:10:17all. What can he do with people like1:10:20that? Absolutely nothing. Jesus preached1:10:23the gospel to many people. He is the1:10:25gospel in the flesh, incarnate. And yet,1:10:29not everybody believed him. Why? Because1:10:32that's what free will is. He gave Satan1:10:35Lucifer all of heaven. The only thing he1:10:39didn't give him was the throne. Bro1:10:41still went against him. Why? Because he1:10:44honors choice. Okay, I'm going to give1:10:45you everything and whatever you want. If1:10:49you choose that as your idol and as that1:10:51as your god, so be it. That's your1:10:53choice, too. He honors every single1:10:55thing, which I think is really gangster1:10:57about God. If God forced us to do1:11:00something, then that's like him. He has1:11:01cheat codes then. It's like, bro, you're1:11:03just going to force me to do whatever1:11:05you want. Like, then that's not love.1:11:08Then he would be a liar. And so, I think1:11:10for anybody who's living like, "Oh, I'm1:11:11good. I don't need God."1:11:14All I ask is that you be real with1:11:15yourself. And I said this to to one of1:11:18the brothers, too, who was like, "Oh, I1:11:20fell away from God. I just, you know,1:11:22was walking." He was like walking around1:11:23the the place and he he just came in and1:11:25heard my sermon and he said the same1:11:27thing, which is ironic. He's like, "Bro,1:11:29like, why can't you just do good? Like1:11:31why do you all need to to follow a book1:11:34and like listen to this white Jesus guy1:11:36like and the pastor's Korean like he's1:11:38not even Jewish like this guy's over1:11:40here like just preaching and this other1:11:42guy is a black pastor and like Jesus1:11:44doesn't even care about you guys like1:11:45why you guys even care about him like he1:11:47was literally like he kept it real and I1:11:50was just like yo bro like are you happy?1:11:53That's the one thing I asked him. Thank1:11:55you for being honest. Can I be real with1:11:56you though since you're keeping that1:11:57energy? Let me keep the energy. Are you1:11:59happy? Well, I mean, no one's happy1:12:01really. Like, I mean, you know, this1:12:03world is blah blah. And I'm just like,1:12:04okay, so then1:12:06I'll be honest, like when I look at1:12:08these pastors,1:12:10they're not wandering the streets. Like,1:12:12they're not doing those like they don't1:12:14they're not even worried about like1:12:15they're preaching the gospel. They're1:12:17happy. They have they can go places1:12:18like, you know, and if you're not living1:12:23better than them respectfully, like1:12:24where then do you draw like from your1:12:27like logically speaking, right? And I'm1:12:29just like being logical.1:12:31Where do you draw your happiness and1:12:32where do you draw your peace? Cuz if you1:12:34say from yourself, you just told me that1:12:36you're not really happy. So then where1:12:39like I just want to understand your1:12:40thought process behind it. He had1:12:42nothing to say. He literally was like,1:12:45well, you know, uh well, like he didn't1:12:48know what to say. [snorts] And so I'm1:12:50like, again, anybody here, there's going1:12:54to be atheists that stumble across.1:12:55There's going to be people who who1:12:56don't, you know, I'm not saying attack1:12:58them or fight them or debate them. But1:13:00the one thing I think anyone has to1:13:02think about is am I truly happy, right?1:13:05Am I happier following myself? Um, if1:13:08you guys are, more power to you, right?1:13:12You don't I can't make you care about1:13:13heaven. No one can. But at the end of1:13:15the day, if you're being real, like all1:13:18I'm asking is live by the standards that1:13:20you ask everybody to live by, which is1:13:22y'all need to be real. Y'all shouldn't1:13:24be following the Bible because that's1:13:25not real. We know what real is. Okay,1:13:27cool. Then be real with yourself, too.1:13:29If you're happy 100%, please follow1:13:32yourself to the core. Pastor Kim says1:13:33this all the time. If you have no flaws1:13:35in your life and you have your life1:13:38under control and everything is1:13:39genuinely okay. Follow yourself. You1:13:41have every right to. But to the people1:13:43who don't, and I think most people, 99%1:13:45are not where they want to be. They just1:13:47have accepted that they have to be1:13:49there. [snorts] what what I mean what1:13:52does it hurt to sit there and go you1:13:54know what I might have messed up I1:13:55didn't lead my life correctly let's try1:13:58something else out you know and that1:13:59would actually be the smarter thing to1:14:01do it doesn't have to be religion but1:14:03definitely it it it can't be self it's1:14:05something's got to shift you know so1:14:07that's what I say to them1:14:09>> I think about things in my life and I'm1:14:11like okay I wasn't able to accept that1:14:14blessing from God because I wasn't ready1:14:16even though I thought I wanted something1:14:18or maybe you can think of examples in1:14:19your life where you're like, "Oh, I had1:14:21to go through certain things before God1:14:24allowed me to accept this blessing."1:14:26Like, he opened up the heart container,1:14:28right? So, let me think of an example.1:14:30Let's say you're like bad with money.1:14:32>> Yeah.1:14:32>> So, God's not going to give you a1:14:34million dollars cuz it's probably going1:14:35to corrupt you.1:14:36>> Yeah.1:14:36>> So, at some point, there's probably1:14:38something that needs to happen in your1:14:39life,1:14:40>> whether he teaches you1:14:42>> discipline. I I don't know what he has1:14:44to teach you to then maybe you get1:14:47financial security or whatever it is. Is1:14:49that true or would you say that's true1:14:52or false or1:14:52>> I mean yes but it also depends right1:14:55like all these questions is always it1:14:57depends1:14:58>> because again like heart posture right1:15:00so1:15:01>> so is it wrong for somebody though1:15:06like let's say for me I'm like okay um I1:15:09know that I can be an impatient person1:15:12and I know that that probably doesn't1:15:14help my relationships platonic work or1:15:17loving like you1:15:19whatever. And I'm not thinking that God1:15:21is blocking relationships from my life.1:15:24But I am thinking that maybe if I worked1:15:27on or if God helped me work on this,1:15:30then there would probably be something1:15:32else that he could give to me because he1:15:34could trust me with that.1:15:35>> Is that wrong or right thinking?1:15:37>> That's not wrong or right, but that'll1:15:38be proven in time.1:15:40>> Mhm.1:15:40>> Right. Like that could be right. That1:15:43could be wrong. I think like what we've1:15:46through all of that what's liberating is1:15:48going1:15:50you could snap your fingers and give me1:15:52patience right now.1:15:54Uh you're not doing it and you're not1:15:56going to force me or you might I don't1:15:58know but all I'm going to do is trust1:16:01that where I'm at right now is exactly1:16:02where I need to be.1:16:05And it's like it Yeah.1:16:07>> Did you have that thought when you were1:16:09in at all in the three years of1:16:10murderous thoughts or1:16:12>> Yeah.1:16:13>> Really? Yeah, I did. I was like,1:16:14>> but then you'd still just fall back.1:16:16>> Okay.1:16:17>> Yeah, because it it's it's situation is1:16:20what makes people fall back,1:16:22>> right? I think everything is good. Like1:16:25you're genuinely peaceful and then it1:16:27comes and you're just like, oh, you1:16:28start spiraling again. That's every1:16:30single person goes through this. But the1:16:33one thing is1:16:36what what what I was I think what's1:16:38really beautiful about people who are1:16:39saved is that they have that backd1:16:41dooror1:16:42>> of going all right let me sit back yes1:16:44I'm spiraling around yes I have the1:16:46murderous thoughts but like what did1:16:47pastor say versus1:16:50when you didn't even have that you're1:16:53just murderous it's just it's so crazy1:16:56so the grace behind everything I realize1:16:58is having the things that you didn't1:17:00have before I couldn't see my level up.1:17:02That was the problem. And so that's why1:17:05for so long it wasn't even that I wasn't1:17:07leveled up. It was like, oh my gosh, I1:17:10couldn't see my level my level up1:17:12because my level up to me wasn't a level1:17:14up, if that makes sense.1:17:16>> And so in that way, that's why I was1:17:19struggling so much.1:17:20>> It's not It was all self-induced, as1:17:23crazy as that sounds. Does that make1:17:25people angry? It can. But for me, it was1:17:28necessary. Why? Because now I can1:17:31understand how where I have to just shut1:17:34up. I look at people and I go, you're1:17:37you're going to go through it, bro.1:17:39[laughter]1:17:40Cuz I went through it and I don't want1:17:43you to. And I'm begging you and my hope1:17:46is that you don't, but you're going to1:17:48go through it. If you keep on doing it,1:17:50you're going to go through it. And so I1:17:52had to like think about that, right? For1:17:54three years, I had those thoughts. It1:17:57just came out of the blue.1:18:00And it was all because of fear1:18:03>> and it was all because of expectations1:18:06which now makes me think which m so1:18:09crazy to say this. I am so thankful that1:18:12I had all of those thoughts. I am so1:18:16thankful that I spiraled countless1:18:18nights, packed up my stuff, left, told1:18:22pastor, called pastor John was like,1:18:25"Yo, I'm out."1:18:27And just dipped. left missions trips1:18:29like when I went to Thailand just went1:18:32there I was supposed to stay for x1:18:34amount of time flew back and just dipped1:18:36I did it all why because all of that1:18:40needed to happen for me to go oh my gosh1:18:43dude everyone who's going to go through1:18:46this I now understand and I can get1:18:48through this and help other people and1:18:50so I think what where where pastor is1:18:53goated both pastors three pastors1:18:56actually pastor Han1:18:58is1:18:59they were like1:19:01he's going to get through it and God's1:19:04going to work1:19:06that like they they always had even at1:19:09that time I couldn't understand. I was1:19:11like I thought they didn't care about1:19:13me. They had faith so much that it was1:19:16like he'll be all right. But you know1:19:19when you're freaking out and you're like1:19:20what do you mean I'll be all right? Like1:19:22that's that's that was what was my1:19:23biggest problem. And and it got to the1:19:26point where I got I I had gotten just1:19:27tired of myself,1:19:29like extremely tired to the point where1:19:32it won't get to that position anymore.1:19:34Yeah, there's times where I get1:19:35frustrated as Jeremy and Aaron. I get1:19:37mad, but it's like1:19:40a little conversation and it's done. Oh1:19:43my gosh.1:19:44We like I hope pastor can come on.1:19:47Honestly, he will tell you the times1:19:49where there is no getting through to me.1:19:52[snorts] Like it doesn't matter. I have1:19:53a mouthpiece and I can make it to where1:19:56everything is right if I want to. Like I1:19:59can pull up all the nasty stuff,1:20:00everything. And I I would win and I1:20:03would do that with them. I would scuffle1:20:05and I would I would be like, "All1:20:06right." But if that's the case, the1:20:08Bible says this and it was it was like1:20:10literally1:20:12Pastor Kim would be like this. It is so1:20:14tiring fighting with Satan. And I'm1:20:17like, I'm the one like my face is like1:20:18this. Like I'm the one talking. Why are1:20:21you calling me Satan? I thought I was1:20:22righteous. And he would just it would1:20:24just go for hours. We would be fighting1:20:26each other, especially early on, like1:20:28three years into the walk. Four years1:20:30into the walk. And so [snorts]1:20:32I was able to then sit there and now go,1:20:34"Yeah, let's have a conversation. Hey,1:20:36Jeremy, this is what I felt about it. I1:20:38don't know. Okay, I'm sorry. Okay,1:20:40cool." And that's it. Hey, Aaron word, I1:20:42have an issue. Hey, whatever. What?1:20:44Like, right? And at the end of the day,1:20:47it's like even that has been sheltered.1:20:50Like I really appreciate pastor cuz when1:20:53I would say I'm done1:20:55it's over. Like I'm done. I would leave.1:20:58And and and Pastor John will attest to1:21:01this. He would stress out so much cuz I1:21:04would literally just block everybody,1:21:07change my number, change my number like1:21:09five times like and just disappear. And1:21:13they would be like, "Dang, is this guy1:21:14going to be dead? He's going to be doing1:21:16crazy stuff? We don't know." You know,1:21:18it wasn't 8 years though. It wasn't five1:21:20plus the three Jerome. It was the first1:21:23three years and then in that fifth year1:21:25it was like more like spiraling on a1:21:28different occasion.1:21:30>> Yeah. But more so of like what the heck?1:21:33Why would he throw my stuff away? And1:21:34then you know and then that would then1:21:36kind of get there but it wouldn't be1:21:38like like it was bad. Yeah, it was bad1:21:42now that I think about it.1:21:44So, if you guys want to go deeper with1:21:46the Bible unlocks and just having these1:21:48biblical resources, guys, we created an1:21:50app called Core of the Heart Daily.1:21:51Every single morning, I write a personal1:21:53daily devotional. It helps you start1:21:55your day with God and make God a habit1:21:57in your life. We also have the King1:21:59James version Bible where you can1:22:00annotate, you can highlight. We also1:22:02have a Gospel bot where it's trained on1:22:05my teachings for the past 10 years. All1:22:07my secret notes, my sermons, all the1:22:09lives and the Q&As's, everything is in1:22:12there. So, it will answer your questions1:22:14when you don't have that pastor at 2:001:22:16a.m. in the night time and you're1:22:17spiraling. And check it out, guys, if1:22:19you want to download it. It's on the app1:22:20store called Horror of the Heart Daily.1:22:22Link is in the description. Back to the1:22:24episode.1:22:25Why are you lying about our phone calls?1:22:28He'll call me be like, Aaron, we got to1:22:30run the fade. [laughter]1:22:32Cold to my house at 4.1:22:34>> I don't do that.1:22:35>> No, I'm just kidding. Phone calls are1:22:36very friendly. You're right. It is just1:22:38like one little conversation.1:22:39>> You've never fought us, but you've1:22:40thought it. No.1:22:42>> Yes, you have. Don't you?1:22:43>> He walks up on me. He's like,1:22:44>> "Dude, you always think that, Jeremy.1:22:46You always think I'll kill you or1:22:48something."1:22:48>> There's no way you haven't thought it.1:22:50>> Always thinks I'm going to murder1:22:51people.1:22:52>> Johnny, I think I'm having murderous1:22:53thoughts again.1:22:54>> Get him out of here before I [laughter]1:22:57>> do something. I don't want to.1:23:00>> What are you doing? Are you taking a1:23:02photo of me?1:23:02>> Yeah. Wait. Be angry and point at me.1:23:06>> Yep. Yeah. Do it again. Both of you.1:23:11I'm gonna do POV. Johnny's yelling at1:23:13you again on the Unreal Wisdom1:23:14[laughter] podcast.1:23:17>> Put that on the on the1:23:20>> People think I'm mean to you. That's so1:23:22crazy.1:23:23>> Oh, yeah. Why would they think that?1:23:25They must be1:23:25>> because you would literally sit there1:23:27and say that and then1:23:28>> I I sometimes come in on the main stage1:23:30and Johnny's just slandering me.1:23:32[laughter]1:23:32>> No, I'm not.1:23:34>> Just using me like,1:23:36>> "No, I'm not. It's just1:23:37>> he's like1:23:38>> gay, stubborn, [laughter] like1:23:42>> all true. No, I'm just kidding.1:23:44>> I think they probably all think we're1:23:46all way meaner to each other than we1:23:48actually are.1:23:48>> Yeah, that's facts.1:23:49>> That's how you know we're all true1:23:51friends. Like if you're if people are1:23:52dogging on each other, it's cuz they're1:23:54friends. If we stop being mean to each1:23:56other, you know there's a deeper issue.1:23:58>> Yeah, exactly.1:23:58>> That's why I'm never mean to Jeremy.1:24:00[laughter]1:24:00>> Don't stop being mean to me.1:24:03>> We're We're such good friends because of1:24:05that. [laughter] Jeremy, stop. Because1:24:07people will literally sit there and1:24:08think that. They actually think like1:24:10we're mean to him cuz he'll sit there1:24:12and go, "Oh, yeah, Johnny. Yeah, I have1:24:15a boss who just cracks the whip.1:24:17[laughter] I never crack the Okay,1:24:19that's not true. But I don't crack the1:24:21whip like that, bro. Do I? [laughter]1:24:26Well, that's the end of the episode.1:24:31>> That was a good episode. It was really1:24:33good. I I like the personal stories. is1:24:35I like when you go out there and you1:24:36learn something and you bring it look1:24:37like you did.1:24:38>> Speaking of that, I actually have1:24:39>> What you mean? Oh [laughter] my god.1:24:41See? Hey, see this? Oh wow. See? Hey,1:24:44this is1:24:45>> me angry.1:24:46>> What are you?1:24:47>> Yeah. You don't even say hi. He walks in1:24:49and doesn't even say hi.1:24:50>> I did.1:24:51>> Says, "Hi." And then after he just sits1:24:52there on his phone like this.1:24:55>> That's what he did. Danny goes, "Hey,1:24:57may I have a rebuttal?"1:25:00>> No.1:25:00>> Okay. I can't. Thank you. One rebuttal.1:25:03[laughter]1:25:04At what? At what point today did I sit1:25:06in this chair1:25:09when we started? Other than that, I was1:25:11helping silly boy.1:25:13>> Oh yeah, silly boy.1:25:15>> Do the lighting, move the things around,1:25:16package move around.1:25:17>> You didn't have to be so rude when he1:25:19came in. Johnny came in. He's like,1:25:20"This guy's here. Everyone."1:25:22>> I didn't say that. I said, "Hey, I1:25:24know." Yeah. No, he [laughter] wasn't1:25:25me. I'm just kidding.1:25:26>> I'm playing.1:25:27>> Just kidding.1:25:28>> Guys, see company punching bag.1:25:31>> No, Jeremy.1:25:32>> Call me Everlast.1:25:33>> [laughter]1:25:35>> Everlast is crazy. Everlast is great.1:25:39Yo, you're funny. This1:25:40>> is not fair. [laughter]1:25:42>> I need grace. God, give these people1:25:44grace. Give these people grace. Give1:25:46these people grace. Give these people1:25:47grace. [laughter]1:25:49>> Give these people grace. Somewhere in1:25:51this direction.1:25:52>> You don't need grace. Jeremy, what do1:25:54you struggle with?1:25:56>> Honestly. Honestly, like do you There1:25:58was a thing that you said that was like1:26:01I don't know how to What did you say?1:26:04You said1:26:05>> I know what he struggles with.1:26:07>> You know, lust, homosexual thoughts,1:26:09[laughter]1:26:11finances, glutton. I think it'd be1:26:14shorter to make a list of what you don't1:26:16>> No more.1:26:17>> No, you look good. That's right.1:26:19>> No, you've been good with the that for1:26:21real. I got I got my six-pack back.1:26:24>> It took a lot. I took I relapsed many1:26:26times along the way,1:26:28>> but I finally1:26:29>> got my sixack back.1:26:31>> Dude, you have so much grace, Jeremy.1:26:32Honestly, when I think about it, you1:26:34know how many people try to put their1:26:36mind to do those things and they can't,1:26:37bro? Dang. Do you feel thankful for1:26:40that? Honestly.1:26:41>> Well, lately I have been. There's also1:26:43things about me where I'm like1:26:45>> I'm less about like1:26:47>> you could be so regimented about it.1:26:48Like for example, there's like a1:26:50pinching in my hip and me and George1:26:51have been working on it for months.1:26:53Eight months. It's really annoying. It's1:26:55like painful.1:26:56>> Eight months.1:26:57>> Eight months. I've had it forever.1:26:58>> And then you start to, you know, there's1:27:00part of me where I'm like, okay, like I1:27:03start to do my own research and I'm like1:27:05doing these little I'm I'm just like I1:27:07just want to fix it at all costs. I'm1:27:09tired of it.1:27:10>> Yeah, I feel you.1:27:11>> But old me is like I'll fix it no matter1:27:13what. But Numei is like, "Okay, I'm1:27:15gonna try my best and God, if God1:27:17willing, please get rid of the pinch."1:27:19>> Um,1:27:20>> dang, that's crazy.1:27:21>> But you didn't answer him, though.1:27:24>> I struggle with that. What I struggle1:27:25with,1:27:27>> I think I struggle with um1:27:30continually trying to remind myself that1:27:33other people need grace.1:27:35>> Oh, that's a good one.1:27:37>> For certain things, especially when it's1:27:38like you want to get from point A to1:27:40point B, it seems pretty obvious to me,1:27:42>> right? M1:27:43>> and then it doesn't happen in a certain1:27:45way.1:27:47And whether or not I'm patient 10 times,1:27:50three times, one times, zero times, I1:27:52that's what I struggle with.1:27:54>> You need grace for that, too.1:27:55>> Yeah.1:27:56>> Yeah.1:27:56>> I struggle with that.1:27:57>> You've been a lot better, bro. Honestly,1:27:59like kind of It's kind of crazy.1:28:01>> Hey, you're probably like1:28:03>> compliment this year. [laughter] I'm1:28:05just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just1:28:06kidding.1:28:07>> Having murderous thoughts again.1:28:08>> I know, dude. Do you guys realize how1:28:11hard it is to not have murder starts1:28:12with this guy? [laughter]1:28:14>> Hey, hey,1:28:15>> I'm literally complimenting him and he1:28:17sits there and just goes, "First1:28:19compliment of1:28:20>> Hey, hey, hey. What's1:28:21>> turn the cameras?1:28:22>> Hey, what what is the worst thought1:28:23you've had about me where you're like, I1:28:25want to if you said not murderous maybe,1:28:28but been like I want to punch you in the1:28:29head."1:28:30>> No, not that even. It was more of like1:28:33>> Look at his face change. Look at that1:28:34scary ass.1:28:35>> Well, I'm think I'm thinking1:28:38He literally was his eyes. His eyes. You1:28:41saw the face. It was literally like,1:28:43>> "Bro, he's just the woman. That's the1:28:45problem, [laughter]1:28:46>> dude." No, I'm seriously like I'm J I'm1:28:49trying to be real. What is the thing1:28:51I've ever thought?1:28:53>> Was it the time I wanted to pop his head1:28:55like a1:28:55>> Oh, that that Jeremy doesn't that you1:28:57don't really mess with me.1:29:00>> And that made me really sad, honestly.1:29:02>> But what made you think that?1:29:03>> I don't remember. I just remember like,1:29:06does this guy really even care? Like,1:29:09there's there's hearts like that that1:29:11pop up sometimes, genuinely, where it's1:29:12like, bro, doesn't even care. And1:29:15honestly, Jeremy's not even doing it.1:29:16He's just sitting there like [laughter]1:29:18what the like it just happens, guys. It1:29:21happens. But that's with everybody. I'm1:29:23like that with everybody. I've had that1:29:25with Aaron, too, where I'm like, Aaron1:29:26doesn't care about me. But honestly,1:29:29when that's why, guys, having fellowship1:29:31is very important. like reaching out and1:29:34going, "Yo, I felt like this, but that's1:29:36the hard part, right?" And and and of1:29:39going, "Hey, I felt this way."1:29:41>> Because then when I do that, even they1:29:44like I know they have love for me, but1:29:47there's a heart still that goes, "If you1:29:49do this, they're going to look down on1:29:50you. Like they're going to judge you."1:29:53And when they go, "Dude, we don't judge1:29:55you ever." There's like that you have1:29:58two choices. Either to go, "Yeah, amen.1:30:01They're not going to judge like they're1:30:02being honest or nah that's not true.1:30:04Look, they say that but they have to say1:30:06there's only those two. Depending on1:30:08what heart you accept is how you're1:30:10going to it's how you're going to be1:30:11affected, how the relationship will1:30:13flow. So, I [clears throat] think that's1:30:15a really good thing that I've I've had1:30:18to remind myself cuz when you're1:30:21preaching and you're by yourself, you're1:30:23not really working with the team. Like1:30:26genuinely, you're I I it's easy to just1:30:28to hide behind Pastor Kim. Like that's1:30:31what people don't realize. Just like all1:30:33cor core of the hard people, it's easy1:30:34to hide behind me. Oh, I'll just turn on1:30:36the mainstage and Johnny will say it and1:30:37then he doesn't have to breathe. Like1:30:38I'll just show a video to my friend. I1:30:40don't have to breathe. So I don't get1:30:41like and then they'll call him a heretic1:30:43if they don't agree. Like I don't have1:30:44to literally that's what it is, right?1:30:46Blame Johnny Chang came out of that,1:30:48right? Blame him. He's the one who said1:30:49that. I didn't say anything. I agree1:30:51with it, but I didn't know. Like it's1:30:52this. But when you venture out on your1:30:55own, it's this thing of like, nah, you1:30:58got to put on your big boy pants. And1:31:00there's times where you're going to have1:31:02to be weak and vulnerable. And you may1:31:04not want other people to see you weak1:31:05and vulnerable, honestly. But and that's1:31:07the painful thing. But the beautiful1:31:09thing is I have like teammates here who1:31:12are like, "Bro, it's cool for you to be1:31:13weak and vulnerable. Like, you don't1:31:15have to be the the the person that never1:31:17messes up and doesn't dist like distrust1:31:20their thoughts all the time. Like, it's1:31:21okay." And I think that's the most1:31:23beautiful thing, that type of bond.1:31:26It's like Satan tries to stop that1:31:28because it's me being a perfectionist,1:31:31like I have to be like this level,1:31:33right? Being the leader, etc. But1:31:35there's times where I can go, "Yeah, I1:31:36messed up or I suck or I'm not as good1:31:38and and that's okay." And and a lot of1:31:40the times I'll think like I'll pity you1:31:44guys like, "Dang, you guys got to like1:31:45work with someone like me." which is my1:31:47own thoughts obviously, but if I'm being1:31:50honest, like humilitywise, it's like1:31:52it's hard to work with someone who's an1:31:54ex gang member, who doesn't really know1:31:56much about technology, who's not as good1:31:59at social media, uh, you know, and and1:32:02all those things and and it's just like,1:32:04dang, like1:32:06>> I would disagree with you.1:32:07>> I know. I know.1:32:09>> There's a long list of people that truly1:32:11don't know technology [laughter]1:32:13or don't know social media. I think you1:32:15know pretty well. you grew to, you know,1:32:17>> I had to send DVDs to Palinsky.1:32:20[laughter] Like, come on.1:32:22>> Well, Palinsky is a little bit1:32:23different, you know.1:32:24>> Well, the guy who asked for the DVDs1:32:25wasn't1:32:26>> question. Do you ever do you ever think1:32:28about us and be like, "Ah, they have to1:32:29work with someone like me1:32:31>> all the time. Every week."1:32:33>> Okay. [laughter] Good, good, good, good.1:32:34I'm just making sure.1:32:36>> Okay.1:32:37>> You should is No, [laughter] you I'm1:32:39just1:32:40>> Hey, man. He was making fun of me. Oh,1:32:43look at this guys.1:32:44>> He tries He tries to like actually1:32:46struggle with being disrespected, but1:32:47you just fueled [laughter] that a little1:32:48more. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just1:32:50kidding.1:32:52[laughter]1:32:53Guys,1:32:56>> yeah, you think like that though, Erin?1:32:58That's crazy.1:32:58>> Wait, what? Which one? [laughter]1:33:00>> He's like, what? No, that was a joke.1:33:02>> Was I joking?1:33:02>> Where he's like, no, he's like where1:33:04it's like, man, they got to work with1:33:05me.1:33:06>> Oh, yeah. Sometime I mean, I know that I1:33:08can be like really annoying to work with1:33:10sometimes. I hope that you guys give me1:33:11the grace, but then also realize like1:33:14>> everyone has their pros and cons. Like1:33:15no one1:33:16>> give you the grace. You're still here,1:33:17buddy.1:33:18>> Yeah. [laughter]1:33:19>> I saying no one's perfect and everyone1:33:21has their cons and I just try to not1:33:23like have more cons than pro. Obviously,1:33:25you don't want to [laughter]1:33:26>> You got to be faster than the last1:33:28person when the bear is chasing you.1:33:29>> Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.1:33:32>> As long as you're faster than Balin.1:33:34>> Yeah. [laughter]1:33:35>> Be better than than Aaron 2.0. Um, I1:33:38know I have my shortcomings for sure. I1:33:40always think like, yeah, if I was super1:33:42organized, detail oriented, never forgot1:33:44a thing, it would be so much I'd be a1:33:46joy to work with there. Just like I know1:33:47that there's things that just because of1:33:49how my brain works, how I think of1:33:50things, I can't do other things. But1:33:52it's just like1:33:53>> I think that goes a long way. Like1:33:55having a heart like that is what helps1:33:57me be like, man, we all need grace.1:33:59Everyone's trying, you know? It's like,1:34:01yes, we we have times where it's like,1:34:03man, I wish I could do even I'm hard on1:34:05myself. like, man, why am I not doing1:34:06this better? But that's that thing that1:34:09what Jeremy was saying. It's like you1:34:12also have to give grace, I think, to1:34:13yourself more than anything, man. That's1:34:15like the toughest thing.1:34:17>> Giving grace to other people is is1:34:18difficult.1:34:20>> Giving grace to yourself is like the the1:34:22hard at least for me is the hardest1:34:24thing.1:34:25>> It's like this heart of like you should1:34:26you know better, bro. You know, you1:34:28shouldn't be. And it's like, bro, but1:34:30that's it's it's just you need grace,1:34:33>> guys. I'm going to be in San Jose and1:34:36San Francisco1:34:38May 15th and May 17th.1:34:40>> After service is a free live event about1:34:42the gospel. You can come see a sermon1:34:44biblically by Johnny. You he'll do a1:34:46live Q&A and answer all of your1:34:47questions. There might be some worship1:34:49there. I think there is some worship1:34:50there. And you're going to meet the1:34:51community and1:34:53>> Oh, there's worship right now. Okay. Um1:34:56there's going to be a meet and greet1:34:57opportunity where you can take pictures1:34:58with Johnny. Meet the whole community.1:35:00Maybe he'll sign your t-shirt. They're1:35:01gonna sell merch.1:35:04>> Oh yeah, J sometimes there. So, it's a1:35:07fun free live event at the end of the1:35:09day. Text NorCal to 32361335771:35:15to RSVP. Um, from there, it'll just ask1:35:18you if you're going to San Francisco or1:35:20San Jose. But that's how you RSVP for1:35:22each event. It's completely free. Anyone1:35:24you bring is free. So I just walked in1:35:26like what1:35:27>> the only way to get in is to download1:35:28the free app where you'll find your free1:35:31personal ticket, event ticket. Everyone1:35:33has one. It's really just for tracking.1:35:34We need to like legally know how many1:35:36people are in the church just for safety1:35:37and capacity and stuff, but also helps1:35:39us with data. You'll get um like a badge1:35:41of benefits for going. So you'll see on1:35:42your app and you get free two weeks of1:35:45gold your friends.1:35:46>> That's right. That's right.1:35:47>> Um but yeah, it's a great free live1:35:50event. Come. It's fun. And if you1:35:52download the app, all the information1:35:53will be on there.1:35:55>> That's the one thing for me, too, is I1:35:56kind of hope other people give me grace.1:35:58Like, I think I've been good at giving1:35:59other people grace. I've even been good1:36:01at giving myself grace. Like, I accept1:36:02my my shortcomings and I just hope that1:36:04other people can see it. And that's why1:36:05I've loved working with you for a really1:36:07long time because you are willing to1:36:08step in and like fill in the parts that1:36:10I'm not good at because it's like for1:36:12example, this is like the basis of how I1:36:14think. Like on my ACTs, I don't know if1:36:15you guys know ACTs, the perfect score is1:36:1736. Math got a 36. Science got a 35.1:36:20English got a 33. Reading I got a 21.1:36:24Like straight up, I have a reading1:36:25disability. And and I'm just dyslexic.1:36:27And I've always know and a little bit of1:36:29ADHD.1:36:29>> Fake news. It's not a real disease. But1:36:32I've taken it so many times and those1:36:34are all my best scores I've ever gotten1:36:35in each category and I could just never1:36:37crack reading. And I know that like um1:36:39just in life and in work I will always1:36:41struggle with certain things like that.1:36:43Like I haven't read a book start to1:36:44finish in maybe 10 years. And I just1:36:45hope the people around me can1:36:47>> not work around it but just understand1:36:50what I'm good at and understand what I'm1:36:51not. It's like1:36:52>> everything we do is now picture book1:36:55manuals for [laughter]1:36:56like a stick figure being like1:36:58>> we need video tutorials. Shout out Loom.1:37:00>> Yeah. Um,1:37:02>> but yeah,1:37:03>> stick figure is crazy.1:37:05>> We We accept you.1:37:06>> Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Hold his1:37:09hand so we can1:37:09>> Jeremy reads to me. He reads me bedtime1:37:11stories cuz he knows I can't read them.1:37:15>> Dude, Aaron's fingers are long.1:37:17>> Yeah, he went1:37:19to move. Let's [laughter]1:37:21>> over here. I had to stretch out the1:37:23frame and Aaron just went, "Dude,1:37:25[laughter]1:37:26I can't catch a break. I literally sent1:37:28a picture to my friend group from home1:37:30because I found another friend I was1:37:31holding a drink and they're all like why1:37:32are you holding it like that? I'm1:37:33[laughter] like that's just my hand.1:37:35>> It's like an octopus like wrapped1:37:37around.1:37:37>> They all started breaking it down like1:37:38they're like I think it's just his lanky1:37:40fingers. Like no but look at where his1:37:41pink is. I'm like guys [laughter]1:37:43literally just my hand. The first time I1:37:45noticed it was he was like typing on his1:37:48phone from back here. I was like cuz1:37:50like when I text I'm like literally like1:37:52right here. He was like he was like1:37:54yeah. Um, I was like, "What the1:37:57[laughter]1:37:57>> That's crazy."1:38:00Yeah. Like long. His toes are the same1:38:03length as his fingers, by the way.1:38:05>> Oh my gosh.1:38:06>> Big foot. No, but yeah, that concludes1:38:09this episode,1:38:11>> which we got announcements or anything.1:38:12>> Oh, so many.1:38:13>> Thank you. Wait. Well, there was you can1:38:14make this super quick, but there was one1:38:16follow-up question that I wanted to ask1:38:18because Jeremy asked if there's anyone1:38:19that you kind of look at and you're1:38:21like, they're going to have a difficult1:38:22time finding true salvation. And your1:38:24answer was yourself, which is a great1:38:25answer, and that was kind of in the1:38:26past, but now that you've seen it happen1:38:28for yourself, [laughter]1:38:32what are you laughing at?1:38:35>> Your implication. Your look is an1:38:37implication. What did I do?1:38:40>> I just [laughter]1:38:41literally1:38:41>> No. Uh, is there anyone still that you1:38:43think even after you've seen it done for1:38:45yourself and you might have been the1:38:46worst possible example, but still can1:38:48you look at someone at a live event or1:38:50something and be like,1:38:51>> I don't know if God I don't know if God1:38:52can can save this one, [sighs]1:38:55>> man. Like I don't know if anyone's worse1:38:58than him.1:39:00>> I think I think like there are people1:39:02that maybe on my own selfishness is1:39:05like, h man, like this guy's not going1:39:08to listen. But there isn't really anyone1:39:10who I'm like, "Oh, God can't save him."1:39:13Cuz I genuinely believe God can. And I1:39:15won't I don't know. I don't want to feel1:39:18stupid. Like I don't want to be like,1:39:19"Oh my gosh, that's the Cuz I'm living1:39:21proof of that, right?" Like so many1:39:24people hated on me, bro. Like I just got1:39:25to keep it real. Everybody was like,1:39:27"This guy is not going to learn, bro.1:39:29He's like baby. Like you guys cuddle him1:39:31too much." Blah blah blah. And in the1:39:33end, I'm just like I'm the fame it.1:39:35[laughter]1:39:36I'm fame it now, man. how you feel.1:39:40Angry, happy, [laughter]1:39:42no matter.1:39:44But [clears throat] so when I see1:39:46myself, I'm like, bro, if I could do it1:39:49like and God, not me, but God do it1:39:51through me. Like, why not, bro? I don't1:39:54think people, maybe people do, but I1:39:56don't think you guys understand how1:39:57crazy I am. Like, genuinely, how psycho1:40:00I am.1:40:00>> Oh, yeah. We know. No, I'm just kidding.1:40:02[laughter]1:40:02>> Why' you look at me, man? Why you1:40:04>> Cuz I wanted to see you little threats,1:40:07you know?1:40:08>> [gasps]1:40:08>> You're like, it's like it's like a1:40:10>> I'm like, you don't know how crazy I am,1:40:11guys. Psycho. If anybody crosses me, you1:40:15don't want to see how crazy I am.1:40:17[laughter] He was literally1:40:20I wanted to see if he was laughing and1:40:21he was. Jeremy has this thing where he1:40:23can't hide his face. So, one time1:40:25somebody farted right [laughter]1:40:28in the car. This was at Baptize Arizona.1:40:30Am I lying, Aaron? He literally sat1:40:32there.1:40:33>> Close space, by the way.1:40:34>> Close space. True. But you know1:40:36sometimes you guys like we can sit there1:40:37and go, "Oh, somebody ripped booty like1:40:40they just did it. It's nasty." Okay, but1:40:43you don't have to announce it.1:40:44>> No, we were filming something.1:40:45>> See now old man of Jeremy1:40:49sits here mids sentence he's saying1:40:51something. Yeah. So guys, what we're1:40:52going to What the hell? He right there.1:40:55He cuts [laughter]1:40:57somebody rip right and I'm just like1:41:01dying. [laughter]1:41:02Debo is on the camera like this dying1:41:05and we're just like why do you have to1:41:07announce it? And he's like what do you1:41:08mean we're in enclosed spaces? It1:41:10smells. It's not right. But there's1:41:12times where someone may have just1:41:14slipped it out. You know you you do the1:41:16silent but violent one. You're like ah1:41:18it's not that bad.1:41:19>> And then you're just over here like oh.1:41:21And everyone smells it and you feel like1:41:23super like embarrassed.1:41:26Jeremy will not he will literally sit1:41:28there and just he will not let you he1:41:30will not give you grace on that.1:41:31[laughter] He will sit there. So when I1:41:33see you do that, I just look over and as1:41:37I'm saying it, this is Jeremy's face.1:41:39[laughter]1:41:41>> That's not1:41:42>> Yes, it is.1:41:43>> You always pucker like you ate something1:41:44sour like1:41:45>> Yeah. He's like [laughter]1:41:50>> I tried to do the opposite. Like,1:41:52[laughter]1:41:55>> "Hey, Jeremy, your skin is glowing."1:41:57>> That's what I'm saying.1:41:57>> There's no filter. We thought he had1:41:59filter on in the Zoom. What are you1:42:01doing for?1:42:01>> Hey, this is healthy eating, exercise,1:42:05and Santa Cruz Paleo. Our boy Santa Cruz1:42:08medicinal.1:42:08>> Paid not beef tallow.1:42:10>> Wow.1:42:11>> A little bit of beef tallow.1:42:12>> You look like you have a filter on right1:42:13now. Thank you.1:42:14>> Maybe it's Balance Lighting or1:42:15something.1:42:15>> Also could be the new haircut. Shout out1:42:17Aaron, my barber. Oh, Aaron. Aaron.1:42:20>> That's 3.0.1:42:21>> Yeah, Aaron 3.0. I found a barber that1:42:24finally knows how to cut hair.1:42:25>> He's your He's in your Muay Thai class.1:42:26That guy?1:42:27>> Yeah. Yeah, he was in my Muay Thai.1:42:28Well, one day I just saw everyone come1:42:29into Muay Thai class with really good1:42:31haircuts. [laughter]1:42:32I swear. And I was just like I was just1:42:34like, "Dude, like why is everyone1:42:36suddenly getting haircuts?" Cuz he's1:42:37new. He came from the UK. And then I And1:42:39they're like, "Oh." I was like, "Yo,1:42:40where'd you get your like?" One kid had1:42:42a huge fro and then he came in with like1:42:44a really nice haircut. And I was like,1:42:45"Yo, who cut your hair?" He was like,1:42:47"Aaron." I was like, and then uh because1:42:50he's new here, he's trying to get1:42:51clients, so he's like, "Yo, let me cut1:42:52your hair or whatever."1:42:53>> What's What's the pricing?1:42:54>> $70.1:42:55>> Dang.1:42:57I'm going to go to1:42:58>> I leave him a tip also.1:43:00>> Well, I've been helping him with social1:43:02media so he doesn't he doesn't uh make1:43:04me leave a tip.1:43:05>> Dang.1:43:06>> But also what he was saying was uh uh1:43:09you know what's funny? His middle name1:43:10is Jamal. [laughter]1:43:12>> I was like no way.1:43:14>> Yeah.1:43:15>> But I mean Jamal's $60.1:43:17>> No, he's not.1:43:18>> It's $50.1:43:19>> 50 bucks.1:43:20>> Okay. 50 bucks.1:43:21>> Shout out Jamal.1:43:22>> Yeah. Y1:43:22>> I love Jamal, bro. And he watches my1:43:24stuff. He's like, "I look your YouTube.1:43:26YouTube. I look I look."1:43:26>> Are you going to shout out where they1:43:28could get his haircut? You're not going1:43:29to help him out or you don't want to You1:43:30don't want to dump?1:43:31>> Well, now they're going to look up.1:43:32Well, if they look up Jamal, they'll My1:43:34barber, too.1:43:35>> I'll shout out my barber. Etiquette1:43:36Barbers downtown Los Angeles. He's from1:43:38the UK. Go get your haircut by him. If1:43:41you want a legit haircut, he put me on1:43:43game. He was saying things no barbers1:43:45ever told me.1:43:45>> That's fire.1:43:46>> No, it looks good. Jerome,1:43:47>> thank you. Thank you.1:43:48>> You look younger, bro. Looks younger.1:43:50What the heck, dude? I'll put on my1:43:52barber. Krispy's barber shop on Fairfax.1:43:55If you guys want to look like this to1:43:57like cross that one up, make sure1:43:58[laughter]1:43:59never go to Krispy's barber shop1:44:02looking.1:44:03>> You can tell them whatever. They'll do1:44:04better than mine.1:44:05>> I [clears throat] tell them to not do1:44:07much.1:44:07>> Yeah.1:44:08>> All right. What's the announcements?1:44:10>> What happening in May? Foot, man.1:44:13>> So, it's going to be our get right with1:44:14God streamathon. Essentially, we're1:44:17going to get right with God for 31 days1:44:20in hopes that it continues on after1:44:23that. We're going to be using the app,1:44:24making God a habit daily in our lives.1:44:28Um, and I wrote, [clears throat] you1:44:30know, 31 devotionals specifically tied1:44:33to that. We're going to go through just1:44:34basically how to make God a habit. And1:44:36it's going to be phenomenal.1:44:40>> Streamathon.1:44:41>> I don't know. It's just something Aaron1:44:42and Jeremy told me that we're not1:44:44[laughter] just kidding.1:44:45this guy.1:44:47>> That's true.1:44:49>> It's not like we didn't work on this.1:44:52[laughter]1:44:53>> That's true.1:44:53>> He hates us.1:44:55>> Say your line.1:44:56>> Yeah. [laughter]1:44:58>> You got murderous thoughts now. No. Um,1:45:01>> Streamathon is basically every single1:45:03day at 9:00 a.m. I will be doing a live1:45:07stream with you guys. I'll be busting1:45:09out the app and we're going to go1:45:11through the app. It'll be a good 10, 151:45:13minutes, maybe 20 minutes. Um, and we're1:45:16basically all just gonna get right with1:45:18God. We're going to walk with God. We're1:45:19gonna have1:45:21>> We're gonna do your morning routine.1:45:22>> I'm going to do my morning routine with1:45:24you guys so you guys can be leveled up.1:45:27>> I love the consistency. Not only is it1:45:29meant to like build consistency with1:45:31making a habit with God, but just you1:45:33being able to consistently stream every1:45:35single day at the same day and time, uh,1:45:37like people are just going to know to1:45:38join at 9:00 a.m. It's like they'll just1:45:39they'll build that into a habit1:45:41themselves. Cuz like you guys love1:45:42watching Johnny's streams, but you kind1:45:44of got to find him. Is he here at this1:45:46time? Is he there at that time? When's1:45:47the main stage? When's the podcast? But1:45:49every single morning, all platforms,1:45:529:00 a.m., you'll know exactly where he1:45:54is. No one has to wonder where he's1:45:55going to be in May. every morning 9:001:45:57a.m.1:45:58>> I think the most valuable thing is1:46:01you're going to show them how you read1:46:03the Bible because you always say read to1:46:04except not to understand and it's like1:46:05okay and then even when I like kind of1:46:07drilled it in like drilled you with a1:46:09million questions you finally were like1:46:11this is how you read to understand it's1:46:13like oh I get it now. So I think that1:46:15you doing it live is really important. I1:46:17think also showing people how you take1:46:20notes like I just kind of watched how1:46:21you approach it. I was like I didn't1:46:23think that's how you did it. M.1:46:24>> So, I think it's going to give people a1:46:26lot of clarity. The biggest thing1:46:28>> they're going to get from this is it's1:46:30actually not that hard to make God a1:46:32habit in your life. And it's not1:46:33something where you need to walk away1:46:35and have every single answer known to1:46:38man. It's1:46:38>> Wait, but is it Are they charging for1:46:40it?1:46:41>> No. Free.99?1:46:42>> No. Completely free. Every single1:46:43feature in the app.1:46:44>> Go download the app right now. Prepare.1:46:47>> Cortheart daily on the app store.1:46:48>> Yep. Cord Daily, guys.1:46:50>> This app is getting better and better1:46:51and better every every week. We'll push1:46:53up every week.1:46:54>> It is so quick and simple. Like if all1:46:55you wanted to do is read the daily1:46:56devotional, it takes you 5 minutes each1:46:58morning. Like Johnny's going to get on1:46:59and do1:47:00>> you 5 minutes.1:47:01>> No, it takes 5 minutes. It does take1:47:03five minutes to read those.1:47:04>> Yeah.1:47:05>> But yeah, like no, Johnny will get on1:47:06and read the devotional every morning1:47:07and then you'll probably if you have1:47:09time, you'll go into like the biblical1:47:10explanation, answering other questions,1:47:12just kind of how a normal live stream1:47:13is. But if all you wanted to do is get1:47:15through the devotional, join at 9:00 am,1:47:17five minutes, start your day with1:47:19biblical verse, a daily devotional from1:47:21Johnny. He'll explain it and that'll1:47:22just set you on the right path for the1:47:24rest of your day. It's like the story1:47:25that you were saying earlier. You go to1:47:27church on Sunday, recharge, and then it1:47:29just drains. Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday,1:47:30Wednesday, Thursday, all the way. Don't1:47:32wait until every Sunday to do this every1:47:33morning, 9:00 a.m. Just start your day1:47:35correctly.1:47:36>> Yeah.1:47:37>> May all all month.1:47:38>> We literally created the app for you1:47:40guys to do that to be able to I'll walk1:47:42you through it, get you guys started,1:47:44and hope that you guys stay with us cuz1:47:46we need that consistency. Not every one1:47:49of us has a church, but honestly, this1:47:51is like seminary and church and1:47:54spiritual walk and just having a1:47:56straight mentor like all in one. And1:47:59it's all every single day. So, it's it's1:48:02really really amazing for 31 days.1:48:04>> We can't guarantee this, but I would say1:48:06that if you stuck with the app for even1:48:07two weeks, you would see a noticeable1:48:09spiritual level up.1:48:10>> Oh, 100%. You will get your first1:48:12biblical unlock hopefully if you follow1:48:16the protocol. Um, yeah, within man, I I1:48:20think the first day is going to be1:48:22crazy. You guys are going to you you'll1:48:23see. You just have to follow it. You'll1:48:25see. And everyone's always asking, "What1:48:27is your routine? How do you quote1:48:29scripture? How do you do?" I will1:48:30literally be going over all of those1:48:33things.1:48:34>> Have you1:48:34>> everything1:48:35>> Have you guys heard the thing that it's1:48:36like after 21 days, that's how you form1:48:39a habit1:48:40>> for different I've heard 60 days, 211:48:42days.1:48:42>> Everyone says something different.1:48:43>> Yeah. So,1:48:44>> I know the 10,000 hours thing, right? Or1:48:46something. That's for sure to become an1:48:48Yeah. Yeah. 10,000 hours to build a1:48:50habit.1:48:51>> Well, we'll say that it's 14 days to1:48:53build a habit. I I really think it's 21.1:48:55If you do something for 21 days1:48:57straight, by the 22nd day, it'll be in1:48:58your mind to boot.1:48:59>> Well, I think if you do 10 minutes a day1:49:01of anything, 5 to 10 minutes a day, you1:49:04will build a habit for 31 days. Trust1:49:06guys, it literally does become a habit.1:49:09It is. It's going to be. All you have to1:49:12do is go to the link in our description1:49:15right now, download the app, and it'll1:49:17literally, you're gonna see it's going1:49:18to be scheduled there. You just add it1:49:19to your little calendar. Yeah.1:49:21>> Every time we're live, everything will1:49:22just be in the app. The announcements1:49:24and then also he goes live on every1:49:26platform. So, starting May 1st, put it1:49:28in your calendar.1:49:29>> It's all in the app. It's all in the1:49:30app.1:49:30>> Did you guys see the thing where it's1:49:31like fixing your worst habit will be way1:49:35more beneficial than adding your next1:49:37best habit?1:49:38>> Yes. like you have to patch up the the1:49:40bucket before you can fill it with1:49:42water. Facts.1:49:43>> Okay. If everyone's worst habit is1:49:45drifting away from God throughout the1:49:46week and only going on Sundays, and if1:49:48your worst habit is not making God a1:49:50habit in your life, then kick that one1:49:51in the butt1:49:52>> by joining the stream of fun.1:49:57>> Okay.1:49:58>> All right. That wraps up this episode.1:50:01>> And thank you guys for tuning in. And1:50:03like Unlearned Wisdom podcast fashion,1:50:06we always finish with a prayer. So let1:50:09us pray out. Let us bow our heads.1:50:12Father God, thank you so much that the1:50:13blood doesn't have a limit. Lord, you1:50:15know, there are so many sins that we1:50:17commit day in and day out, whether it's1:50:19intentional or unintentional. But Lord,1:50:20I'm so thankful that you don't count1:50:22that against us and rather you counted1:50:24it towards the cross and you abolished1:50:27it at the cross. So for that, God, we're1:50:29forever thankful. There are a lot of1:50:31brothers and sisters, Lord, who are1:50:33struggling to receive your heart, Lord.1:50:35They're struggling to feel loved by you.1:50:39[cough]1:50:39But [clears throat] the one thing that1:50:40we want to do, Lord, is to point them to1:50:43the gospel and point them to the cross.1:50:45Whenever there's a brother and sister1:50:46that's struggling with their sins, uh1:50:48whether they're failing, whether they're1:50:50just indulging, Lord, allow them to not1:50:53look at themselves, but to look at the1:50:55cross. Peter was able to walk on the1:50:57water, Lord, when he kept his eyes on1:50:59Jesus. But as soon as he started to look1:51:01at the situation around him, the storm1:51:03and the sea, the things that were1:51:05toppling him, he began to sink. Lord, I1:51:08ask that you give us the heart of Peter1:51:10to be able to look forward and have1:51:12faith, Father God, in the gospel, and1:51:14that you don't count anything against1:51:16us, and that God, we don't have to prove1:51:18anything to you, but we're approved by1:51:20you already 2,000 years ago on that1:51:22cross. Father God, thank you so much.1:51:25Allow the Holy Spirit to guide people1:51:26through the word to be able to see this1:51:28and this is true. Thank you, Father God.1:51:31We leave everything in your hands and in1:51:32Jesus name we pray. Amen.1:51:35>> Amen.1:51:35>> Like, comment, and subscribe. Share with1:51:37a friend. and download the audio1:51:38episodes.
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